i just saw some fireworks outside my window...at first i heard them and thought they were gunshots (hahaha, ahhh...), but then when i looked outside i saw all this glorious colour. i don't know why they were being set off, but it was lovely to watch all the same.
i feel kinda bummed today...i called scottish guy to let him know i was back from my trip; he said he wanted to meet when i got back. our conversation was fine, funny and flowing as always, but then he said he was "fully booked up" this weekend and how about this coming week? i told him canuckian's in town as of monday for the week, plus he himself has a relative coming to visit next weekend, so basically we kind of left it for the week after this one.
needless to say i was a bit disappointed, as we haven't met up for over two weeks now. i know, i know, i had exams and then my trip and all, but i was hoping he would be at least a little more keen to meet up, and would've at least had a bit of time this weekend to do so. it's just that in between dates (yes i know, i know, we've only had two but still) he's really not communicative at all, and it's always me sending an e-mail or a text here and there that he then replies to, and not right away either, more like twelve plus hours after the fact. is he just not a prompt e-mailer/texter/responder like myself? am i over-analyzing this? why does he seem so nonchalant about me in between dates, but the dates themselves are so great and i can obviously see that he's really into me? why is it so hard to find someone that likes you as much as you like them and wants to spend time with you?
so later on in the afternoon after our initial conversation, a friend gave me the idea to give him a quick ring and see if he would be free this afternoon for a coffee, seeing as how he his plans were for the evening. i called him but ended up interrupting him at an art gallery; i was so embarrassed i tried to get off the phone as quickly as i could. he said to give him a ring or an e-mail tomorrow but what's the point? I WANT HIM TO RECIPROCATE! PUT IN A BIT OF EFFORT! YOU CALL ME BUDDY, I DESERVE AT LEAST THAT MUCH!
i know i'm female and i obviously can't help it, but i hate it when i reduce myself to that type of female that i hate: neurotic, over-analytical, consumed by boys/a boy and what they think, what they feel, why they do this and why they do that, what does it mean when he does this, blah blah blah BARF. i hate it because more often than not (and if this is a generalization who cares, bite me) the boy in question/analysis isn't thinking ANY of these things, and probably doesn't even think of his actions or the consequences, he just does what he does and there probably isn't even a real reason for doing so, he's just being a boy. i hate thinking and thinking and thinking of possible explanations for said boy's actions when in reality there are no explanations there to be had. argh.
okay, i'm done my emotional purge for the evening, ugh. off to smoke some shisha with the girls.
CET
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4 comments:
as someone who has been there, i have learned that when they don't want to see you a few times a week and don't call (or whatever) you, they are usually not as into you as you hope they are, even if they are nice to you otherwise. i've had both sides of the coin, and even with the same person, and it can be really hurtful, especially if you are really into them. i guess i am really cynical right now but i just want to sday hold your head up and first and foremost, take care of yourself. don't let any stupid guy dictate how you end up feeling. it's not worth it in the end cuz you ROCK. be with him but until you know for sure, take it casual and see what happens..
Helen put it right.
Don't let a person dictate how you run your life.
The conjured idea of someone is often better then the person themselves.
Daydreaming is nice, but then it's not reality. I don't know what else to say. But I feel you. Why can't we find people who like one another equally? It's never like that.
Go about your business.
*Smiles*
"You know you're from Scarborough WHEN you hear loud noises and automatically think it's a gun."
I think you're allowed to analyze this situation as long as you're going to continue living your own life. It's great that you went out with the girls, instead of wondering about Scottish guy with a pint of ice cream in your hand while lying on the couch and watching TV for 4 hours straight.
thanks for all your support and words of advice! x
i will not let a guy dictate my feelings and my life, don't you worry...i guess i feel this way because he's the first "real potential" in a while so i'm anxious to see where it goes - i've never been the most patient of people!
all this doesn't matter though because canuckian's here in london and i am happy, happy, happy!
love CET :o)
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