can't fault me for trying

so folks, the story ends here:

i asked coffee shop hottie out today and guess what? he has a girlfriend.

bummer.

it's a rainy afternoon here in londontown (why do people always start stories with a comment on the weather?); after a stressful morning dealing with idiots in my drug delivery lab, i went to the coffee shop to have a cup of tea and unwind. now, i already knew i'd pop by the coffee shop today, and if the opportunity arose i would ask coffee shop hottie out; due to having dinner with evil hypnotist and friends last night, who egged me on and provided advice on how to ask a guy out, i was buoyed with courage and confidence and dammit, CET was on a mission. i dressed up a bit nicer than normal and even put on makeup - yes, makeup! - as today would be the day!

i didn't bring an umbrella today (figures) so by the time i got to the coffee shop, CET was a little less cute-looking than normal. well, just a bit damp around the edges. it was busy when i arrived and so at first i just said hello and ordered my pot of tea. i found an empty corner and proceeded to read my book and sit tight, waiting for my moment. sure enough within twenty minutes the coffee shop became all but deserted; coffee shop hottie was downstairs putting away some recently-arrived stock and i thought to myself "okay, this is IT! go downstairs and ask him out!"

CET got up from her seat.


CET sat down.


CET got up again and took a step away from her seat.


CET sat back down.


CET thought "okay, you're being an idiot," and got up again.


CET sat back down.


my heart was racing a mile a minute and my throat felt constricted; where had all my built-up courage gone? i thought "oh fuck it, CET JUST DO IT ALREADY!" and got up from my seat and opened the door to the basement before my courage dissipated. the washroom was downstairs as well, so it wasn't out of place for me to be going down the very narrow steps; coffee shop hottie had put away the produce and was at the bottom of the stairs about to head up. we each said hello and he waited at the bottom of the steps for me to clear them before he made his way up:

CET: "hi...um...this might seem a bit weird, but would you like to go out for dinner sometime?"

i'm pretty sure that was the last thing coffee shop hottie was expecting to come from my mouth. the second the last word left my lips though, i knew his answer would be no; his face said it all. it was a spontaneous mixture of shock, happiness, flattery and sadness all at the same time.

at first he couldn't find the words, but then he said "i'd love to but...i have a girlfriend."

CET: "dammit!" (and then a giggle of nervousness and relief)

CSH: "i'm sorry!"

CET: "that's okay, i'm glad i at least tried. what can i say? you're cute."

CSH (blushing): "aw thanks. it was very brave of you to ask though, and i do enjoy seeing you at the coffee shop."

CET: "thanks. see you upstairs," at which point i made a beeline for the bathroom.

sigh.

in the bathroom i let out a burst of laughter, mostly because i couldn't believe i had done it! it was mixed with relief too, because now i have my answer and i don't have to pine or speculate anymore. i can go to the coffee shop now and say hi and make idle chit chat, knowing where i stand and knowing that i tried.

i must say though that it would've been nice to gaze into his deep, brown eyes up close and personal, rather than through the steam of a cup of tea...

CET :o)