lots

i'm in a weird kind of mood today; this weekend is the first weekend since the summer started in which i do not have anything planned, AT ALL. not a single thing scheduled. a part of me is happy because i finally get to relax; another part of me feels restless, like i should be doing something, keeping busy, distracting myself from my thoughts. i don't like the fact that i feel like this.

i've been reading william leith's 'the hungry years; the confessions of a food addict'; it was published last summer and i had bought it then for the plane ride to london; needless to say i didn't read much of it on the plane or even off, so here i am a summer later finally getting my nose into it. it's a great book so far; it details his life of binge eating and yo-yo dieting, not to mention the drugs, alcohol and sex. written in a stream-of-consciousness style that's actually not annoying to read, i find the way he thinks about food absolutely fascinating. click here to read an interview he did with the observer.

developments in the 'crush' saga:

a) i slapped his bum this week (very 'cheeky' of me, i know); damn, he has got a NICE ass.
b) i found out the girl he's 'sort of' seeing actually does exist and - get this - she's asian, like me. fuck.
c) he flirts like a friggin' mofo...girlfriend or not, he'll flirt with anything that moves.
d) i hate the fact that i'm one of the people he flirts with, and the fact that i enjoy it.

last week my family and i were at a neighbourhood chinese restaurant having peking duck (yes, it was orgasmic); we were reminiscing about when we first moved to canada and were living in my aunt's house in downtown toronto. canuckian and i were young then, only 3 or 4; my mom was recounting how we were bawling, kicking and screaming at the top of our lungs when they brought us to daycare for the very first time. the daycare was located at the end of our street, only a few steps from our house but man, did we cause a ruckus or what, so much so that before our second day of daycare, they got us all dressed and ready to go the night before so when we woke up the next day they could just pick us up and run to the daycare before we had a chance to put up a fight!

other memories:

- the room we shared with our two cousins, complete with star wars curtains, sheets and comforters;
- the creak of the stairs and the long wooden bannister;
- the best porch in the world, with it's many layers of grey paint;
- skipping rope on the street in front of our house;
- going to the one chinese restaurant we always went to, all the time, with its little garden and fountain in front;
- buying the fake plastic gold rings with the fake gems made especially for little girls like me, in the convenience store next door to the restaurant;
- feeling like a million bucks wearing a fake gold ring, complete with adjustable band;
- eating my favourite donut, hawaiian, in my aunt's kitchen;
- chewing away all the sprinkles and leaving the donut part for my aunt to eat.

CET :o)