holy shit what a weekend. let me break it down:
friday: cousin's wedding tea ceremony, then reception at banquet hall
conclusion: disorganization, chaos, relatives coming out to whazoo, happiness, joy, tears, lucky money, lots of gold = glad that's over with!
saturday: family friend's daughter's wedding
background: we use to play together when we were young, before a spat between one of the other families and my family caused us to not hang out anymore. bygones are now bygones, hence we were invited to her wedding (along with the other family that we feuded with). oh, and this was the first time we've seen our old playmate in about 10-15 years.
conclusion: some people are put on this earth to make you feel bad about yourself - she is one of them. no fault of her own mind you, i don't blame her at all, but it was all just so perfect it made me want to puke. she used to work as a model and her fiance (now husband) still works as a model; it was like i was dropped off on some alien planet that had a golf and country club, where all the aliens are wearing white (yes my friends, it was a 'themed' wedding where all the guests had to wear white. what did canuckian and i wear? black. foxy black dresses mind you, but black. i mean, white flatters less than 0.0001% of the world's population, am i really going to drop a fortune on a dress that makes me look fat? i don't think so. plus white is the colour of funerals and death in chinese culture, not weddings, so i was not under any circumstances going to wear white.) and look like they've stepped off the pages of a fashion magazine. at least the food was good and they had a jazz band, plus it was canada day so we got to see a bit of the fireworks coming from canada's wonderland.
best/worst moment: i was wearing a diamond ring on my right hand (a graduation gift from my family, using my grandmother's old diamond earrings), and would switch the ring onto my left hand whenever they played games where they asked all the singletons to come to the front of the stage, thus anyone who would try to get me to go to the stage would be met with a "i am engaged." of course the time comes for the throwing of the bouquet; i didn't want to go up there of course, but under intense pressure from my mom and her friend (plus canuckian had gone to the bathroom so i had no backup support), i slowly made my way to the front of the room. i hesitated for a second, when suddenly one of the 'aunties' - one that i despise, mind you - shouts out to me to get up on stage. i yell back at her "i'm engaged!" and she turns to my mom and asks "is this really TRUE?" of course my mom has to tell the truth, so when i'm back from not catching the bouquet the auntie asks that question that all singletons dread at functions like these, "so when's it your turn???"
auntie: "so when's it your turn?"
CET: "not for a long, long time thank you very much."
auntie (condescendingly): "but why not? it's a part of LIFE you know"
CET (fighting the urge to smack auntie's face): "i suppose so, but i'm busy doing other things. perhaps eventually, sure, but at the moment, NO."
then i looked at her with a "ask me one more question pertaining to my single status and i will bitch slap you from here to kingdom come" look. i think she took the hint. her young daughter was sitting next to us as we had this exchange; i could almost see the auntie reach out to cover her daughter's ears, lest she be exposed to such blasphemy. anyhoo, needless to say i was glad to see that evening over with too.
sunday: vegetarian reception for my cousin and his new bride, with 99% of the guests being from our temple
conclusion: i was the designated photographer and was glad for the job (to keep me busy); the food was fine, the guests were fine, everything was fine except for the bloody sermon delivered by the "religious figurehead" of our temple. she wanted to bless the couple and ended up on a tirade about the evils of eating meat. sigh. that is SO not going to happen if and when i get married. again, i am glad that's all over with!
final thoughts: if and when i get married it's going to be a) small, b) simple and c) involve a barbeque in my backyard with close family, friends and lots of meat.
oh, and 'the modern day ken and barbie' line is a direct quote from the groom's mother - 'nuff said.
CET
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7 comments:
Lawd a mercy man, what a weekend!!! You summed it up beautifully, my sentiments exactly. Especially the bit about barbeque and meat, mmm...I miss the T-dot already! Mwah ;o)
Three weddings.. all in a row.
What the hell. I guess this is where girls go on weekends. They goto weddings. Is it because girls like to get dressed up?
I dispise weddings, everything except the eating part. The games.. That is an absolute NO! I HATE THEM! unless it's the bride and groom. Dancing is the other thing I hate. It's so damn cheesy.
All cause for celebration, Good for them. When I get married, I'm going to have a live reggae band.
I am so with you about the rnon-religious preachy minister guy that marries you (can't remember his official title). I would hate hate hate anything religious at my wedding and I hate "higher-up" people telling other people "what they should do. It's sooo condecending.
Unfortunately, because of my gigantic family (close to 80 blood relatives), I won't be able to have a small wedding. Sometimes I want a small wedding, sometimes I wanna celebrate the fact that my family is so huge.
And a tid-bit about my situation: although I'm still "single", and on my way to getting engaged, my grandma will always find something to pester me about. If it's not the wedding (which is being planned for june 2008), it's the kids (which will come 2/3 years after the wedding). It's like they can never be satisfied. On top of the domesticness, I also plan on doing my MBA, so I have my plate full.
I hope your something bad happens to your aunt so that she realizes that marriage isn't everything. (and by bad, I'm not being mean, but hoping you can get some "good" revenge on her.) also, that something bad could be her younger child getting pregnant (it would be better if she wasn't married herself and still in high school!!!!....Sorry about the bad karma but I totally feel for you, and know what it is to have a rude aunt.
hah! hilarious. sounds like some of the crap i go to at family/family friend's weddings. the annoying marriage question since at 29, i am way over the hill, apparently.
i should just be like, "i'm a LESBIAN" and then they'd leave me alone (or not).
oh, and i once actually hung up on a family friend who is especially annoying (always trying to set me up with her godson just cuz we are near in age, as a stupid way of teasing me) because she wouldn't relent when i had picked up the phone.
jason: i'm pretty sure that's not why girls go to weddings. i've concluded that i am not a 'wedding person' myself, and would much rather be doing other things on the weekend than attend someone's wedding. of course i am VERY excited about mr. bing's upcoming wedding, but that's because i know it's going to be a guaranteed GOOD TIME.
i didn't think you'd hate the dancing considering you're a b-boy!
styxxx: she's not really my aunt, we just call her that. i don't really wish her ill, just rather i wish something annoying would happen to her, like her stepping on a pile of poo would be nice.
missruckus: i should DEFINITELY use the lesbian line next time i get asked that horrible question! i'd love to see the look on the person's face...
CET :o)
I was merely just kidding....it was more like those fantasies (albeit, evil) that one has when they are in the moment. I totally don't wish ill on your "aunt" either, but sometimes I like to think about just how much marriage really means in the scheme of things, and truly it's not that important. It really bothers me when other people think it is, and want to convince you that it should be in your world too.
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