fire and brimstone, of the pharmaceutical variety

it's been a busy three months of unemployment, that's for sure. fortunately (unfortunately?) it was self-inflicted, as i ended my summer job at the hospital so i could study full-time for the month leading up to my licensing exams. that was ALL of october. all of it. my days were filled with finding the will to get out of bed, walking chili dog as he expects me to every morning, then cracking open the textbook where i left off the night before and trying to cram as much as i possibly could into my brain.

lather, rinse, repeat. lather, rinse, repeat.

by the time the exams came around in early november, i was a jittery stressball of nerves and little patience. i was so stressed i even broke out in hives the week of my exams. the exams themselves were (to this point) the hard thing i've ever had to do; it was like paying almost two grand (which i did) for the privilege of getting beat to pulp for 4-6 hours a day, for three days.

i bawled like a baby when it was all over, partly for the sheer relief of having it done with and partly because i thought i didn't do well enough to pass. a week after the exams (and with my hives magically disappearing), i flew to london to attend my graduation ceremony.

it was SOOO good to see my friends again and to experience the pomp and circumstance of graduation. donning the expansive black robe and over-sized mortar board; grinning from ear to ear as a million flashbulbs go off; walking across the stage, shaking the dean's hand, the culmination of four years of hard work, a plethora of emotions and an infinite number of memories, captured in one piece of paper.

it felt good.

back over the ocean again to sit and wait for my exam results. after six weeks of waiting, when judgment day finally came, i didn't even want to check the results online, the truth being so near it terrified me. after putting it off for most of the morning and part of the afternoon, i set up the laptop on the bed and set chili dog right beside it; he was my moral support and i needed him to be there for me, good or bad. i scrolled through the list of ID numbers to find mine; if it was there it meant i passed and if it wasn't well then you know...down, down, down through the list and there, like a sweet surprise after an eternal day, it greeted me. i gasped when i saw it as i truly did not expect to; i then grabbed chili dog and covered his belly with my sobs of sheer joy and relief! i had passed!

now it's more paperwork (of the aggravating administrative variety), more money handed over and more waiting, before i can start to fulfill the required number of in-service hours to become a licensed pharmacist. i will gladly endure the aggravation however, as the main hurdle to licensure has been overcome.

i have my good days and my bad days; my happy days and moody cow days. i just try to remember that i am so lucky to have this opportunity to get a great education, a life experience and a professional career.

BRING IT ON.