wow, one hundred posts...i think it's a bit of a milestone! to everyone that reads it, i hope you've enjoyed my blog so far, and have found it somewhat interesting!
today has been a "non-day" of sorts but i've loved it. my first real day to do absolutely nothing but let the time go by. all i've done today is:
- eat
- watch "america's next top model" re-runs
- check e-mail
- nap for a couple of hours
- eat
- msn with friends
- watch "moulin rouge" on tv
- chat with my family
- eat
did i mention eating?
i got an email today from a girl i know that's getting married in september. i've mentioned her before (she's in the states, her fiance's in canada). all this wedding stuff has put me in a funk for what i think are the following reasons:
a) a wedding is such an obvious declaration of love, and reminds me that i don't have any;
b) it means that my friends are growing up, and i don't want to grow up;
c) society puts such pressure on you to get married before an imaginary "expiry date", and i hate that;
d) why does it feel like women are desparate to get married, while men can take their good old time?
e) weddings are expensive not only for the happy couple, but for the guests! and i am a dirt-poor student, so enough said.
don't get me wrong, i am VERY happy for everyone i know who are engaged and/or getting married. it's wonderful that they can find someone to share their life and be happy with. i don't know why, but all this marriage talk just leaves me feeling...weird. my sister told me a great term she got from a friend...i need to put on my "cosmic prophylactic" to protect me from all this wedding stuff.
anyhoo, enough of that. this week is my week off, and i'm starting it tomorrow with a trip to the hayward gallery with the evil hypnotist. we're going to see a retrospective on dan flavin, the same retrospective at the national gallery of art in DC when my sister was working there! can't wait.
CET
"love is like couture...if it doesn't fit it is a disaster."
(thanks to robs723 for that)
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5 comments:
i disagree that a wedding is an obvious declaration of love.. i don't think a lot of people get married for love (or as many as we are led to believe).. and it certainly is not the guarantee of commitment as we are led to believe since 50% of marriages end in divorce! a lot of people marry because they feel that's what they ought to do by a certain age or whatever. it also depends on who and where as well since arranged marriages happen in some cultures. i certainly don't need a wedding or marriage for me to show my love or commitment to someone. marriage isn't something i see as definite in my future.. if i get married, fine, but if not, fine. if i had to pick, i would opt to not get married. i would only get married if it was something my partner really wanted to do and we were living together and planned to continue doing so, and loved each other already anyway.. but only if he's adamant about it because i'd rather not if it was not a big deal to either of us.
i believe marriage to be an outdated institution and the main good i see in it is the economic partnership (in order to share the econimic perks of marriage, as permitted by the government). childrearing can still happen in a common law situation, for example. love and commitment can happen outside of marriage. the economic relationship (allowed by the state) cannot as easily, though we are lucky to have common law recognition in canada, unlike in some countries like the UK!
studies have also shown that women tend to be happier after a divorce whereas men do not - what does that say about marriage?
as a prof once said to us, getting married for women is like having to take care of another child. :) marriage has traditionally been more beneficial to men than women (we get more of the work and they have someone to care for them since they don't have their moms to do that anymore).. it's changing but this is still largely the case.
here here!
i will comment some more on your thoughts later, have to head out to the gallery now!
CET
Hey, I'll marry anyone that's willing to show me the MONAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!! CET, when are you gonna graduate into your swank career and start payin' my billz??? I plan to protest the patriarchal establishment by letting my wife be the breadwinner.
FIGHT THE POWER
Hey, I posted a comment first thing this morning and it's not here! I just said a big "amen" to Helen and a "hahaha" to sillyhead. Also, it's "psychic prophylactic", not cosmic.
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