how to feel your age

i'm settling into my new place nicely. the landlord's pretty cool and laidback and it's been fun playing with his three year old son (i.e. another means for procrastination); one of his cats acts more like a dog and is always coming up to me for cuddles which is nice. i think i'll always be a dog person at heart but cats have a wee space there too.

do you remember when you were in your early twenties, and how you thought thirty was positively ancient? do young people today feel the same way about thirty year olds as we did then? god, you know you're old when you use the term "young people".

i'm having thoughts/musings about being a "mature" student amongst 21 year olds but i can't seem to articulate them. i've written and deleted several attempts. basically i think i feel kind of stuck in between the 21 year old's world and the world i think i should be in, which is the thirty-something's. all i do is hang around people much younger than myself (due to my degree course - no, i'm not a perv!) that it actually leaves me feeling somewhat intimidated when i have to carry on a conversation with someone who's my age or older. wtf?

i went to a concert last night with my university friends here; one of them got free tickets to see "one night only". hmmm. i think i might've enjoyed them more if i was a wee bit younger, but then again, if they actually played good music i don't think age would have been an issue. no, they weren't THAT bad - maybe i'm just that jaded? - i had to laugh out loud when the lead singer took off his t-shirt to reveal a red wife-beater underneath - the girls screamed in lusty approval but he was honestly the scrawniest boy i've ever seen in my life, i mean, look at this picture:



see what i mean? and again, skinny jeans rear their ugly head.

wow, this post is about a whole lot of nothin'. hey, here's a picture of the snow that fell in londontown last night:



i was caught unawares and did not have a hat nor scarf to keep the half-ass snow/rain at bay. got a little soaked running to the bus stop. felt slightly damp and miserable upon arrival home but am right as rain today after making a huge english breakfast.

oh, speaking of which, i might be gaining (and maintaining) the "middle aged mid-section" - the belly that won't go away even after a big session on the loo. spare tire, love handles, whatever you call it...i think it's gotten to a point where exercise of some magnitude is in order. now if only i knew what exercise was...

sorry to bother you all with such a shite post! back to work!

CET :o)

movin' on up

a few things i want to jot down before getting carried away with work (HA, who are we kidding - me getting carried away with work - as if that would ever happen!):

friday: i met a reader of my blog! in the flesh! totally out of the blue! i won't go into the details as i'm sure she'd like to keep her anonymity, but she figured out who i was because really, there aren't a lot of chinese-canadian girls in london (at least i don't think there are). it was slightly surreal, standing in front of a person who has been following your blog for the last three years...they knowing lots about you but you knowing very little about them...i must say, whoever would've thought this social dynamic would ever exist? the wonders of the internet, eh? anyhoo, i really enjoyed meeting her and hope to meet her again one day. hello reader!

movin' in, movin' up: i finally, FINALLY, moved into my flat yesterday. it's actually a whole house that i share with the landlord, his son and his two male cats. a house full of men, hmmm...first time i've lived with cats too so this will be interesting. the landlord also has a lovely little garden filled with flowers and fresh herbs - rosemary, basil, mint - i cut some rosemary for my roast potatoes tonight and i must say it's pretty cool to be able to do that. i'm only a bus ride from school and the neighbourhood's full of shops and restaurants that i want to check out; a couple of my friends also live in the area so it'll be nice to be able to pop around for a cuppa. i hope/i think i'll enjoy living here.

all hallows' eve: i'm working the bar that evening...i don't know if my student union's organizing a halloween party but regardless, i'll be dressing up. i must say that because halloween's a bigger deal in north america there is a greater variety of costumes back home than over here. i went into a party shop the other day and the only costumes they had for women were slutty french maid, slutty devil, slutty angel, slutty pirate, slutty witch...you get the idea. it's not too original but i'm thinking of being a black cat (like one of the cats i currently live with, complete with red collar). all you need is cat ears, a tail, some black eyeliner to draw your whiskers on and bob's your uncle. any other costume ideas perhaps you readers would like to share?

okay, got a lot of shit to do; must press on.

word up!
CET :o)

moray, anyone?

wow, a lot has happened in two weeks.

school started last week and i was thrown into that whirlwind, then an email from scotland came inviting me for a pre-registration (pharmacy training) interview at a pharmacy in a wee town along the moray firth coast. if you're reading this and don't know where that is, google it. heck, i had to when i first read the name of the town - i was like "where the heck is that?" anyhoo, a phone call and flights booked later, i was touching down in inverness for a quick jaunt along the coast to see about a job.

the place was beautiful but i knew that even before i went - it is bonnie scotland after all! i fell in love with the country years ago when canuckian and i toured the highlands together. the interview went well and by the end of it i was offered the job. i said i needed to think about it and they understood as it would require a least a year's commitment and the town where i'd be working is pretty isolated.

long story short: i turned down the job. if anything, spending time in scotland made me realize that i want to be home. i want to see my friends' kids grow up, i want to be a member of my hospital league softball team for many years; i want to spend time with family and friends and be an active part of their lives, heck, i want them to be an active part of mine. i told the pharmacist that perhaps if i was a few years younger (i am a "mature" student after all) and didn't feel somewhat of a time pressure, i would definitely say yes to a few years in scotland. and i must say that while the town and surrounds were beautiful, scenery alone should not be the only reason keeping me there; i honestly don't think i could've coped with the isolation. and i would also be the ONLY chinese person within a 20 mile radius - seriously! i met a little boy in town whose grandmother told me that he cried when he first saw an indian man because he had never seen a person with such dark skin before! bloomin' heck! i think i was only the second visible minority he had ever seen in his life.

anyhoo, i am grateful for this experience because i met a pile of lovely people and saw a part of scotland i had never seen before. i actually got a little verklempt when i spoke to the pharmacist as well as the pre-reg tutor on the phone tonight - i don't know why but maybe it was a mixture of guilt at turning them down, realizing how much i miss my family and friends and never allow myself to feel it, leaving a chance to live in scotland behind, a whole host of reasons really that i can't quite articulate...i just know that making this decision has been hard but in the end i've made the right choice for me.

CET

fuckin' eh!

i am finally done my literature review. THANK FUCKING GOD. seriously.

woohoo!!!

i have been virtually house-bound for the last three weeks. primarily by myself. little to no human interaction except for a daily hello to my two temporary flatmates when they leave for work and come home from work. maybe a few more words with them while in the kitchen, but otherwise nothing. i didn't realize how deprived i was of human contact until yesterday, my first day of school. i saw so many people and talked so much that i started to get fuzzy-brained and incoherent as the day wore on, like i had used up all my speech quota. by the end of the night i was mentally toast. even my throat was sore and dry from all the talking! few words to a million words spilling out of my mouth in one day. whew.

in other news, the "birthday" has already passed but it's been 3 years + 2 days since i started this blog! three years older and 358 posts richer (i hope); i can't believe it's been going for this long. to this day i still have pangs of "is keeping a blog too narcissistic of me?" but i've come to realize that whatever the blog, whatever the topic, whatever the post, it's the viewpoint of the blogger and hence in varying measures but all the same, it's about them.

i think the biggest bonus to come out of writing this blog is (virtually) meeting the people i have met and making the connections i have made, however weak or strong. whether it's been a passing comment, readers that lurk or friendships forged, this blog has allowed me to reach out to people i otherwise would never have met, and for them to reach back. for this reason alone i am glad to have started this thing.

anyhoo, i think i'm going to reward myself for finishing my paper by going to bed early. party animal i know.

love ya,
CET :o)

tookus numbus

1. my butt is numb from sitting in front of the computer all day. it's getting flatter and more numb by the second. i don't think any amount of squats or leg lifts will bring my bum to its former glory (hehehe).

2. what the heck is UP with men wearing skinny jeans??? who actually likes them? i was watching some vacuous fashion show on tv where two fashionistas had to make over a cute guy with absolutely no dress sense. what was the first thing they put him in? skinny jeans. hideous. absolutely hideous. someone should do a study on sperm count and skinny jeans, i'm sure they'd find a correlation.

3. current lit review word count: 4223. c'mon, almost there!

back to the grind,
CET