hello!
so i'm done my summer placement at the hospital and am now in full study mode, when my melodramatic grandma and my dog allow me; i have my licensing exams coming up in november. EEK! shitting bricks is more like it. not much to report other than that. i'd like to do a little more "opening up" and a little more bitching on this blog but time does not allow, plus people i know read this blog and so i can't necessarily bitch about them now, can i? then again, it's my blog and i'll rant if i want to. anyhoo, i hope this finds you happy and in good spirits. pray for me.
CET :o)
Monday, October 05, 2009
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
the winding road
hello hello!
yes, it's been a while. crazy busy and busy crazy pretty much sums up the summer so far:
completion of degree: yes, i have now officially completed (and passed) my pharmacy degree! WOOT WOOT! four years. FOUR YEARS!!! i must say it feels good. four years of blood, sweat, tears and a pile of money the size of a small town and now i get to put some letters after my name. Six letters to be exact - MPharm. nice! :oD
the crazy thing is that this is JUST THE BEGINNING. now comes licensure in ontario, canada and with that is a whole new pile of blood, sweat, tears and money. yikes. speaking of which, i have moved back to toronto, canada for good. time to get licensed and start paying off some billz. it was hard leaving london - not the city itself (which don't get me wrong, i love) - but the people i've met and have become friends with these past four years; i am missing them tons. it's always that way wherever you go: while in city A you miss the people in city B and while in city B you miss the people in city A. i'm just going to have to live with it i suppose. i will be seeing them at the graduation ceremony this fall, so that'll be good. a riot, actually, it'll be a riot! i already can't wait.
so as soon as i landed on canadian soil i had to write the first of many exams towards licensure; this one was a two-day exam covering everything i've learned in the last four years (and then some), as it was an equivalency exam that all foreign-taught/trained students/pharmacists have to take. three hundred multiple choice questions over two days. yikes. i swear my blood pressure must've been markedly higher in the month leading up to this exam; shitting bricks doesn't even begin to describe it. when all was said and done though it was tough for sure, but not as tough as i thought it would be. i thought it would be impossibly difficult but it was possibly difficult and do-able. i had to draw on every brain cell for the answers but i managed, and more importantly, i passed! can i hear another WOOT WOOT!!!
my joy at passing was short-lived however as now i have to start preparing for the licensure exams in november: another two-day, multiple choice exam followed by a one-day practical exam known as the OSCEs. double yikes. i am loathe to pick up the textbooks again but pick them up i must; if i'm MIA from this blog for another couple of months you now know why.
returning home and settling back in has been pretty smooth; in all honesty it feels like another summer at home after a school year away - a part of me expects to be flying back to london come late september! reconnecting with family and friends has been good, and the best part is that i'm not trying to squish as many visits in with friends as i normally am before returning to london, because i don't have to go back this time! sweet! i can plan meetings, parties and hangouts at my leisure.
i do miss the complete independence i had when i was in london; no one to answer to, no one's schedule to follow but my own. living with the family again has been an adjustment for sure, and one of the biggest adjustments has been having to tell my parents where i'm going and when i'll be home. sigh. it's not like i'm an adult or anything. :oS
what i don't miss about london is the loneliness i felt. you can be alone and not be lonely, but while in london there were times where i felt alone AND lonely. london's that kind of a place (though i'm sure most big cities are like that to some extent).
anyhoo, so that's pretty much the last two months in a nutshell. plugging away, plugging away, until i can legally deal drugs in the province of ontario. i'm excited.
CET :o)
yes, it's been a while. crazy busy and busy crazy pretty much sums up the summer so far:
completion of degree: yes, i have now officially completed (and passed) my pharmacy degree! WOOT WOOT! four years. FOUR YEARS!!! i must say it feels good. four years of blood, sweat, tears and a pile of money the size of a small town and now i get to put some letters after my name. Six letters to be exact - MPharm. nice! :oD
the crazy thing is that this is JUST THE BEGINNING. now comes licensure in ontario, canada and with that is a whole new pile of blood, sweat, tears and money. yikes. speaking of which, i have moved back to toronto, canada for good. time to get licensed and start paying off some billz. it was hard leaving london - not the city itself (which don't get me wrong, i love) - but the people i've met and have become friends with these past four years; i am missing them tons. it's always that way wherever you go: while in city A you miss the people in city B and while in city B you miss the people in city A. i'm just going to have to live with it i suppose. i will be seeing them at the graduation ceremony this fall, so that'll be good. a riot, actually, it'll be a riot! i already can't wait.
so as soon as i landed on canadian soil i had to write the first of many exams towards licensure; this one was a two-day exam covering everything i've learned in the last four years (and then some), as it was an equivalency exam that all foreign-taught/trained students/pharmacists have to take. three hundred multiple choice questions over two days. yikes. i swear my blood pressure must've been markedly higher in the month leading up to this exam; shitting bricks doesn't even begin to describe it. when all was said and done though it was tough for sure, but not as tough as i thought it would be. i thought it would be impossibly difficult but it was possibly difficult and do-able. i had to draw on every brain cell for the answers but i managed, and more importantly, i passed! can i hear another WOOT WOOT!!!
my joy at passing was short-lived however as now i have to start preparing for the licensure exams in november: another two-day, multiple choice exam followed by a one-day practical exam known as the OSCEs. double yikes. i am loathe to pick up the textbooks again but pick them up i must; if i'm MIA from this blog for another couple of months you now know why.
returning home and settling back in has been pretty smooth; in all honesty it feels like another summer at home after a school year away - a part of me expects to be flying back to london come late september! reconnecting with family and friends has been good, and the best part is that i'm not trying to squish as many visits in with friends as i normally am before returning to london, because i don't have to go back this time! sweet! i can plan meetings, parties and hangouts at my leisure.
i do miss the complete independence i had when i was in london; no one to answer to, no one's schedule to follow but my own. living with the family again has been an adjustment for sure, and one of the biggest adjustments has been having to tell my parents where i'm going and when i'll be home. sigh. it's not like i'm an adult or anything. :oS
what i don't miss about london is the loneliness i felt. you can be alone and not be lonely, but while in london there were times where i felt alone AND lonely. london's that kind of a place (though i'm sure most big cities are like that to some extent).
anyhoo, so that's pretty much the last two months in a nutshell. plugging away, plugging away, until i can legally deal drugs in the province of ontario. i'm excited.
CET :o)
Monday, June 22, 2009
anger
just thought i'd expunge this here so i can get on with painting my toenails.
remember how ex-T didn't tell me about his engagement, leaving the dirty work to friends?
so my phone rang just a little while ago; i check the caller ID and it's ex-T. i wasn't expecting to hear from him for - oh i don't know, ever - so i hesitated for a few rings before answering it. he heard from a mutual friend that i was leaving town for good soon and so wanted to say one last hello and wish me all the best. throughout the exchange of niceties i kept debating whether or not to call him out on his cowardliness; on one hand "let sleeping dogs lie" and all that, but on the other i thought "fuck, why should i hang up without saying anything?" so nearing the end of the conversation i say "isn't there something you're forgetting?" to which he immediately replied "oh, that i'm engaged?" um yeah DUH, that you're engaged and forgot to tell me. at first he claims that he already told me, or at least he thought so, then he says he forgot, as he had to tell so many people that he must've forgotten to tell me. right.
i told him that it wasn't all that nice having to hear news like that from mutual friends (quite shit, frankly) when it's something that he should have told me himself. he then goes on - and this confirms for me YET AGAIN, why breaking up with him was the right thing to do - to imply that he's the VICTIM, that he's the victim of my horrible accusations. sigh. once a coward, always a coward.
even if it was true, that he sincerely thought he told me and that if he didn't it was an oversight, what a shitty thing to do to someone who was your first girlfriend (he's engaged to his second) for three years and the first person you ever loved and deeply at that?
i got off the phone with him and my hands were shaking. i hate how after all these years he can still affect me like that.
this particular boy sucks the chunk monkey SO large right now.
CET
remember how ex-T didn't tell me about his engagement, leaving the dirty work to friends?
so my phone rang just a little while ago; i check the caller ID and it's ex-T. i wasn't expecting to hear from him for - oh i don't know, ever - so i hesitated for a few rings before answering it. he heard from a mutual friend that i was leaving town for good soon and so wanted to say one last hello and wish me all the best. throughout the exchange of niceties i kept debating whether or not to call him out on his cowardliness; on one hand "let sleeping dogs lie" and all that, but on the other i thought "fuck, why should i hang up without saying anything?" so nearing the end of the conversation i say "isn't there something you're forgetting?" to which he immediately replied "oh, that i'm engaged?" um yeah DUH, that you're engaged and forgot to tell me. at first he claims that he already told me, or at least he thought so, then he says he forgot, as he had to tell so many people that he must've forgotten to tell me. right.
i told him that it wasn't all that nice having to hear news like that from mutual friends (quite shit, frankly) when it's something that he should have told me himself. he then goes on - and this confirms for me YET AGAIN, why breaking up with him was the right thing to do - to imply that he's the VICTIM, that he's the victim of my horrible accusations. sigh. once a coward, always a coward.
even if it was true, that he sincerely thought he told me and that if he didn't it was an oversight, what a shitty thing to do to someone who was your first girlfriend (he's engaged to his second) for three years and the first person you ever loved and deeply at that?
i got off the phone with him and my hands were shaking. i hate how after all these years he can still affect me like that.
this particular boy sucks the chunk monkey SO large right now.
CET
Sunday, June 21, 2009
solstice and all that
hey party people!
less than a month since my last post and so much (yet so little) has happened:
degree done: i finished my last set of exams for my pharmacy degree!!! WOOHOO!!! words cannot describe the utter joy that i felt when i walked out of the exam hall. all of us fourth years gathered on the steps outside the school and whooped it up; well okay it was only me jumping up and down and doing the jig - c'mon you brits, show a little emotion! - but regardless, a HUGE sense of relief washed over us and it was a good feeling.
the hook up that didn't happen: i'm apparently quite the seductress when i put my mind to it! don't really want to go into the details but i basically seduced my way into a classmate's bed, only to stop before things REALLY got started. i fully admit to being the temptress but when it came down to it i actually used my head instead of my loins, which does happen very often! i'm good friends with this guy and i just didn't want it to get weird or awkward (which i knew it would because it inevitably does), plus i wasn't all that attracted to him in the first place! it was more a "he was there, we were alone, why not?" type of deal. not worth the momentary pleasure, i thought. i can see us being good friends for a long while and so put the brakes on it before it went too far. yay me for abstaining for once! :oD
and then today i read this article in the guardian. food for thought...
the studying continues: instead of whooping it up, travelling a bit and having an all round good time in london before heading home, i'm stuck at my desk studying for a big exam back in canada at the beginning of july. it's an evaluating exam that all foreign-trained pharmacists/pharmacy students have to take (and pass) before writing the actual licensing exam. so no relaxation for me just yet. :o(
well, that's not true, i am heading to barcelona for a total of 48 hours this week, to meet up with my classmates who have been travelling through portugal and spain while i've been at home revising. they're ending their trip in barcelona and although i couldn't do the full trip with them, i can sure as hell do the last two days!
i'm leaving london for good on july 3rd. no more flying back and forth anymore - this is it! well, i'll be back for convocation in november but you know what i mean; it's the end of quite a significant chapter in my life. i think i've posted about this already but yes, i am ready to move on. i'm ready to be in one place for longer than six months; i'm (very) ready to move on with establishing my career. onward and upward for this pharmacist-in-training!
i'm sure i could speak more on my feelings about leaving but there's no time for introspection now; let me just get through this evaluating exam in one piece and then i'll be as introspective as you want.
happy summer solstice!
back to studying,
CET :o)
less than a month since my last post and so much (yet so little) has happened:
degree done: i finished my last set of exams for my pharmacy degree!!! WOOHOO!!! words cannot describe the utter joy that i felt when i walked out of the exam hall. all of us fourth years gathered on the steps outside the school and whooped it up; well okay it was only me jumping up and down and doing the jig - c'mon you brits, show a little emotion! - but regardless, a HUGE sense of relief washed over us and it was a good feeling.
the hook up that didn't happen: i'm apparently quite the seductress when i put my mind to it! don't really want to go into the details but i basically seduced my way into a classmate's bed, only to stop before things REALLY got started. i fully admit to being the temptress but when it came down to it i actually used my head instead of my loins, which does happen very often! i'm good friends with this guy and i just didn't want it to get weird or awkward (which i knew it would because it inevitably does), plus i wasn't all that attracted to him in the first place! it was more a "he was there, we were alone, why not?" type of deal. not worth the momentary pleasure, i thought. i can see us being good friends for a long while and so put the brakes on it before it went too far. yay me for abstaining for once! :oD
and then today i read this article in the guardian. food for thought...
the studying continues: instead of whooping it up, travelling a bit and having an all round good time in london before heading home, i'm stuck at my desk studying for a big exam back in canada at the beginning of july. it's an evaluating exam that all foreign-trained pharmacists/pharmacy students have to take (and pass) before writing the actual licensing exam. so no relaxation for me just yet. :o(
well, that's not true, i am heading to barcelona for a total of 48 hours this week, to meet up with my classmates who have been travelling through portugal and spain while i've been at home revising. they're ending their trip in barcelona and although i couldn't do the full trip with them, i can sure as hell do the last two days!
i'm leaving london for good on july 3rd. no more flying back and forth anymore - this is it! well, i'll be back for convocation in november but you know what i mean; it's the end of quite a significant chapter in my life. i think i've posted about this already but yes, i am ready to move on. i'm ready to be in one place for longer than six months; i'm (very) ready to move on with establishing my career. onward and upward for this pharmacist-in-training!
i'm sure i could speak more on my feelings about leaving but there's no time for introspection now; let me just get through this evaluating exam in one piece and then i'll be as introspective as you want.
happy summer solstice!
back to studying,
CET :o)
Sunday, May 24, 2009
here's a debate for you
i had a recent email debate with an ex of mine (the only ex i still speak to, come to think of it) about whether it's better to withhold the truth in order to avoid conflict, or tell the truth and deal with the consequence, even if the consequence is conflict. he said some people value avoiding conflict over telling the truth, while i say that telling the truth is the right thing to do, as avoiding conflict just makes you chicken shit. what do you think?
and i know my next statement is a GROSS generalization but it is one made based on my own personal experiences these last few years: canadian guys value telling the truth while british guys value avoiding conflict.
my ex (the one i had the debate with) has always been honest and direct in all his dealings with me, when we were together and now as friends; i respected french-canadian guy because he told me straight up that he had started seeing someone who wanted the same things he did (i.e. a relationship), and that he didn't want to jeopardize that by seeing me, as i only wanted something casual. both are canadian.
on the other hand, my british ex (remember "ex-T?") recently avoided telling me that he got engaged, leaving the dirty work to mutual friends. remember londoner? we had a brief fling before i left for canada for the summer, back at the end of second year; he avoided telling me that he had started seeing someone while i was away, and only came out with the truth when i called him on it. and youngin'? oh my god, don't even get me started on him. i won't go into the gory details but suffice it to say that there were SHITLOADS of things that i didn't find out until well after the fact, because he was too afraid/chicken shit to tell me. all of them are british (or english if i have to be specific - don't want to drag the lovely scots, welsh and northern irishmen into the cesspool of deceit if they don't deserve it).
so there you go. why do you think this is so? what are your opinions/conspiracy theories? am i just particularly "lucky" in meeting all these english guys who avoid the truth like the plague? why do they give the truth so little value? maybe i give the truth too high a value. then again, maybe not.
what are your thoughts? your own experiences? any insight is greatly appreciated.
CET :o)
and i know my next statement is a GROSS generalization but it is one made based on my own personal experiences these last few years: canadian guys value telling the truth while british guys value avoiding conflict.
my ex (the one i had the debate with) has always been honest and direct in all his dealings with me, when we were together and now as friends; i respected french-canadian guy because he told me straight up that he had started seeing someone who wanted the same things he did (i.e. a relationship), and that he didn't want to jeopardize that by seeing me, as i only wanted something casual. both are canadian.
on the other hand, my british ex (remember "ex-T?") recently avoided telling me that he got engaged, leaving the dirty work to mutual friends. remember londoner? we had a brief fling before i left for canada for the summer, back at the end of second year; he avoided telling me that he had started seeing someone while i was away, and only came out with the truth when i called him on it. and youngin'? oh my god, don't even get me started on him. i won't go into the gory details but suffice it to say that there were SHITLOADS of things that i didn't find out until well after the fact, because he was too afraid/chicken shit to tell me. all of them are british (or english if i have to be specific - don't want to drag the lovely scots, welsh and northern irishmen into the cesspool of deceit if they don't deserve it).
so there you go. why do you think this is so? what are your opinions/conspiracy theories? am i just particularly "lucky" in meeting all these english guys who avoid the truth like the plague? why do they give the truth so little value? maybe i give the truth too high a value. then again, maybe not.
what are your thoughts? your own experiences? any insight is greatly appreciated.
CET :o)
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
yeah, whatever.
the builder who tried to pick me up yesterday stops me today and says "you know what i said yesterday? well i apologize; i was just trying to be friendly" (yeah, "friendly", right. "friendly" is not asking if i have a husband and then giving me the bedroom eyes). he continues to say that his boss "roughed him up" when he caught wind of what happened - i'm sorry, like i'm suppose to feel bad for you? you're only apologizing to me because you got the verbal bitchslap from your boss. i wanted to tell him that the walls of this house are thin; i heard everything his boss said to him and you know what? he deserved it! take that creepoid!
CET :o)
CET :o)
Monday, May 18, 2009
um no.
one of the builders today tried to pick me up.
he asked if i had a husband. my "what the fuck?" face made him ask "why not? don't you want one?" uh yeah perhaps but he definitely won't be you buddy! then he asked if he could take me out for a drink sometime. i told him no; thanks but no thanks. he insisted so i busted out the "i'm leaving the country soon" and "i'm in the middle of exams" to shut him up.
i find out later from my landlord that he's married.
dickhead.
he asked if i had a husband. my "what the fuck?" face made him ask "why not? don't you want one?" uh yeah perhaps but he definitely won't be you buddy! then he asked if he could take me out for a drink sometime. i told him no; thanks but no thanks. he insisted so i busted out the "i'm leaving the country soon" and "i'm in the middle of exams" to shut him up.
i find out later from my landlord that he's married.
dickhead.
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