unrequited

so i'm still kinda bummed at this recent revelation by my crush; emotions are fluctuating by the millisecond - what should i do? should i tell him how i feel anyway? should i just drop it and appreciate the friendship? how can i, he so damn cute! argh!

i've always been the type of person to tell the object of my affection my feelings for them, regardless of the consequences; i figure, nothing ventured nothing gained, right? a classmate told me somewhat recently that there's no point in having a crush on someone if you're not going to do anything about it, and i think this is very true. i mean, you might as well get it out in the open because once you know whether or not the feelings are mutual, you can move on, whether it be as a couple or as a single. better to know the truth than nothing at all.

the only thing is that i already pretty much know that he feels nothing for me. a) he's seeing someone, even if he said it was only 'sort of', b) sure we have lunch together sometimes, but it's mostly been me doing the asking, the emailing, the chatting, and c) if the guy was interested in me, i'm pretty sure he would've asked me out by now. i know there's something to be said for being shy, but i'm pretty sure he's not.

so, should i tell him? should i not? i actually do want to tell him just to get all these emotions out of me, a cathartic vomit if you will. that's how i've always functioned; i used to be fearless when it came to stuff like this, and i want to remain fearless now.

oh, and i know my blogging has been next to non-existent this summer but i figure, i don't live my life just to blog and i'm glad for it! i want to enjoy the sun, the city, my family and friends, and even now i still think blogging (specifically diary-like blogging) is innately narcissistic - i mean, just read what i just wrote, it's all about me and my stupid crush for goodness sake! blah! - so while i'm very grateful for my small group of loyal readers, you'll just have to wait until school starts again for a daily entry of my 'so-called' life! :o)

CET

p.s. let me know what you think i should do about my crush; to tell or not to tell?