yes i know, it's been a while!

highlights since coming home:

- brought back fresh lobster from halifax - canuckian, our dad and i had a seafood feast! absolutely magnificent.

- skating at harbourfront centre with canuckian - right by lake ontario, lots of space, not too many people and best of all it's free! loved it.

- helped canuckian out at the harbourfront centre on wednesday, making paper masks with a bunch of grade schoolers - check out my paper mask! it's suppose to be a phoenix rising from the flames.

- was suppose to go skating again on thursday with two guy friends, but ended up spending the afternoon drinking at a pub. had some great laughs. one of the best feelings is to be laughing with friends.

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYBODY!!! HAVE A GOOD ONE!!!



the view of the lake from the skating rink.



huge christmas tree downtown, bay and wellington



my phoenix mask!



chili wearing my mask.

love CET :o)

the 'fax and peggy's cove

that's a boat called the "saucy sue" at the maritime museum in halifax.



halifax's clock tower is on same hill as the city's citadel, though you can't see the citadel from this angle.



point pleasant park. it used to be dense with trees until a hurricane a few years ago wiped most of them out!



that's me by the atlantic ocean!



peggy's cove, nova scotia. population: 40.



lighthouse!



we watched the waves crash against the shore for a long time. i love being by the sea.



that's me standing on a rock in the middle of a pool of water amongst all the rocks in peggy's cove. i seem to be fascinated by something in the water.

yes it was grey and yes it was cold, but it was a lovely day had by muttonface and i!

CET :o)

stars and ocean

i saw the stars last night! no, not the celebrity kind but the points-of-light-in-the-sky kind. it's funny/sad how i didn't even notice that i haven't seen them in a long time until i looked up last night and there they were in all their glory - the big dipper, little dipper, orion's belt - winking at me from way up high.

in halifax visiting muttonface this week - halifax, nova scotia, canada, not halifax, england for those who might be confused - walked to the park today after having a monster of a lunch (sweet potato poutine and seafood chowder, mmm) and dipped my hand into the atlantic ocean. c-c-c-c-cold. i realized that i've touched the atlantic ocean from both sides of the world, at four different locations: halifax, nova scotia; delaware, usa; cornwall, england and the algarve, portugal. i feel very blessed to have had the opportunity to do so!

today is my birthday (canuckian's too of course!). happy birthday canuckian!

muttonface's flatmate's cookin' up something good for dinner right now, it smells yummy. will be going to some reggae night thing that muttonface knows of afterwards, should be a good time!

CET :o)

nothing ventured nothing gained

i was also thinking of titling this post "i have balls."

so i went to the coffee shop just now, primed and ready to ask coffee shop hottie his name. yes, i am leaving the country tomorrow and yes, i have left it until the last possible moment but still, i have been a very busy girl this week so have not had time to go until today.

as per usual on a sunday afternoon the coffee shop was packed, filled with christmas shoppers taking a break from wandering around spitalfields across the street. the queue to order was tremendously long (and for a tiny coffee shop that's saying a lot!); i quickly scanned behind the counter and much to my dismay, coffee shop hottie was not there! doh, thwarted! don't worry however dear readers, CET did one better...

so this guy standing in front of me turns around and asks if i could hold his place in line while he gives his bag to his friend who's sitting outside at one of the tables. i say "sure, of course," and when he gets back we start chatting. he's a cute scottish guy from inverness with dark brown hair and blue eyes; we talk about scotland, canada, living in london, what i'm studying, etc., all the while getting closer to the front of the queue. he gives his order and is suddenly off with his two cappuccinos and slice of carrot cake, wishing me a happy holiday before disappearing. i order my wild mushroom soup and find an uninhabited corner to eat.

while eating i start thinking about going up to him after i'm done and giving him my number. i even take out a random scrap of paper from my purse, write my name and number down and put it back, at the ready for when i approach. obviously during this time my mind switches back and forth between fear of rejection and building enough courage to do something i've never done before - give a complete stranger my telephone number. just to prolong the internal debate i order a cup of tea and stew for a little while longer, hoping the courage will come soon and come fast.

i finally get up from the table and make my way outside; he's sitting with his friend a little distance from me. i start walking over, my heart going a mile a minute, when suddenly fear grips me and i veer across the street to spitalfields, stopping behind a white van! i quickly call kiwigirl for support and advice, as my biggest obstacle (besides my fear) is the fact that his friend is a GIRL, and so therefore might be his girlfriend! how would it look, giving him my number in front of his possible beloved?

kiwigirl says "nothing ventured, nothing gained" and i don't even know this guy and may never see him again, so i have nothing to lose. we debated the whole friend/girlfriend situation and well, it's not like i know for sure she's his girlfriend, so i might as well try!

i hang up and stand behind the van for a minute, trying to build up the courage once more. i set off back across the street and approach him from behind, taping him on the arm. i don't know what i said because i was so nervous and it probably came out all in a jumble but i think it was something along these lines:

"hi we spoke in the coffee shop i hope this isn't too forward of me but here's my name and number i'm leaving the country tomorrow but will be back in january so give me a call sometime if you want i hope this isn't too forward of me take care happy holidays bye."

then i practically flew down the street, so nervous and delirious and giddy i was! i think he looked kind of shocked and i did look at his friend/girlfriend for a moment and i hope my eyes told her "i'm sorry if this is your boyfriend and i'm trying to pick him up in front of you - i hope you'll forgive me but if he's not your boyfriend can you blame me for trying?" he did smile and wished me a happy holiday again, and that's all i saw and heard before turning around and running away.

so i didn't get coffee shop hottie's name (project for the new year) but i GAVE MY NUMBER TO A COMPLETE STRANGER! i think that more than makes up for it.

CET :o)

vacation starts NOW!

last day of classes was yesterday, though i didn't have any scheduled. finished my lab report thursday night at school and handed it in so i didn't have to go in on friday. that was a monster of a lab report; treated myself to some pie afterwards, courtesy of the square pie company.

YEAH, I'M FINISHED SCHOOL FOR THE YEAR, WOOHOO!!!

am in an internet cafe in greenwich at the moment, had a bit of a wander around the market. i totally did not need yet another t-shirt with a design on the front, but couldn't resist this one as i'm in pharmacy school: the front of the shirt reads, "study hard, DRUG SCHOOL." too perfect.

i have a hen night party to go to tonight, as well as three other birthday/christmas/end-of-term parties. think i'll only be able to do two. money is falling through my fingers like water!

flying off to halifax on monday to see muttonface for a week! cannot wait!

to everyone in the t-dot: see you from the 17th onwards!

i am very excited.

CET :o)

the final stretch

sorry fellow readers for being MIA for almost a week; end-of-term parties + early birthday party + christmas parties + HUGE lab report due friday = very busy CET :o)

themed parties: there is definitely something to be said about having a themed party. friday night saw some classmates and i at a party entitled "hoxton's next top model", as hoxton is the neighbourhood where the party was held. the organizers decorated the flat from top to bottom with magazine pictures and photo spreads; people were dressed up as models, from twiggy to zoolander! i was itching to get my groove on and thank goodness the music was pumping, with good tunes at that; CET shook her booty until 4am!

saturday saw CET on an outing with vij and her classmates, in and around brick lane. curry dinner at sweet and spicy, that mom & pop type shop i mentioned in an earlier post, followed by drinks at some random bar, then dancing (somewhat) at another bar in shoreditch.

running man gone bad: saw the most HEINOUS demonstration of the running man at the shoreditch bar - seriously, this woman was showing her male friend, step by god-awful step, how to do it. i wanted to go over and slap them both for such a shockingly appalling rendition of a classic 80's dance move. how dare they.

sunday was skating at somerset house in the morning. i absolutely LOVE LOVE LOVE skating and it was the best way to get into the christmas spirit. it was pissing down with rain up until the minute they opened the doors to the rink; as soon as we stepped out it was all glorious sunshine!

yes, being canadian and having skated since i was little, i was one of the better skaters out there, that is until i fell on my ass while showing off to my friends by doing a spin. :o)

early birthday celebration: dinner at sarastro's with some of my close friends here in london. classmate T bought me a dress for my birthday that i was keen to show off; i received many compliments! thanks T! the food was seriously overflowing - for real, dessert alone consisted of a huge fruit platter and five different desserts - as was the wine, the varied discussions and the good times. i feel very grateful to have such a friend base here in london.

off for home after spending the last 4 hours at the library - see, i can be quite studious when i want to be - am looking forward to some homecooked indian food courtesy of vij.

CET :o)

tuesday night routine

for the second tuesday in a row, vij and i have gone through a bottle of wine while watching tv - last night it was CSI Miami and New York. Classmate T joined us too; we brought home some yummy lamb biryani, shemi kebabs and a spinach dish from a mom & pop shop on brick lane. this was followed by a healthy dose of belgian chocolate truffle cheesecake, washed down with the wine of course. good old yellow tail shiraz...

nothing much to report - things have calmed down a bit compared to last week which was pretty hellish. just trying to buckle down and get stuff done before flying home for the holidays.

CET :o)

moving on and glad for it

yes, it is indeed the pie house in greenwich.

cheap and good does not even begin to describe the place. it was an institution.

i found out some news today regarding office boy and i'm happy to say that i am SO OVER HIM. it's such a wonderful feeling when you realize someone is not worth your time or your tears, and that you can do SO MUCH BETTER.

i want a man that can handle being with a WOMAN.

gotta go!

CET :o)

lament for goddard's pie house

white tiles, wooden floor
long wooden tables with pew-like benches
pie and mash for £2.50
steak and kidney, chicken and mushroom, cheese and onion
eel liquor that i have yet to try
mash with enough gravy to fill a small swimming pool

best of all, piping hot rhurbarb crumble with custard
brought up the stairs to the table by the window on the second floor
custard overflowing the crumble dish into the bowl
savouring each spoonful while watching the street below
rain pouring down, people running for cover
me with my thoughts and my pie.

goddard's pie house, 1890 - 2006

you will be sorely missed. :o(

yellow tail and jerry

after yet another incident (which i can't get into here), vij and i cracked open our bottle of yellow tail shiraz (courtesy of marvin the martian - thanks!) and drank it all, while watching "jerry maguire" on tv. jerry's arrogance and personality kind of reminded me of office boy, so i was cursing at the tv in between big gulps of red wine :o) at the end of the movie though jerry finally realizes what a doofus he is and comes around - i couldn't help but sigh and wish that was office boy and that renee zellweger's character, dorothy, was me. and can i just say how ridiculously cute that little boy is in the movie?

went to the coffee shop today and a slight turn of events - no i didn't get his name but another guy that works there - that i've seen before but not often - spoke to me! he's american and, noticing my canadian accent, asked which part of canada i was from as i was getting up to leave. there was some slight confusion for some reason as he thought i was from the west coast, with a seattle/vancouver-type accent (which i've never gotten before); i should've made more small talk with him but he caught me a bit off-guard. as for CSH, i've graduated from just "hi" to "hi, how are you?" today!

wandered around spitalfields for a bit and am now at an internet cafe/photocopying/faxing/international calls/buffet indian restaurant place - yes, i am confused as well and yes, this place actually exists - off for home soon to get cracking on some much-neglected homework.

CET :o)

you will never know

dear office boy,

you will never know about my favourite coffee shop here, with it's floor-to-ceiling wood panelling and bar top counter, over a century of wear worn into each knot and fibre; you love old buildings and architectural details and i know you would've loved this place as much as i do;

you will never know that on one particular bus route i take i pass by an outdoor sculpture by an artist that we've talked about and discussed at length, and that seeing this piece reminds me of you;

you will never know how i saw a t-shirt at camden market that i know you'd love, as the design on it was the exact same as on the poster you showed me at your apartment that morning;

you will never know how i can't look at ties and cufflinks without thinking of you; i liked picking out your tie that day and remember how you mentioned that we should go tie shopping together;

you will never know the depths of my feelings for you, which surprised me most of all; despite these feelings, i knew from the start that everything was doomed to fail;

you never promised me anything nor i to you; we had nothing between us except those moments and yet i cried and felt loss when i found out you are currently seeing someone and that it's "serious".

i hate the fact that more and more i realize "timing is everything", and yet timing is something i don't seem to have.

i hate the fact that you couldn't even tell me yourself.

i hate the fact that i put myself out there time and time again, and yet time and time again i come away bruised and battered. i take solace in the fact that despite this, i have enough courage to make myself vulnerable to people and take chances, and because of this i have no regrets.

i hate the fact that even as i type this i miss you, and want to talk/e-mail/see you when i know i won't and will not.

i hate the fact that i've always known that you don't care for me as much as i care for you, and yet my feelings continued to grow.

i don't wish you any malice or ill-will; this is just life as it happens and right now i'm just getting the short end of the stick. as always time will heal; i look forward to the day where i can look back on this fondly.

sincerely,

CET

swearing and sliding

we got to the tate modern after 2pm; although going down the slides is free, you had to get a timed ticket on a first-come, first-serve basis. we weren't able to slide down the slides coming from the 4th and 5th floors, as the times for those were really late, but we managed a run on the 3rd floor slide.



i didn't realize the slide would be so steep and so bumpy! as i shot down i felt the effects of gravity on my chest, like the feeling you get when you're coming down a really steep incline on a roller coaster; i have a tendency to swear when angry, scared or exhilarated, so on the way down i screamed "HOLY SHIT MOTHERFUCKERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!"

i got to the bottom and my friends were there pissing themselves laughing - i didn't seem to realize that the slides were not sound-proof, and EVERYONE in the HUGE hall (including mothers and their impressionable young children) had heard me swearing like a sailor. oops. oh well, they all have to learn swear words at some point.

i can't wait to go back another day to do the 4th and 5th floor slides (see picture). imagine the filth coming out of my mouth while sliding down the 5th floor slide!?! i should issue a warning before going down...

CET :o)
p.s. that last sentence sounds really bad if you didn't know i what i was talking about...

lattes and drunken teddy bears

friday: hung out with T&A and their oh-so-drunken yet oh-so-fun friend, olivier. drunks can be stupid/violent/annoying, but olivier was very entertaining! his eyes couldn't focus, his speech completely incoherent but boy, did we have a good time. at one point he thought my name was lindsay and that i was from the province of quebec - in china. sounds stupid i know but i suppose you had to be there. he was so easy to take the piss out of and did i ever!

saturday: watched the lord mayor's show and the subsequent fireworks - really enjoyed it. there was this sweet little float celebrating the providers of seafood to london's markets; kids and adults were dressed up as fish, lobster and octopus and one particular little boy in a shiny, pink fish costume had everyone in stitches, as he wanted to wave to the crowd but couldn't, seeing as how his arms were packed into his tubular fish costume. so cute.

stayed in and watched an indian film with vij on saturday night, "woh lamhe" starring kangana ranaut and shiney ahuja. it's a love story between a top actress and an aspiring filmmaker. very good dramatic film and i really enjoyed the actors' performances; the only time i laughed out loud was when during one particularly dramatic scene in which the couple embrace, the male lead suddenly breaks into song. too funny.

sunday: spent the afternoon wandering around spitalfields with gabby and then going to the coffee shop to check out the hottie - gabby had never seen him before. gabby's verdict? "you weren't kidding when you said those eyes should be illegal!" amen sista.

another light week for me class-wise; will try to be studious however and get some studying done. i do want to take time though to check out this latest installation in the turbine hall of the tate modern - you get to slide through the tubes, how awesome! weeeeeeeeee!!!

CET :o)

hmmm...

i'm at the library where i should be studying and yet, surprise surprise, i'm e-mailing, chatting and blogging on the internet. why do i even bother to kid myself?

so...i've realized lately that i like someone a lot more than i thought i did...i don't like this fact at all, because i'm pretty sure it's not reciprocal. needless to say i'm a wee bummed out about it. i mean really though, what was i expecting, another long distance relationship? HELL no, not if i can help it! actually, i wasn't expecting anything at all, only now i feel like i do want something more. what? i don't know. more? yes. all very cryptic i know, but that's how i've been feeling as of late.

i think i need to make a trip to the coffee house, perhaps at the end of this week, to get my mind off this...

had lunch today with an old co-worker and got caught up on all the gossip. i had a chocolate bread and butter pudding with vanilla cream that was YUH-UH-UMM-MMY, oh yes...am definitely going back for some more at some point!

going to capoeira class tonight - have missed the last two due to business woman's visit - am looking forward to it very much as have desparately missed the exercise. my ankle is STILL slightly wonky from the fall during halloween weekend so must take it easy today. there's a big afro-dance/capoeira workshop going on this saturday that i might partake in, though the lord mayor's show is on the same day and time as well.

have recently discovered the wonders of facebook - good god i didn't know how popular it is! - is anyone else on it? i'm not so addicted to it yet but i know people who are. all this wall-to-wall messaging and photo-tagging, another highly-effective time-waster...

CET :o)

i am being good today...

...i'm only giving myself an hour at the computer before going home and studying for my test on friday on the central nervous system. i feel like this might be what med school is like, having to learn the full latin names for the most miniscule regions of grey matter, whose uses are not even fully known or understood.

not much to report today, just want to get studying so i feel like i've done something productive with myself. am hopefully looking forward to a good chat with sue tonight!

gotta go, have a great day everyone!

CET :o)

well that was awkward...

have spent the last three hours on the computer at school...holy, am i addicted or what? this is what i get for not having internet access at home.

had dinner on friday with a bunch of people i used to work with, including ex-T. except for ex-T, business woman and i, everyone was either:

a) engaged;
b) married; or
c) in a seriously committed relationship.

the evening was lovely although at times i felt like either bridget jones from "bridget jones' diary" or hugh grant from "four weddings and a funeral", when he was sat at a table filled with all his ex-girlfriends.

at one point in the evening the girl who's engaged was lamenting the fact that her fiance lives in the states and how the time difference is hard on them both; she asked ex-T and i "what was the time difference for you two? 5 hours? 8 hours? wasn't it hard?" ouch. ex-T promptly excused himself to the bathroom and i was left to fill the girl in. she knew we were broken up but didn't know the extent of the PAIN. pass the salt please!

in other weekend news, vij, her dad, business woman and i had high tea on saturday at the chancery court renaissance hotel - all was lovely except for the fact that they left out my order (and vij's) and then promptly RAN OUT OF FOOD. we had to wait for almost half an hour while they scrambled about (probably running to the grocery store next door to buy food); this is a PREMIERE hotel in london and they run out of food??? as if! no hotel, especially this one, should ever, EVER, EVER be caught out like that. disgraceful! five stars my ass!

sunday was another laidback afternoon listening to the musical stylings of local jazz musicians at the spice of life pub. ahhh, sweet, sweet music. the old man was there again and we had a good chat; he said to definitely keep in touch and he will show me all the different places in london to experience good jazz.

it was also guy fawkes day here in england - he planned to blow up the houses of parliament back in 1605 - and now people here celebrate this botched attempt at absolute anarchy by setting off fireworks! the people in our building had a little bbq/fireworks display of their own, and invited vij and i to sit and chat with them. such lovely, lovely people; so warm and friendly and immediately amicable. it makes me all the more grateful that we live where we live because it really feels like a community and a home!

CET :o)

baby steps...

business woman and i went to the coffee shop this morning for brekkie...coffee shop hottie wasn't working when we first ordered and sat down, but near the end of our meal he walked in, saw me and said hi! good sign: he recognizes me. conclusion: small victory won.

most of the feedback i've gotten from everyone has been "just ask him out!" i suppose i'm going to have to, as i'm sure you don't want to read about me going on and on about his gorgeous mocha eyes for the next few years - you'd probably want to slap me - heck, i'd want to slap myself!

so i will try to muster up the courage to a) strike up some semblance of a conversation with him which will b) lead to more conversations which will c) lead to me asking him out!

did you know:

- i live in an area of london that once had the highest population of women, almost all of which worked as prostitutes?
- i live in prime jack the ripper territory!

business woman and i did the "jack the ripper" walk last night, it was very good. our guide was excellent at describing the murders (most gruesome!), the characters involved and the history of the time. the houses in our area that once were "doss houses" to thousands of people who had no place to live now sell for millions of pounds. in these doss houses you'd pay about sixpence to sleep on a mattress on the floor, fourpence to share the mattress with someone, and twopence to sleep on a washing line! seriously, you literally hung your head and arms over a line strung across two posts and slept standing up! in the morning to kick you out the landlord would cut the washing line. and in the one square mile that was the city of london at that time, three million people lived! craziness.

CET :o)

my fancy gives a lecture

so the handsome prof b. gave a lecture to my class today...it's so funny because quite a few people now know i find him highly attractive, so throughout class i was subjected to many sly looks, giggles and snickers...i don't mind though, as it spices up my day! speaking of which...

vij proposed that in my last year of school, right before i leave england, i give coffee shop hottie a note to let him know that over the last 4 years, i have enjoyed coming to the coffee shop in large part due to him. would this be creepy or cute? please keep in mind:

a) i don't expect anything from him - i just want him to know i appreciate him (and his yummy mocha eyes of course)
b) point a) is proven by the fact that i would be about to leave town when the note would be given
c) wouldn't it brighten up your day immensely to know that you've had such a positive effect on someone?
d) doing this would let him know how i feel without sabotaging my coffee shop visiting rights

what do you think? i still have another 2.5 or so years to mull this idea over.

CET :o)

i've found a new place...

...in london that i love. spice of life pub in soho is wonderful - it was where the the sunday jazz session was held. the venue was intimate, the musicians heart-achingly good...it was mostly improv jazz where if you wanted to play you'd sign up beforehand and then bring your instrument, an "open mic night" if you will. let me just say though, these "amateurs" had SKILL man, buckets of it.

i can't adequately describe how good the musicians were - i wish you all in canada/usa could fly over here and listen for yourself! - everyone who performed just picked up their instrument and the vibes just flowed; it was like listening and watching a river of sweet-ass music being created. VERY zen and VERY cool.

there was also one particular drummer that made my heart skip a little - a tall guy of mixed ethnic origin (asian and something else, mmm mmm good) - who was so good-looking and so talented (this is why musicians get so much play, on the stage and off!). alas, there was an equally tall, equally good-looking girl that he hung out with between sessions that looked as if she was his girlfriend.

the kindly old man was there albeit a bit late (we were about to leave when he showed up); we had a really good chat and he said to come again next sunday, which i will gladly do! apparently this sunday afternoon jazz event only occurs on the first and last sunday of every month, though the pub itself has jazz and other music performances throughout the week.

sillyhead, you would LOVE it! you and sweetiehead should get your butts over here soon.

halloween party: on saturday night vij, gabby, business woman and i got dressed up for gabby's co-worker's halloween house party. i wore a sweet, 60's vintage dress i found for only £7! gabby wore her flamenco dress while vij dressed up as a teacher.

the party was great - you paid a small fee but it was unlimited food and booze, shishas/hookahs too! - you can be sure i took FULL advantage of it! the house and backyard were beautiful and everyone was dressed up to the nines.

slight downer: i was chatting to this guy dressed up as a bloody butcher with a hockey/jason mask on; he mentioned he has a girlfriend (she was standing across the garden from us). i was pretty drunk by this point but still managed to notice that his hand was on my leg the entire time we were talking, though i was too drunk to do anything about it...then when i got up to join vij, he groped my ass! what a sleaze!

slight accident: i was well-boozed by the time the gaggle of us girls took the bus home. i wasn't stumbling around like a fool or anything, as i was really concentrating on stopping the world from spinning, but suddenly my ankle gave out and i hit the ground hard. scraped my knee good - i haven't had a scrape like that on my knee since i was little! - and ruined my sexy, white, thigh-high stockings with lace trim. argh! my right ankle smarted pretty badly too.

all in all a pretty damn good weekend.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!

CET :o)

kindness via mobile phone

okay, so my story involves a man...a seventy year-old man! i know you may be thinking "geez CET, you sure are bucking your current trend of younger men, eek!" but it's not like that at all. so...

...i was on the bus on tuesday heading down to chelsea to meet business woman for a wander. i fell asleep during the journey, knackered as i was; when i came to i looked at the seat beside me and saw a mobile phone - it must've fell out of someone's pocket as they sat next to me. i got off the bus as i saw a gentleman get off too who i thought was the one sat next to me. i ran after him and asked if it was his phone but he said no! hmmm, so what now?

i met up with business woman and we examined the phone; it had some phone numbers (probably important to the owner) taped to the back of the phone. it was also in a clear case with a slip of paper tucked inside; i opened it up and written in pencil were instructions on how to turn the phone on and off. clue: owner of phone is not a tech-savvy person.

i concluded from the various clues that this phone must belong to a man, and an older man at that; it looked like a mobile phone that an elderly person would have - like my grandma's phone! sure enough i was right, after calling one of the numbers and having the woman tell me that it was indeed an elderly man's phone. he called me later and we arranged to meet the next day.

i know there is definitely a level of suspicion when it comes to meeting a stranger who "says" it's their phone, so of course we met at king's cross train station in the middle of the afternoon. it was so funny because i was trying to describe to him the night before what i look like so that he could recognise me; he was very hard of hearing and so on a crowded bus while talking to him i'm screaming "i'm chinese! i'll be wearing glasses and a long coat! i'm CHINESE!!!"

i immediately spotted him and knew he was the one because he said he was a seventy year-old black man and he was the only one sitting there at the designated place. he looked so sweet and kind, and while he was a stranger i think your intuition tells you a lot; i came up to him and gave him a big hug. he was so so grateful and kept saying "god bless you; i had given up hope!" i gave him back his phone and we chatted a bit while walking out of the station; turns out he used to work as a promoter of jazz musicians. he didn't have time to tell me about all the places he's been to and the people he's met, but he did invite me to a jazz club this sunday afternoon! i thought it must be serendipity because business woman loves jazz and we had wanted to check a jazz club out.

for those worried about my safety it's okay - the club he told us about is on a major street and c'mon, he's my height and he's seventy, i can take him out if necessary. :o)

so there you go, talk about a funny way of meeting people! i am quite excited about this jazz club and getting to know him better - i'm sure he's got lots of cool stories to share. i mean, can you imagine if he's met and worked with the likes of miles davis and john coltrane??? wow...

CET :o)

i have a story...

but i'll have to blog about it later!

CET :o)

am i that bad?

so i was having a conversation in the kitchen last night with vij and business woman; we were talking about how apparently, my "man-radar" is completely non-existent.

vij says: when a man is attracted to me and sends out signals, i don't seem to pick up on them AT ALL; i automatically assume his signals are due to

a) him just being a friendly guy, and/or
b) he's just joking and doesn't mean it.

i just don't seem to know or aren't aware when someone fancies me. i always conclude that they don't. she says that marvin the martian and i aren't sexual twins because whereas he's completely aware of when girls like him (he just chooses not to do anything), i am completely unaware that men like me, and am actually surprised when i find out they do.

oh, and when a man jokes about marriage with you, is that an obvious sign of attraction? i want to know your opinion.

it's not like i think i'm not worthy of being fancied (on the contrary!), and there have been instances in the past where i knew pretty quickly that someone liked me...perhaps it's just lately? maybe my radar's out of sync and needs to be re-tuned? i don't know.

wow, talk about crap swirling around in your head.

CET :o)

nothing says a good weekend...

...like having to clean someone else's vomit off your flamenco dress the day after a housewarming costume party (the vomit came from some random girl on the bus on the way home, nice);

...like cooking a kick-ass dinner with vij for kiwigirl, her sis and marvin the martian (note: i can cook keema now, and i also share the same inseam measurement as marvin, in addition to being his sexual twin);

...like having business woman arrive in london for two weeks; picked her up and after a rest we went for sausages and mash at S&M cafe (as you do), followed by shopping at spitalfields. coffee shop hottie was working that day but i didn't go inside. it's really damn annoying being a poor student at your most favourite market in the world, but i guess there are worse things. note: had just about the most orgasmic (yes people, ORGASMIC) chocolate brownie in the world - not a word of a lie - rich as hell, moist as fuck, oh yes, OH YES (!!!), my eyes rolled back and CET was somewhere in heaven :o)

pet peeve: the "sprucing up" of camden and spitalfields markets, i.e. let's put all these glass and metal structures up around and in the existing marketspace, thereby killing any grunginess, grimey-ness, atmosphere and general CHARACTER that was what made these places beautiful. ARGH! modern architecture is nice but it has no place in markets over a hundred years old.

back to my lab write-up!

CET :o)

book, phone and beauty

book: so i ended up choosing option number 1 - girlwithaonetrackmind's book signing in angel. i got to the bookstore a bit early and so bought the book and read for a bit. in all honesty i must say i like her blog much better than the book so far, but i will hold off on judgement until i'm done. she read a few passages from her book and then answered some questions before signing; i thought it hilarious that they put her right beside the children's section of the bookstore - it is a sex memoir, after all - but she handled the evening with humour, grace and charm. and i must say, she is quite beautiful - not in the boring, skinny, archetype-of-beauty-thrust-in-your-face-by-the-media-way - but in a wonderfully curvaceous, real-woman way. she has really nice breasts!

i did speak to her when she signed my book; i have a tendency to clam up and come across like a total idiot in front of famous/semi-famous people, but i did manage to squeak out my name (which she thought was pretty) and congratulate her on her success and how she's managed being "outed" by the media very well. i hope i didn't sound too stupid!

went to kiwigirl's for a debrief afterwards, then headed home for dinner...

phone: after my dinner of a turkey ham and pickle sandwich along with some weetabix (dinner of champions), i thought i'd surpise a friend in t.o. by calling her out of the blue. she was at work (poor girl, spending every night this week at work until 10pm or later!) - she told me to hold on for a second and then suddenly, a deep, male voice came on the phone and said "hello?" it was office boy! my first reaction was to laugh and laugh and laugh - he was a tad bit confused, as he didn't recognize my laugh - so i said "it's me you idiot." we then had a pretty good chat, of which i'm very happy about.

beauty: i don't know what it is, but london seems very beautiful today. i woke up to clouds and rain, but it cleared by the time i left the house. the mottled clouds, in various shades of grey, against a background of emerging blue sky and sunshine, really struck me as i walked to my bus stop.

my bus route to school takes me through the heart of the financial district; a huge flock of pigeons flew by as i passed by the royal exchange. the arc of the birds' flight, to the top of the exchange with its victorian architecture, made for a dazzling sight.



CET :o)

realization

i spent the entire afternoon yesterday at the coffee shop admiring my hottie (discreetly of course - well at least i hope so). oh, and have a cuppa with my evil hypnotist.

when i first got there it was pretty quiet; i thought this would be the perfect opportunity to chat him up and perhaps ask him out. it then dawned on me (i'm not sure why i didn't realise it before) that if anything were to happen and if it all turned to shit, i wouldn't be able to go back to my favourite coffee shop anymore! the horror! i guess this means i will be but a distant admirer from now on.

i think it's illegal to have such gorgeous brown eyes as his. mmm, mocha sweetness...

so many things i could do today; girlwithaonetrackmind is having a booking signing and i really want to go...classmate T invited me to drinks with some of her old work colleagues...whitechapel art gallery is open late on thursdays with free admission too...forro night is tonight as well...what should CET do? it's like those old "choose your own adventure" books - what will happen next? only you can decide...

CET :o)

one lap, two lap...

marvin the martian bailed on running last night and kiwigirl wanted to run later than usual, so i ended up doing laps around the park in front of my school for about forty minutes last night! i must say i'm pretty proud of myself for having that much discipline :o). i alternated between running a few laps and walking a few laps - definitely more my pace and my style. and i didn't hurt so much today, yay!

okay, so i caved and e-mailed office boy again. he sent me an e-mail right before i left canada that kind of did my head in; i sent a reply and have not heard from him since. i e-mailed him yesterday just letting him know how i was and asking how he was doing, i mean, he did say he was looking forward to hearing about me and london, right? sigh. it's times like these that i wish i could bundle up all my emotions and throw them in the garbage can!

off for home as my landlord's coming by with my new curtains. no more changing in the living room!

CET :o)

wine, women (men too) and song

what a weekend!

friday: caught up with my lovely evil hypnotist before checking out his friend's band, pieces of mary. highlight: a rowdy rock n' roll rendition of marvin gaye's "i heard it through the grapevine". sweet.

saturday: afternoon exploration of brick lane (lamb keema, mmm) and a tea stop at my favourite coffee house in spitalfields. no coffee shop hottie that day. evening was spent at kiwigirl's; we had a classic girls' night in. watched "bridget jones' diary" (a perennial favourite) and "how to lose a guy in 10 days" (oh my god that sucked ass so large); much pizza was consumed and much girl talk was exchanged (you think?).

sunday: dinner and a song at sarastro restaurant, an absolutely gorgeous place where a violin quartet and opera singers entertain you while you eat. it was magical! my belly was full of food, my heart full of song, my spirit floating up in the rafters; words don't do it justice so here's a pic from their website:



beautiful, eh?

busy busy week ahead before the arrival of business woman to london on saturday. must get as much as i can done beforehand. am running with kiwigirl and marvin today too - hopefully today's run will be better than last week's!

CET :o)

your forro or mine?

so apparently i can pick up forro better than i can pick up capoeira.

it wasn't as raunchy like lambada as i thought it would be, though i'm sure you can take it that far. it was really fun learning and my instructor and his band played magnificently.

diss: so i was listening to the music and loving it, and really wanting someone to ask me to dance. i thought "what the hell, i'll just ask a stranger," and so asked a gentleman that i had seen dancing earlier that i thought would be nice enough to dance with a beginner like me. OH NO GIRLFRIEND, i got rejected!!! he mumbled something about not feeling well, though later on he was dancing happily with someone more experienced. WHATEVER YOU FORRO SNOB!

later on a guy asked me to dance, and we danced several times. he was a very good teacher and i picked it up easily after dancing with him for a while. it is good fun and the forro style itself is more laidback and relaxed compared to its salsa cousin.

comparison: CET gets rejected by Mr. Forro Snob; vij gets picked up by the best dancer in the room. sigh. she was in a trance watching him bust his moves - i guess it paid off because he soon crossed the room and asked her to dance!

anyhoo, it was a brilliant night filled with great music and fancy dance moves - i'm definitely going again next thursday.

CET :o)

tartar and forro

now that i have to blog from school, i wonder if the people sitting beside and around me in the computer lab will notice what i'm doing, and log onto my blog site after i've left...

had lunch today with old flatmate S - she's cool to hang out with now that i don't have to live with her boyfriend, ugh. we had fish and chips at a local cafe, with homemade tartar sauce, mmm...i think that's my favourite thing about eating fish and chips, the tartar sauce! i dip both the fish and the chips in it - i swear i eat more sauce than anything else.

i borrowed a can opener from a neighbour downstairs the other day, when i realised we don't have one at the flat; must get a can opener on the way home today.

my capoeira instructor's playing with his band (i think?) at a brazilian night at a bar on brick lane tonight; they have classes beforehand on a dance known as forro. apparently this dance is danced in pairs, so we shall see who i end up with as a partner! i just googled forro under "images" - it looks like some form of sexy dance, like lambada! eek!

CET :o)

resuming the fancy

my academic tutor gave a lecture to my class today - he is such an engaging lecturer, and i'm not saying this because i fancy him - and then i saw him for a brief chat afterwards. sigh. he has a framed photo on his wall of him playing sports back in the day when he was young and dapper - hot damn, he had a nice set of pipes - there were four gentlemen in the picture and i asked "which one is you?" to which he replied "isn't it obvious? the good-looking one." then i said "no, it's not obvious at all!" :o)

wednesdays are half-days at school; i've been out of class since 1pm. i have capoeira at 6pm so i stayed at school and did some homework (wow!). i'm getting my internet fix now as vij and i decided not to get internet at home until the new year.

hey, i took some pictures of our flat! check it out:



that's my room!



the kitchen (the lighting's a little dim and it looks a bit small, but i like it!)



the bathroom (great power shower although it doesn't look it)



the living room (along with my drying laundry - like the sushi pjs?)

CET :o)

pant pant

ran with marvin, kiwigirl and one of their colleagues yesterday. holy mother.

i think i did pretty well as i haven't ran like that in ages; we ran for about 35 minutes during which i stopped 4 times, each time for a couple of minutes. pretty good considering we were going at a pretty brisk pace (well, brisk for me). i'm quite proud of myself! thanks be to marvin and kiwigirl for letting a slow-poke like me run with them and for being so encouraging, even if i walked up the hill at the end instead of running up it. :o)

when i went back to my locker to get my stuff there was a guy standing there; he asked me how to use the lockers (coin deposit system) and so i showed him. i think he was trying to pick me up because he tried to make conversation, asking me if i was coming from aerobics class or something; i was looking so nasty, my face all red and my clothes all soaked from sweat, i just told him i went running with friends then grabbed my stuff and left. i know i should've been friendlier, and i think it's pretty cool that as gross as i was feeling and looking i was still being picked up, but i felt as though i was going to keel over and didn't have enough energy to form words that would make up a decent conversation. next time i'll be more prepared!

and i don't know if i've mentioned this in a previous post or not, but i love london the most when it's nighttime. we ran along the embankment by the river and the view was gorgeous, the buildings and trees all lit up, twinkling like thousands of stars on earth. riding the bus at night, you can fully appreciate the varied architecture in the city, and in general the feeling is more peaceful and calm. here are some pics:



see what i mean? i can see the rocket-like building (aka "the gherkin") from my bedroom window.



hungerford bridge near the southbank (imagine my sweaty self running along this bridge).

CET :o)

p.s. both images are courtesy of www.imagelondon.com.

gobble gobble run run

HAPPY THANKSGIVING CANADA!!!

i will be celebrating thanksgiving today by going on a run with kiwigirl and marvin the martian. yes i know, i'm CRRRRRAZY! all i have to say is "help me" - i'll be happy just keeping up with them half of the time.

the flamenco party i went to with gabby last night wasn't as good as i thought. we got there near the end - the musicians only performed two more songs (for sevillanas) and then they turned on the latin music - not flamenco at all! oh well, at least gabby and i got to dance a little bit of flamenco before it was all shakira and gypsy kings. we really miss our flamenco teacher, who moved back to spain last year.

okay, i should really get some studying done before going running. wish me luck!

CET :o)

p.s. check out this article forwarded to me by a friend - scientific study or not, i think it's leaning slightly on the bullcrap side...

sexual twin

so apparently i have more than one twin; it appears that i have a "sexual twin" in the form of marvin the martian!

vij and i had dinner last night with kiwigirl, her sister, and marvin. as always the topic of the evening was sex; marvin and i were recounting some of our respective stories and it seems as though we're pretty similar in many respects when it comes to relationships, dating and sex. i won't go into exactly what was said, but marvin made the "sexual twin" comment and it made me laugh.

thinking about it on the bus ride home, i didn't know whether having a "sexual twin" was a good thing or a bad thing. i guess it's not anything really, just an observation. he's my sexual doppleganger if you will.

at one point we went around the room and everyone had to state the most important physical feature they notice about someone (other than the eyes, because EVERYONE ALWAYS says eyes), and then state the most important non-physical feature they notice. here they are in no particular order - can you guess who said what?

1. smile; intelligence
2. broad chest; a touch of arrogance
3. butt; sense of humour
4. skinniness; geekiness
5. thigh-to-butt ratio; a touch of bitch

well, you can figure who said number 5... :o)

other notes: capoeira - holy mother i was in pain the next day but man, was it fun! i'm really rusty and will have to re-learn some of the moves, but i enjoy it very much! i'm already looking forward to this wednesday's class, plus the brazilian night down on brick lane on thursday that my instructor's a part of.

post-grad party at vij's school - it was good times! we were packed liked sardines in this tiny underground bar; there was dancing (which i was happy about) and although i was sore from capoeira, i did get my groove on pretty well, as evidenced by the fact that one of vij's new-found friends commented "you've got the moves, girl, you've got the moves!!!"

e-mail's brief stopover in london - it was sooooo good to see her, albeit briefly. we went to a breakfast place renowned for its bread (le pain quotidien), then stopped in a chocolate shop afterwards (rococo chocolates) and bought some truffles. particular favourites included the chili chocolate truffle, and the gin and lemon truffle. funny moment: we stopped in the middle of the street to savour the truffles, then realised we were standing in front of the london diabetes centre! e-mail took a picture of me gorging on truffles in front of the diabetes sign.

exhale...i feel a lot better now having blogged...all this stuff i wanted to get out but didn't have the time or the internet access to do so! ahhh...

CET

p.s. kiwigirl made an excellent roast last night - yes, she really can cook! :o)

happy 1st birthday!

it was a year today that i decided to start this blog. i hope it has provided some sort of humour/entertainment/insight to anyone who has stop by to read it, whether everyday (thanks loyal readers!) or just once. as always, i am open to suggestions/criticisms of any kind, as long as they're constructive!

oops, tutorial starts now! will try to blog more later!

THANK YOU!!!
CET :o)

the skies are gonna clear up...

hi ho, hi ho, it's off to job hunt i go...

in the computer lab at the moment...should be printing off my resume/CV but am blogging instead.

today i woke up and it felt like a good day; just feeling a bit more refreshed and ready to tackle the world. i hope this feeling lasts!

ran into my academic tutor today, prof b. still very good-looking, yet over-worked as usual. it's funny because everyone that knows about my crush doesn't think he's handsome at all...what does that say about my tastes??? oh well, we'll have to see what happens (if anything) this year! i think i'm destined to be only an admirer.

sue: ha ha ha, i'd like to know what kind of stripper names you'd come up with for me - what would be yours, hmmm???

jason: i'm not as good at capoeira as you are at your breakdancing, so i think our initial face-off you'd win hands down. give me time jason, give me time...

styxxx: capoeira (pronouced 'cap-oh-where-ah', sort of) is a form of brazilian dance/martial arts. it's kind of hard to explain, best to google it.

pretty busy the rest of the week - capoeira tonight, a party at vij's school thursday, e-mail's stopping over on her way to south africa on saturday, dinner on saturday night with kiwigirl and marvin the martian, then a flamenco party with gabby on sunday. where is there time to do homework?

CET :o)

everything's harder

folly after folly of errors, whether it be finding a flat, securing a flat, setting up a landline, even catching the bus to get to school on time...NOTHING has been easy so far, sheesh...oh, and i found out yesterday that the part-time pharmacy job i thought i had when i came back is no longer mine...long story...gotta find a job and find it STAT. i can understand why women turn to stripping to make rent... :o(

school's going well, though i'm already up to my neck in homework. i'm excited about this year though because the topics we're covering sound so interesting and it's just better than first year.

i'm going to try a capoeira class tomorrow - i used to do it a few years ago, and have been itching to take it up again - i'm excited!

CET

move in, moving up

holy shit. it's been a crazy three days.

flat: dealing with letting agents (i.e. real estate agents) suck. i went through enough stress and drama with ours on friday and saturday (i will not get into it here, too much bitching and typing required); moved in on sunday and that's all that matters. i love our new place! really feels like a home.

funny: i live near curry house central (brick lane) but guess who i have at home to make me the best indian food? vij! it's awesome - our first dinner at the flat was a yummy rice/lentil concoction and a potato dish - three helpings later i was a happy CET.

school: crazy first day, but that's to be expected. this year is about applying myself - for real this time! it was great to see everyone and get back into the swing of things.

matchmaking take two: didn't end up making it to the pharmacy to meet my elusive match, will do so today...

will blog more when i can!
CET :o)

matchmaking

so i'm at the same pub as i was last night, using their free internet - again. gotta mooch where necessary!

handed over a huge amount of money to pay for the deposit and first month's rent today, that really hurt. being poor sucks ass! i will try not to complain though, as i am living in a great city and am privileged enough to get an education.

so one of the managers at the pharmacy where i work part-time has been rentless in his matchmaking for me; all last year he was trying to set me up with another part-timer that worked a different day than me. i humour my manager because he is just so sweet and nice about it and is a pleasure to work with, but i don't know about this whole matchmaking business. anyway, i'm to head over to the pharmacy this afternoon to say hello to my manager as well as my match, as he is working today. maybe we'll hit it off but for some reason i doubt it. oh well, no harm in trying i guess!

i'm off to my lovely coffee shop near spitalfields this afternoon with vij - i want to show her my favourite place, as well as check out whether coffee shop hottie is still there. it's funny, reading my blog you'd think all i do here in london is blog and check out boys! sad, but slightly true...

CET :o)

proof that i am a geek

right now it's almost 8pm on a thursday night; i am in a bar with vij and guess what i'm doing? blogging. using their free wireless internet access to my heart's delight. yes, i am a geek.

great news: we found a flat!!! it's more expensive than what we budgeted but then again, what in london isn't? it's pretty close to school so we save on transport costs, and it's in a great part of town with AWESOME market shopping (and you know how i love market shopping). we're also near brick lane, a famous street full of indian curry houses and a lively atmosphere. we move in this sunday!

okay okay, must get off the computer and drink my gin and tonic and meet people (under vij's orders).

CET :o)

vij is here!

good day: vij arrived today! it's SOOO nice to have a friend from home here - not that i don't love my friends here, i do! - but i've known vij since my university days in waterpoo, when life was innocent (soon to be not-so-innocent) and crazy, and we were young and stupid. we would always have the best chats too - not just girl talk (though that's pretty important) but also political issues, world events, debates, our respective immigrant experiences, stuff like that. good times also included watching "america's next top model" while drinking wine and smoking a doobie.

so-so day: day two of flat hunting and i'm already starting to feel frustrated and drained; a hole in the ground sounds positively luxurious right about now, as long as i can afford it and move into it right away. we have second dibs on a flat that i saw yesterday - first dibs go to a mother with a child and a nanny - it would weigh on my conscience if they were left homeless! i do secretly hope though that she'll say no so that we can have it. fingers and toes are crossed.

my favourite quote (courtesy of office biatch):

"be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."

Theodor Seuss Geisel (Dr. Seuss)

goodnight!
CET :o)

it wouldn't be london without the rain

holy torrential downpour batman! seriously. jeans were soaked from the cuffs to my ass. and my ass is not droopy. and that was WITH an umbrella.

flat hunting day one: saw an okay place, a studenty place, then a really great place but a bit far for my liking. i was in the greenwich area around lunchtime so i stopped for a lovely helping of pie in my most favourite place in london after the coffee shop near spitalfields - well, they're more tied for first but anyway - goddard's pie house near the cutty sark. mmm mmm mmm, chicken and mushroom pie with a side of mash and near waterfall of gravy. the mash was a little bland today but the pie was oh so good. their desserts are where it's at though; a blackcurrent and apple pie, along with a rhubarb pie, made its way home with me today (they will be gone as soon as i am done this post).

walking in the rain, though wet, is thoroughly enjoyable; it was one of the things office boy and i had in common. oh office boy, sigh. i really need to move on - seriously! and canuckian, don't leave a comment like "yeah get over him, for real!" because I KNOW! love and miss you canuckian :o)

okay, i've been staring at the computer for long enough, willing an email from office boy to appear. off to eat pie.

holy, the torrential rain is starting up again! it's SO loud, banging on the windows!

CET :o)

the adventure begins

plane ride: smooth and uneventful - just the way i like it! as per usual i barely got any sleep but i didn't mind; we were flying amongst the stars and i thought it funny that you could see them above the wing but not below the wing. speeding through cotton candy clouds in the morning when the sun broke was cool too; i'll never tire of seeing streaks, wisps and billows of fluffiness as far as the eye can see.

the journey from aiport to final destination is always tiresome and gruelling. i should've asked someone to come meet me at the airport to share the burden that is all my crap but i didn't; my muscles will pay for that decision later.

met up with gabby and it was a joyous reunion! i love how girl talk starts IMMEDIATELY, and exactly where we left off when i left england back in june. dumped my stuff at her place, rested a bit, then off to the S&M cafe for an all-day english breakfast and a much-needed cup of tea. yeah i know, how british of me! the weather here in londontown is gorgeous (surprise surprise!); sitting with gabby at the cafe, the sun streaming down on the teeming life that is london on a sunday morning, i thought to myself "this feels completely right."

CET :o)

thrown

people surprise you. i've been surprised quite a bit these last two weeks!

people are unpredictable and i love that. that is what makes life exciting.

i have been trying to pack for the last five hours and am not succeeding at all. how can one person have so much crap?

i think the next time you hear from me i will be in londontown!

toronto family and friends: i love you so much and will miss you all dearly.

london family and friends: here i come! can't wait to see you all!

big kiss, MWAH!
CET :o)

pond skipping

many thoughts and emotions are running through my head and heart tonight...in 48 hours i will be leaving on a jet plane, ready to tackle another year of school and general craziness.

high school reunion: it was a lot less painful than i expected! i had a really good time chatting with just about everyone in the room; no one's changed much physically in the last ten years. i don't know what i was expecting but it was quite comforting to see everyone remain relatively the same, perhaps a bit paunchier than the last time i saw them. however, two people saw me and didn't recognize me at all - i wonder what that means? i hope it's a good thing and not a bad thing; my god-awful bangs/fringe are gone so i'll say it's a good thing :o) everyone's doing quite well for themselves, and it was great catching up with them all.

i've spent this week running around town everyday, having lunches, coffees and dinners with friends i haven't seen all year. there never seems to be enough time. when you were young the days stretched on endlessly; now there's always something that needs to get done, someone to see, something on your checklist to tick off, along with the millions of other things that need to get done, people to see, items to check off. growing up and responsibility sucks!

i've been spending the afternoons just wandering around the city, wrapping it around me like a thick, warm blanket. i walk the streets letting the sights, sounds and smells absorb into my skin. i don't want to lose the feeling of my toronto. i know, i know, i'm off to oh-so-exciting london, which it is (!), but my heart belongs here. this feeling has to last me until the next time i'm home, so i'm trying to gather as much of this feeling as i can.

i guess i'm also a little frustrated at how people can find their way under your skin, whether or not you want them there, and try as you might you can't shake loose of them. i don't like knowing someone has a hold over you; they're distant and casually nonchalant while you...you...you wish you were a stronger person.

CET

the details (almost)

so the 'date' went really well on tuesday, i was pleasantly surprised! i met him at work (out of sight of our co-workers, hee hee); we took the subway down to st andrew and had dinner at a little italian bistro somewhere along king. the wine was flowing as was the conversation; i was being really flirty but i didn't care, i mean, why the hell not? as my sister's friend jobyl says in her blog (thegiantisverybig.blogspot.com), it's the SUMMER OF OPPORTUNITY, and now's the time to SEAL THE DEAL!

after dinner we headed to roy thompson hall to watch the film. the director of the film, patrice leconte, and one of the film's two stars, dany boon, were there, and each said a few words before the start of the film. wonderful french accents and very funny. the film itself (mon meilleur ami) was sweet, funny and delightful, with the best ending i've seen in films in a while. i don't know if it'll have a widespread release but if you can see it when it comes out, be sure to! okay, so i know you're reading this post not giving a shit about the film, and are wanting the gory details, right? here it goes...

so after the film he suggested a drink somewhere to top off the evening. it was raining a bit and he was holding my umbrella for me as i held onto his arm; we wandered around the city for a while, looking for a bar and just chatting in the meantime. can i just tell you how romantic the setting was??? walking in the rain, the buildings all lit up, their tops obscured by cloud against a nighttime sky...we wandered amongst some public art pieces and i thought "jesus christ i want to kiss him right now!" but i didn't of course, as there were really no outward signs that he wanted the same. anyhoo...

we found a bar and had a drink; it was during this time that i found out that he refers to me as his 'office wife' - someone you have lunch with, coffee breaks with, who you talk to everyday, and is the first person you turn to when something crappy happens at the office. i thought that was very sweet!

okay, i know you'll all hate me for doing this, but i'm going to end this post here; anyone who wants further details must e-mail me directly! even though this blog is about my life, i want to keep some things private you know! besides, i have to get ready for my ten year high school reunion, EEK! time to put on my 'grosse pointe blank' cd...

CET :o)

well that was unexpected...

before i begin i'd like to welcome the co-workers who are now aware of my blog. no, you are not the only one that knows and yes, i will hunt you down and strangle you if you breathe about this to anyone at work! JC Chavez, Office Biatch and ADD, welcome!

so friday was my last day of work...many drinks were consumed and much merrymaking took place. yes, i did hug my crush really, really tight but no, nothing more happened, until...

...i called him later that night when i was out with some friends who were in town for just the evening - i was asking about directions to a bar that i know he frequents regularly. NO, it wasn't because i wanted to stalk him (i know what you're thinking), it was seriously because i needed to know where to go. anyhoo, at the end of our conversation, out of the blue, he asks if we can hang out before i leave for england. alarms sounded off in my head but i was too tipsy to really react; all i said was "sure, will do, bye!"

so i called him today and we made plans to see a movie (t.o. film fest) on tuesday. it's funny because i thought i was pretty much over him, as i thought i would never see him again after friday night, and nothing had happened up until this point so really, what's the point? now all this has happened and my feelings are flying all over the place, yet again. argh! as Office Biatch said tonight, "can't shake what the heart doesn't want to".

don't worry, i will keep you posted!

in other CET news, this weekend was the GWN dragonboat challenge. have i mentioned before that i paddle? well, saturday was a washout because:

a) i was hungover
b) it was grey, rainy and dreary
c) paddling in crappy weather sucks
d) paddling while hungover sucks even more
e) i was hungover
f) did i mention i was hungover???

we did make up for it today though, as we finished first in our semi-final and then second in our division final, WOOHOO! i am so beat now it's not even funny; we paddled our butts off.

okay, i know this post isn't as witty and funny as my usual stuff (ha ha ha) but i'm sure you can forgive me given my weak physical state. must go to bed and dream of what might happen on tuesday...

CET :o)

rainy day observation

today was a thoroughly rainy day. non-stop, whether it be a downpour or a sprinkle.

spent most of today doing absolutely nothing. watched the prison break episode my dad taped for me this week - wentworth miller, mmm mmm good... :o)

made the observation that a rainy day like today is the perfect weather to spend all day in bed with someone. if only we could bypass the commute to that person's bed, or vice versa...poof! he or she instantly appears on your bed, ready to while away the hours with you.

ended up at vaughan mills mall in the evening with my grandma, cousins and aunt. went on a slight shopping spree and bought a few tops and some cds - my excuse is that it's 'back to school'. bought cesaria evora's cafe atlantico; am quite excited to put it on.

happy events occurring tomorrow:

- the parental unit are driving down to DC to pick up canuckian
- i'm going to the cne with brown goddess and soo-c
- muttonface is in town (yay!) and we're meeting up later tomorrow night
- gluttony awaits in the food building - bring on the pulled pork sandwich, jerk chicken dinner, beavertail, chicken wings, tiny tom donuts, columbian coffee from the international building, dried mango, cotton candy, and any other food stuff that i can fit into my mouth and tummy in one, 24 hour period. BRING IT ON!!!

oh, had a 'hot' date on wednesday with closednode, the 'hot' part being dinner at the hot house cafe at church and front, ha. yes, the gnocchi was delicious. want to write more but feel like i can't!

dreaming of tiny toms,
CET :o)

lots

i'm in a weird kind of mood today; this weekend is the first weekend since the summer started in which i do not have anything planned, AT ALL. not a single thing scheduled. a part of me is happy because i finally get to relax; another part of me feels restless, like i should be doing something, keeping busy, distracting myself from my thoughts. i don't like the fact that i feel like this.

i've been reading william leith's 'the hungry years; the confessions of a food addict'; it was published last summer and i had bought it then for the plane ride to london; needless to say i didn't read much of it on the plane or even off, so here i am a summer later finally getting my nose into it. it's a great book so far; it details his life of binge eating and yo-yo dieting, not to mention the drugs, alcohol and sex. written in a stream-of-consciousness style that's actually not annoying to read, i find the way he thinks about food absolutely fascinating. click here to read an interview he did with the observer.

developments in the 'crush' saga:

a) i slapped his bum this week (very 'cheeky' of me, i know); damn, he has got a NICE ass.
b) i found out the girl he's 'sort of' seeing actually does exist and - get this - she's asian, like me. fuck.
c) he flirts like a friggin' mofo...girlfriend or not, he'll flirt with anything that moves.
d) i hate the fact that i'm one of the people he flirts with, and the fact that i enjoy it.

last week my family and i were at a neighbourhood chinese restaurant having peking duck (yes, it was orgasmic); we were reminiscing about when we first moved to canada and were living in my aunt's house in downtown toronto. canuckian and i were young then, only 3 or 4; my mom was recounting how we were bawling, kicking and screaming at the top of our lungs when they brought us to daycare for the very first time. the daycare was located at the end of our street, only a few steps from our house but man, did we cause a ruckus or what, so much so that before our second day of daycare, they got us all dressed and ready to go the night before so when we woke up the next day they could just pick us up and run to the daycare before we had a chance to put up a fight!

other memories:

- the room we shared with our two cousins, complete with star wars curtains, sheets and comforters;
- the creak of the stairs and the long wooden bannister;
- the best porch in the world, with it's many layers of grey paint;
- skipping rope on the street in front of our house;
- going to the one chinese restaurant we always went to, all the time, with its little garden and fountain in front;
- buying the fake plastic gold rings with the fake gems made especially for little girls like me, in the convenience store next door to the restaurant;
- feeling like a million bucks wearing a fake gold ring, complete with adjustable band;
- eating my favourite donut, hawaiian, in my aunt's kitchen;
- chewing away all the sprinkles and leaving the donut part for my aunt to eat.

CET :o)

my crush proposed to me...sort of

no he wasn't on bended knee and no, he did not have a diamond ring, but i said yes! let me explain:

we had lunch together this week and after lunch we were walking around when he said he wanted to check out an event space in our building - apparently it's suppose to be very pish posh and beautiful. on our way there we realized we had to come up with a reason/lie in order to be allowed in; i said we should pretend we're here on behalf of our company, looking into event spaces for a corporate function. he agreed with me but then after a while he said "we should pretend that we're engaged to be married." WHAT??? i laughed and asked if this meant that i'd have to convert to his religion, or whether he should convert to mine.

we finally got to the floor where the elevator up to the event space was located. we entered the elevator (we were the only ones) and pressed the button; the doors closed and then...nothing. we weren't moving, but the doors weren't opening! we were laughing and pressing all the buttons, trying to get something to work; we were also wondering how we would explain this to our co-workers when we got back. if i was more suave i would've said something suggestive, which would have led to him grabbing me, pushing me up against the wall and kissing me passionately (ha ha, in my fantasies!), but i am about as suave as an acne-infested, pre-pubescent nerd, and it didn't even DAWN on me to saying something like that, so we continued to laugh and press buttons instead. he then mentions that i don't have a diamond ring on my left ring finger so we might not be able to pass it off; again i made a joke of the situation and said "what, no diamond? what kind of a girl do you think i am?" we then tried the 'door open' button again and the elevator doors finally parted. sigh.

yes i know, i said i wouldn't post anything about him unless it was a significant development, but don't you think a proposal of marriage is?

CET :o)

there goes the bride

mr. bing is married now.

my calves ache from all the dancing :o)

it was a wonderful day! the weather was beautiful, but i think that's because the omnipotent being upstairs would have incurred mr. bing's wrath if it didn't produce a lovely day. seriously.

the bride looked resplendent in her gown, the bridesmaids pretty in a rainbow of pastel, the groom and groomsmen dapper in their tuxedos. my heart was full and my eyes slightly red as she walked down the aisle; i kept thinking "wow, this is it! mr. bing's getting married!" my next thought was to the reading that canuckian and i would do, corinthians 13. my heart was going a mile a minute and practically leaping out of my chest as i climbed the stairs to the podium. the reading went well though i think, judging from mr. bing's reaction and the compliments we received at the reception. we proved everyone wrong too by not laughing during the reading (did i mention it before, the fact that we were afraid we would laugh because of the scene in "the wedding crashers" featuring the reading from corinthians?).

the reception was good fun too; in order to get the bride and groom to kiss, each table had to come up with either a poem, song or haiku. i made up a poem that went down well with the crowd i think! the food was yummy (lovely mushroom soup, mmm); instead of a wedding cake they had a four-tier cupcake cascade! mr. bing doesn't know this (until now, hahaha) but when brown goddess, canuckian, gymstar and i were arranging the cupcakes on the tiered serving tray that morning, brown goddess and i each had a cupcake! what can i say, there was a surplus! mmm, very tasty...

the dancing started and it was what i was looking forward to all evening; classic songs from our childhood/teenage/university years plus a few recent hits - where else can you get new kids on the block, rob bass, salt n' pepa, spirit of the west and black eyed peas, all in one place? canuckian and i danced solidly for three hours, hence the achy calves today.

thoughts: i'm very happy for mr. bing and her now husband, though i must admit it feels weird, as she is the first of my close friends to get married. it's kind of like when you finish elementary school and start junior high, or from junior high to high school; things change, people change, you change, and while i do welcome change and embrace it when it comes, sometimes it's a hard pill to swallow.

CET

p.s. the only time i cried that day was when mr. bing was dancing with her father to louis armstrong's "it's a wonderful world"! it was just soooooo sweet and made me think of my daddy. :o)

wanted to jot this down...

- funny cottage moment: all of us were in the water and we were playing this game where one person would grab your left foot, another person would grab your right foot, and then the two people would launch you out of the water, causing you to fly through the air and into the water like a canonball. mr. bing and her brother's fiancee were trying to launch her brother out of the water, which was hard to do considering he's a tall, strapping lad. they each had one of his legs in hand; i wade over to help them out and the brother says "what the hell are you going to hold on to?" it was tooooooo funny...

- on the radio on the way home the dj was saying how the film editors at 'america's next top model' have to go through 200 hours of footage to put together a 41 minute show - if that's not what hell is like then i don't know what is...

- there was an extremely pushy, mean and bitchy woman on the subway today, barrelling through people, stepping on toes and not apologizing, muttering under her breath, that sort of thing. she stood beside me and when the seat in front of me became free, she proceeded to squish into it while i was in the process of sitting down, thereby causing me to sit on her lap. i turn around and do you know what i said to her? 'do you HAVE to be such a bitch?' she simply says 'yes', all the while avoiding eye contact. i could've made a scene and yelled at her some more but it wouldn't have done any good; she's just one of those people that go through life angry with everyone and everything. all the people on the subway glowered at her as they were annoyed with her too, and when i said what i said to her the gentleman beside me looked at me and smiled.

CET

cottage shenanigans/mani-pedi cherry plucked!

NOTE: this post was started on monday night but finished on wednesday night - the date for this post should therefore be wednesday!

business woman took canuckian and i to a nail salon today after work - it was my first manicure and pedicure, ever! the manicurist said i had nicely shaped nails and i was chuffed. my toes have never looked better! the three of us went to a local pub afterwards for some bangers and mash and a pint of beer. thanks be to business woman!

this 'mani/pedi' session is all in preparation for mr. bing's wedding this saturday...it is going to be absolute madness but more importantly, GOOD TIMES! mr. bing informed me of the 'must play' song list that she put together and i am SOOO excited it's ridiculous! shoop, do bee doop, do bee doop...

canuckian and i went to mr. bing's parents' cottage this weekend, along with mr. bing and her man, mr. bing's brother and his fiancee, and mr. bing's parents, the oh-so-awesome Mr. Shriner and his wife, Onesie. we swam everyday, played schoolyard games in the water (like spud, monkey in the middle, red rover, duck duck goose - remember those?), board games on land (i won monopoly, yeah!), ate when we were hungry (can we say 'oatmeal squares'?), slept when we were tired, roasted weiners and marshmallows over the campfire, took a ride on Mr. Shriner's motor boat...it was, as always, happy and memorable.

we go to mr. bing's cottage every year for our ritual known as the 'cottage reconnaissance'. i feel like this yearly pilgrimage acts like a life marker - it chronicles the passing of time, the onset of age, of life itself - perhaps this is why i always feel a bit melancholy when i arrive home from the cottage, like the feeling of homesickness only it's not home you miss, but what once was. i think mr. bing's wedding will be a pretty big life marker too. to think i've known this girl since grade 5, and now i'll be reading at her wedding...i'm very glad to have a friend like mr. bing.

i wish i could tell you all the stuff we got up to at the cottage, all the funny, laugh-until-your-belly-hurts type moments, but this entry would be far too long...i feel very blessed to be able to share such good times with people i love!

anyhoo, better end this post before it gets too sappy - goodnight!

CET :o)

evidence i am not a morning person

the skirt i wore yesterday was on backwards, as was my shirt today. when did i notice? when i got home from work, after the day was done. did i myself even notice it? no, my mother and sister did. can you tell from this example that i am not a morning person? yes.

funny thing is a co-worker complimented me on my skirt, even though it was on backwards!

i find this hilarious/telling: canuckian and i ransacked the cupboards tonight for a late-night snack; we came across a box of fortune cookies (i don't even know how we came about these, as you would normally NEVER find fortune cookies in my house) and one of my fortunes tonight (as i ate many) said "you will become better acquainted with a co-worker", HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...don't i wish! that fortune had better come true, and with a particular co-worker, STAT!

CET :o)

onward and upward!

okay, this might disappoint some of you while others may rejoice: i will not be posting about my crush today. in fact, i will not be posting anything until something significant happens, for better or for worse!

tidbits i've been meaning to tell but got sidetracked with the whole crush thing:

- canuckian's home! she arrived yesterday. she'll be home until after mr. bing's wedding, at which point her life is, as of this moment, undecided. i am very glad to have my sister home, not to mention chili's very happy too, as this is the first time since we got him back in december that both of his sisters have been home together. we just finished celebrating the completion of her masters with some cake. congratulations canuckian!!! :o)



- i was wearing my "Rock How To" t-shirt from Threadless one day on the streetcar (see above) when two guys i was standing across from starting to motion to me with their hands. i realized they were both deaf and had noticed my t-shirt. the one guy asked me, through mouthing the words and signing, whether i knew any sign language. i only remember one phrase that brown goddess had taught me when she was learning how to sign, "my name is ________", so i signed it for them and they were very impressed! we then proceeded to fumble through a conversation in sign language and reading lips! i must say i was the one that did most of the fumbling, as they could comprehend me but i couldn't comprehend them very well. we managed to establish each other's names, where we all lived, where we all were heading, why i knew only that one phrase, and the fact that the one guy was flirting with me, saying i had a very pretty smile and a beautiful face :o) it was really cool to be able to converse with them, and lovely that such a random occurence could happen out of the blue.

- mr. bing's stagette party: two words pretty much sum up that evening - MALE STRIPPER. where do i even begin? ahhh yes, we begin with a "fireman" showing up at our door and being led to the bride-to-be to put out her "fire". the stripping music begins and we are treated to quite the show and smell, as this guy must've bathed in his cologne before coming over. PEEEE-YEW! he did his dance around the bride while the rest of us were hooting and hollering and taking pictures. when he was naked except for his g-string (yikes), he then turned to us and proceeded to LAY HIS BODY ON US, one by one, while taking our hands and rubbing them down his chest and smacking his behind. OHHHHHHH MY! then came the full monty, though you couldn't see too much of his bits because he kept hiding behind a little towel. not that i wanted a close up of his bits - he was just a tad too smarmy for my liking! i didn't let him do this to me, but apparently with one of the girls he LAY HIS PENIS ON HER CHEST and gyrated to the music! EEK! one of the other girls and i were clutching each other in half-fear when he came over to us; he proceeded to stand on the sofa, his bits dangling in our faces (though mine was buried in the sofa pillows), swinging his hips to and fro. hmmm...needless to say, by the time he left, each of us had memories (mentally etched and scarred) to last a lifetime :o) oh, and we also had his stench on us too, which i was only too happy to wash off when i got home! GOOOOOD TIMES...

- i'm in pain at the moment because i had my first dragonboat practice on thursday since last year; holy muscle spasm, batman! i was impressed with my stamina (because let's face it folks, CET is not the most active person in the world) but the next day i was feeling it big time. it was even worse the day after that, as business woman and i went to the beaches international jazz festival and proceeded to walk along queen street for three and a half hours. ouch.

- canuckian, brown goddess and i are heading to mr. bing's cottage this coming long weekend, can't wait! our last reconnaissance together before mr. bing becomes a wife :o)

CET

*sigh*

thank you for all your suggestions and advice folks, i really appreciate it!

what am i going to do, you ask? well, some people say that if i tell him how i feel i might be 'burning bridges' so to speak, as things might end up getting really awkward, leaving me without a relationship or even a friendship! muttonface said i should just relax and be myself around him (which i wasn't really, at least not 100%, because of this crush), and get to know him more as a person...things might not work out this summer (or at all in fact), but at least i'll have gained a friend.

we had lunch today and it was nice; we didn't head back up to the office right away but instead walked around downtown a little. i like how we can talk but there are times where we're silent and it's comfortable. perhaps this is a generalization, but i do find that with a lot of guys i've met, they do have a tendency to talk about themselves and never ask questions to the person their speaking to. it's always me asking the questions, creating the conversation, moving it along...maybe it's because i tend to talk a lot while others don't? perhaps they're just narcissistic? can you tell i like using that word, and that this post is starting to sound like crap? i feel like i'm writing in my strawberry shortcake diary from when i was little, spewing nonsense about my silly, schoolgirl crush...must stop before i make myself barf...BLAHHHHH...

i still find myself daydreaming about him for the rest of the day though, sigh...

CET :o)