another one bites the dust

so my "dalliance" with scottish guy is over. i deleted his mobile and landline numbers from my phone today and it was very cathartic for me.

before i launch into what happened, i should start by filling you in on a very important but up until now un-divulged fact: after making out on our second date he informs me that he JUST broke up with his long-distance girlfriend (of THREE YEARS) less than THREE MONTHS AGO! my first reaction was "aren't you heartbroken?" because i would think he would still be hurting at this point, and wouldn't want to be on a date with anyone, let alone kissing them. he kind of brushed it off and said something along the lines of "the breakup was coming and inevitable and we both knew it; it was just a matter of time"; he seemed really non-chalant and quite fine about the situation, so i kind of left it, plus he had to run to catch his train.

now, i'm a pretty straightforward (yes, at times even blunt, tactless even) person, and i really do not understand/have no time for indirectness, innuendo or anything of the sort; if you have something to say you just say it, no beating around the bush. it took up until last week for vij and sue to point out to me that maybe that was his way of telling me that he doesn't want anything serious, and that even though we're kissing, to not get any ideas about starting a relationship. i'm sorry, but what the fuck? who said i had ANY of those expectations? who said i had any expectations to begin with? at that point i was

a) attracted to him (both physically and mentally); and
b) just wanted to continue to date him and see what happens.

oh, and yes, maybe i'm a bit dense for missing that "clue", but why the heck my friends didn't point it out to me earlier is something i'm still trying to figure out! needless to say i gave both vij and sue an earful and told them to point these things out to me in the future as soon as possible! :o)

anyhoo, so after that whole brouhaha occurred where i called him and interrupted him at the art gallery, i emailed him the next day basically saying to call me when he's free. he replied to my email three days later and since then, nada. that was two weeks ago.

two weeks without a peep pretty much tells me he's not into me, or is scared; whatever the reason, he doesn't want to see me again. it hurt me and disappointed me; i think the feeling of disappointment was worse, as i thought he was a better person than to just ignore me - i'm a firm believer that even if you think the truth hurts, the avoidance of truth hurts even more. everyone told me to move on, but muttonface, a self-proclaimed softy, said i should try to call him one more time, put in that last bit of effort, so i can say without a doubt that i tried, and would have no "what if's" floating around in my head, no regrets. i thought this was reasonable.

so tuesday night i called his cell - switched off; his landline - not home. i tried both numbers again last night, and no one answered either line. that's it, i'm done, hence deleting both his numbers today.

i was talking to a male friend of mine and he said that from what he could gather from this blog, he thought i was "too aggressive", and that i took away scottish guy's chance to "chase" me. i'm pretty sure my male friend doesn't believe this crap for a second (i hope not!), but he pointed out that this is what other men may think. he also said that my one extra phone call that saturday (where i interrupted him at the art gallery) was too much, too "stalkerish", and might have scared scottish guy off. this is what i think:

do i really want to date a guy where one "extra" phone call has him running for the hills? ummm, no.

it's funny because there were moments where i was racked with self-doubt; is it me? is there something wrong with me? was i too forward? too honest? too geeky? not sexy enough? that self-doubt was obviously short-lived (hehehe), because at the end of the day i want to date someone wants to be with ME, and that includes all my faults (along with all the oh-so fabulous things about me). if he can't see that he's missing out on an awesome person well then i say TOUGH SHIT. :o)

oh, and i didn't want to be catty or mean so i didn't include this other fact until now (hehehe): he was a really horrible kisser! i can't even begin to describe what he did with his tongue but trust me, you do not want to witness or experience it. ever. bad kissing is a post (a few posts) in and of itself but let me leave you with this: how can someone come out of a THREE YEAR RELATIONSHIP and can't kiss for shit??? i know i know, to each his own but still, that was wacked.

CET :o)

my day off

here's the richard serra sculpture near liverpool street station, just a half hour walk from my flat.

yes i did go to the coffee shop and yes i had a brief verbal exchange with CSH and one of his co-workers actually (in which i might've slightly flirted), but no i will not say anything until i have indeed gotten his name and/or have asked him out!

wandered around spitalfields afterwards (as per usual) and visited my favourite gallery at the moment, kinetica. viewed their latest exhibition and absolutely loved it - this really is art from and for the 21st century. check out the link for more on their "luminaries and visionaries" show.

had dinner tonight at classmate T&A's place; T cooked yummy yummy chinese food and my belly was happy happy for it.

today was exactly what my soul needed.

CET :o)

sleepy

my tulips are in bloom! so lovely...

it's almost 2am; vij brought some friends home and we watched an ultra-cheesy yet classic hindi film from the 70's, hilarious. they're still watching it actually; i'm tired and want to go to bed, yet here i am blogging.

before they came home i watched "message in a bottle" (kevin costner, robin wright-penn) on tv. some of the scenes were definitely barf-worthy (like when they were having sex) but funny enough when costner's character died i was peeved; i caught myself actually wanting the hollywood ending!

i want to write more but my brain's too muddled to find the right words. much to sort out in this cranium of mine.

i don't have any classes tomorrow, woohoo! i think a trip to the coffee shop is in order, followed by dinner at classmate T's.

goodnight/good morning,
CET :o)/:o(

psychoanalysis sucks

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! MAY YOU BE BLESSED WITH HEALTH, HAPPINESS, WEALTH AND PROSPERITY IN THE YEAR OF THE PIG!!!

so canuckian left london yesterday. it was soooooo good to have her here for the week, i can't even tell you; we hung out, did a little bit of touristy stuff but not much, and just generally revelled in each other's company. i'm so glad she got to meet my school friends and check out where i live, experiencing a little of what my life is like here. i miss her already.

vij and i had an epic discussion about me and men last night; i'm exhausted. i don't even know how we got on the topic but it was brutal, in the sense that you're asked questions that force you to really look at yourself and delve deep for answers as to why you do the things you do and why you think the way you think. what emerged were the following points:

- i sell myself short when i really shouldn't
- i (think? still debating this) i want a relationship but don't think i can give it 100% at this point
- i don't want a fling (although it can be convenient at times)
- i deserve better!
- i don't like how i've been handling this whole scottish guy thing...mentally and emotionally, i'm turning into someone i don't like
- i'm much too honest and straightforward to play stupid games with men and have no time nor patience to do so, but i think my honesty and bluntness scares them
- i can't read subtle/indirect signs/words AT ALL; just say what you feel and cut all the indirect bullshit
- finding someone you care about that cares for you in return is fucking hard.

i bought myself tulips today to cheer myself up! partly because of this whole stupid boy business but mostly because i miss my sister.

CET :o)

the world is alright again

coffee shop hottie is BACK!

i was having lunch with canuckian and classmate T at the coffee shop and had just bitten into my smoked ham sandwich when the door opens and in he walks, looking as fine as always. i was so shocked (and in mid-bite) that i didn't know what to do; canuckian, being my twin, knew something was up and instantly realized that CSH was in the vicinity, judging by my expression - she looked around and spotted him instantly. what does she do then? he comes over with a plate of food for classmate T and BOOM, she starts talking to him! asks him to take a picture of us as that's what tourists do, take pictures. i was so stunned all i could do was smile for the camera. man, i really have to work on getting his name now, as canuckian and business woman have each individually managed to speak more words to him in five minutes than i have in over a year.

i'm happy though because he's back. exhale...

CET :o)

we are family!

i'm so happy canuckian's here, i can't even tell you! there's nothing like having family here. i love my twin!

CET :o)

don't read this if you're a boy

i just saw some fireworks outside my window...at first i heard them and thought they were gunshots (hahaha, ahhh...), but then when i looked outside i saw all this glorious colour. i don't know why they were being set off, but it was lovely to watch all the same.

i feel kinda bummed today...i called scottish guy to let him know i was back from my trip; he said he wanted to meet when i got back. our conversation was fine, funny and flowing as always, but then he said he was "fully booked up" this weekend and how about this coming week? i told him canuckian's in town as of monday for the week, plus he himself has a relative coming to visit next weekend, so basically we kind of left it for the week after this one.

needless to say i was a bit disappointed, as we haven't met up for over two weeks now. i know, i know, i had exams and then my trip and all, but i was hoping he would be at least a little more keen to meet up, and would've at least had a bit of time this weekend to do so. it's just that in between dates (yes i know, i know, we've only had two but still) he's really not communicative at all, and it's always me sending an e-mail or a text here and there that he then replies to, and not right away either, more like twelve plus hours after the fact. is he just not a prompt e-mailer/texter/responder like myself? am i over-analyzing this? why does he seem so nonchalant about me in between dates, but the dates themselves are so great and i can obviously see that he's really into me? why is it so hard to find someone that likes you as much as you like them and wants to spend time with you?

so later on in the afternoon after our initial conversation, a friend gave me the idea to give him a quick ring and see if he would be free this afternoon for a coffee, seeing as how he his plans were for the evening. i called him but ended up interrupting him at an art gallery; i was so embarrassed i tried to get off the phone as quickly as i could. he said to give him a ring or an e-mail tomorrow but what's the point? I WANT HIM TO RECIPROCATE! PUT IN A BIT OF EFFORT! YOU CALL ME BUDDY, I DESERVE AT LEAST THAT MUCH!

i know i'm female and i obviously can't help it, but i hate it when i reduce myself to that type of female that i hate: neurotic, over-analytical, consumed by boys/a boy and what they think, what they feel, why they do this and why they do that, what does it mean when he does this, blah blah blah BARF. i hate it because more often than not (and if this is a generalization who cares, bite me) the boy in question/analysis isn't thinking ANY of these things, and probably doesn't even think of his actions or the consequences, he just does what he does and there probably isn't even a real reason for doing so, he's just being a boy. i hate thinking and thinking and thinking of possible explanations for said boy's actions when in reality there are no explanations there to be had. argh.

okay, i'm done my emotional purge for the evening, ugh. off to smoke some shisha with the girls.

CET

kissing the welsh in scotland

glasgow: really cool city, completely without pretense or snobbery; it has a character and style all its own, with a pretty vibrant arts and music scene. saw dan sartain at the nice and sleazy - knew nothing about him or his music going into the show, and came out of it pretty impressed - definitely want to go back to glasgow one day.

edinburgh: lovely mix of old town and new town...i've been there before so this trip was just about having a wander and relaxing. was at the pub last night having dinner (haggis of course) when four welshmen in town for the rugby sat beside me and started chatting me up! they plied me with a couple of double gin and tonics and it was fun flirting with them for a while, but then like the good girl i am (most of the time), i made my way home while they went on to the clubs...well, not before kissing each of them in turn goodnight (on their cheeks!).

made the four and a half hour train ride back to london, followed by the hour-long bus ride back to my flat (friday night traffic and all); showered, ate and now i'm so ready for bed (and it's 10pm).

goodnight!
CET :o)

glasgow is feckin' cold...

...but great so far!

left dublin on sunday morning. i woke up with plenty of time to pack and get ready, but then two minutes after i'm out of bed the door buzzer sounds - tan called me a cab and didn't even tell me! her and her man came back from their engagement party saturday night/sunday morning pretty damn pissed, ha ha ha...so here i was, scrambling around throwing my clothes in my backpack, barely having time to get dressed and brush my teeth. oh, and there was a thick fog over dublin where you could barely see two feet in front of you - i wondered how the heck my plane was suppose to fly.

anyhoo, made it to the airport and my plane took off and landed in glasgow no problem. schlepped it to the city centre to meet my friend shirl. pretty much chilled sunday evening as i was a bit hungover myself!

yesterday: on scottish guy's recommendation i started off my day at the university of glasgow, britain's fourth oldest university. beautiful main building with two cloisters in the middle - i felt like i was on the set of "harry potter" or something.

walked through kelvingrove park adjacent to the university - breathed in the crisp, winter air and enjoyed a bit of nature - then off to the city centre. checked out the shopping on buchanan street, then had a lovely afternoon tea at the willow tea rooms, a set of tea rooms around the city designed and decorated by charles rennie mackintosh. my afternoon was spent at the gallery of modern art (GoMA).

today i'm going to try and do a bus tour of the city as well as check out the kelvingrove art gallery and museum. then i'm meeting shirl and going to her tuesday night cooking class with her!

and yes, is friggin' cold here - my fingers are freezing!

pure dead brilliant,
CET :o)

a pint for you and a pint for me...

i'm done exams, woohoo! all in all i think they went well.

busy busy though right after; had lunch at my coffee shop (hottie still wasn't there, i'm getting worried...), a quick wander around spitalfields again and then home to meet evil hypnotist. had a good chat in my room while i was packing for dublin. JUST managed to get to the airport before the check-in desk closed (tip: when travelling to airports around london, ALWAYS give yourself more time than you think you need because trust me, you'll need every second) and then boom, on the plane and an hour later in dublin to meet tan.

slept in today until 1:30pm, it was so sweet. haven't done that in goodness knows how long. didn't do much today, in the car mostly with tan and her man driving around the city. had a yummy portobello mushroom burger at the porterhouse, a brewery as well as a chain of bars. checking e-mail now before heading out drinking with tan and some friends later on tonight. went for a drink last night from the airport too; the irish are serious about their drinking!

scottish guy update: not much to update other than we didn't end up meeting up on tuesday as he was busy and i really needed to study. he wants to see me when i'm back from my travels so i guess we'll see what happens then!

CET :o)

not too bad i think...

wrote the first exam this morning...went pretty well i think! save for a few muck-ups here and there i answered pretty much everything in full. hand was cramping up a few times, there's that much writing to be done, but i feel good about it!

headed to my coffee shop afterwards for a long, relaxing lunch. a cause for alarm (somewhat): coffee shop hottie wasn't working today, and i noticed they had put up a "help wanted" sign - i hope this doesn't mean he's left??? will have to go back a few more times to see if this is indeed the case...

wandered around spitalfields for a bit before walking home. i wish i could describe to you what living in east london feels like; books like "brick lane" by monica ali, "salaam brick lane" by tarquin hall, or "the east end" by alan palmer try to invoke the sights, sounds and smells of the community but i say you just have to come here and experience it for yourself! it's chaotic, gritty, lively and real and i love it.

CET :o)

the light at the end of the tunnel

my first exam is tomorrow, woohoo!

i'm excited because this means the end of studying, THANK GOD.

i know i shouldn't whinge so much about it as i've willingly gone back to school and thereby put myself in this situation but man, revision is torture. instead of whipping them or pulling their limbs apart, people back in the day should have just forced prisoners to read facts on emulsions, formulation of liquid dosage forms and colloids, yeah.

haven't heard from scottish guy yet so don't know if i'll be meeting him tomorrow evening after my exam. will keep you posted...

right, need to cram!
CET :o)

shisha, smoke and snog

the date went VERY well! i had such a lovely time and i'm pretty sure scottish guy did too.

spent the day chillin' with vij as i knew no work was to be done...puttered about until half an hour before i was to leave the house and then all hell broke loose! a hectic, last-minute wardrobe change, a huge surge of nerves then a quick hug from vij and i was off, flying down the street to catch the bus.

we met up and he had had a stressful day; i think we were both in one of those crazy moods where everything makes you laugh and you feel slightly unhinged inside. i liked it because we were joking lots and quickly felt at ease with each other. the photographer's gallery was pretty small so we were done rather quickly; walked around and ended up having a drink at the spice of life pub (where the sunday jazz sessions take place). again as on the first date we did nothing but talk, talk, talk - i love it when each person has so much to say to the other and the conversation's not one-sided. i did tell him about my blog - i figured the sooner he knows about it the better - and the fact that i've written a bit about him. i'm sure his curiousity peaked when i said that but he was cool about it - he didn't press me for the web address and respected my privacy. i'm sure that won't stop him from at least doing a preliminary search for this blog, but i didn't tell him anything specific so i don't know how he would even manage to find it! here's hoping anyway...

afterwards we wandered around soho for quite a long while, trying to find a restaurant i had in mind. my sense of direction, while normally pretty good, is completely shot whenever i'm in soho and i have no idea why; we finally found the place only to discover a huge line-up outside. thwarted. ended up at a burger joint stuffing our faces with HUGE hamburgers and chocolate and strawberry milkshakes, mmm...

the night was still young but i didn't want to visit yet another bar after dinner; i suggested a hookah lounge on brick lane and it was a hit - we smoked hookah/shisha with peach-flavoured tobacco, sipped our sweet mint tea and completely relaxed. we both don't smoke so it was pretty funny having two non-smokers trying to smoke a huge shisha pipe.

seeing as how brick lane is in my hood and the fact that i can walk home from there, he walked me home afterwards. ooo, i forgot to tell you - we were holding hands all evening and there were lots of little touches here and there so i knew something was going to happen (!) - so i asked if he wanted to come up to my place for a bit.

OK, OK, OK, so in "date speak" i know this type of invite usually means some sort of action is going to take place. i really HATE it when the guy assumes it's going to be action of the heavy-duty kind, because sometimes a girl doesn't want that and just wants somewhere private (instead of outside the tube station in front of the drunks and weirdos) to first kiss a guy! THANK GOD scottish guy is such a gentleman and didn't maul me as soon as we entered my flat (though sometimes mauling suits me just fine!).

i showed him around, gave him a glass of water, and we sat down to watch some telly. i KNEW some snogging action was going to take place but how do you get to that point? we chatted for a bit and then he took my hand and held it for a while; i'm glad that when he decided to lean in for a kiss i decided to lean in for a kiss too - it was warm and sweet and we spent the next ten minutes making out. it was nearing midnight and he had to dash to catch the last tube home so it cut our snogging session short; i didn't mind though because i think it was the perfect end to a lovely evening.

snogging or no snogging, i had so much fun! dates like that leave you on a high - just the high i need to carry me through exams.

CET :o)

relax and be nervous...

today's not going to be a study day.

no running water in the flat from 1:30am until this morning. i wonder why? it got me all worried before i went to bed and then kept me up thinking about the consequences - buying bottled water at the store, going to a friend's house to shower, going to the library to study instead...my thoughts quickly turned apocalyptic in nature and so i had a troubled sleep! my imagination is much too crazy sometimes.

it snowed yesterday and a little bit today, though it's all melted by now. as long as i live i'll never tire of getting up in the morning, looking out the window and seeing everything covered in a lovely blanket of white. i think it's one of the most beautiful things in the world.

countdown to date time today and yes, vij and i discussed wardrobe and settled on an outfit last night. i wonder if boys think about dates as much as girls?

wish me luck!
CET :o)

human contact please!

this studying business is driving me a little nutty - it's going well overall (i think), but my days are spent chained to my desk, confined to my flat - not getting up except to eat and pee. the only time i'm physically outside is when i walk to the internet cafe to check e-mail - my only interaction with the outside world all day! argh!

thankfully this will change on thursday night when i have my second date with scottish guy! we're to meet at trafalgar square and then check out the photographer's gallery nearby. i must admit i'm excited at the prospect of kissing this fine scottish gentleman; i've been thinking about it a lot because i'm not exactly good at this whole first kiss thing. well, not good in the sense that i've never had to initiate it - the boys have always been the ones kissing me first, ha ha ha - i mean, i may not have to initiate it on thursday but a girl always likes to be prepared.

i was talking to kiwigirl about this and we realized that while i'm brave enough to approach a complete stranger (something she says she could never do), she's brave enough to kiss someone first (which i'm not sure i am); perhaps rolling the two of us into one would result in the perfect date!?!

i have a tendency to get a bit nervous and shy, especially when i realize the boy's attracted to me, and end up laughing when "the moment" approaches. laughing is bad because invariably the boy will think you're laughing at them, while in fact you're laughing at your own nervousness and the situation in general. comments/advice/tips anyone?

okay, off to the grocery store to stock up on food stuffs...

CET :o)

gale force winds can't keep me away...

for those not living in the uk, we had gale force winds rock the island all day yesterday...scottish guy texted me in the afternoon asking if i still wanted to meet up. as if an 80 mph breeze can keep me away from a date!

my nerves were growing as date time drew near. as per usual there was nothing decent in my wardrobe to wear, so i end up in one of vij's concoctions. was looking pretty cute though if i do say so myself!

i was walking towards the station (our designated meeting place) wondering if i would even recognize him - i mean, we only met just briefly and that was over a month ago - i wondered if he would even recognize me! thankfully we recognized each other right away and after an awkward hug (one of those where you don't know which way to go, your arms bumping into each other) we started walking to the pub of my choosing.

he was cuter than what i remembered which was a definite bonus; he was in his suit (coming from work) and looked very handsome. we got to the pub which was packed, and found ourselves squeezed into the tiniest possible corner. from there the conversation just flowed and flowed; i was myself throughout the date, though perhaps from the nervousness i was talking a bit more than usual. he didn't seem to mind though. i must admit i got a little bit buzzed from the pint of beer, which i downed pretty quickly, followed by my usual gin and tonic; i hope it wasn't too obvious! i could tell that he was enjoying himself very much, and throughout the evening he was showing his interest in me more and more. his gazes got longer, he kept touching my back as we were walking, little things like that.

funniest part: in the middle of drinks vij calls me - she had already planned to call, to see how i was doing and if i needed a way out in case the date was going badly - instead of trying to save me, she tells me that she left her keys at home! for real! so she had to meet us in the middle of our dinner, waiting outside the restaurant for me; i quickly ran outside, handed her the keys, gave her a quick update (including squealing) and then we dashed off our separate ways. scottish guy was probably thinking it was all a set-up or something, but it really wasn't!

after drinks and dinner we went to a cafe in soho for coffee, then he walked me to my bus stop. i think it's obvious by now that i'm not a suave person at all (oh really???), so the goodbye wasn't filled with movie-like kisses or anything like that; my bus came quite suddenly so i quickly leaned in for a peck on the cheek (i can already hear your collective groan and shouts for more action!), and then i was off. i think i preferred it that way, as it leaves the both of us anticipating and wanting what's to come...

conclusion? he's smart, funny, sweet and has an accent that makes me melt a little. next week is revision week so i'll be buried deep in my books, but i will definitely come up for some fresh air and perhaps a little more kissing...

CET :o)

the juice

THE RANDOM SCOTTISH GUY I GAVE MY NUMBER TO BEFORE THE HOLIDAYS CALLED ME YESTERDAY!!!

how about that?

i was having an impromtu pub dinner with a friend last night when i missed a call on my mobile. i didn't recognize the number so i kept chatting to my friend. about ten minutes later my mobile rang again:

CET: hello?

SCOTTISH GUY: hello, (my real name)?

CET: yes?

SCOTTISH GUY: hi this is (his real name), we met a few weeks ago in brick lane.

CET: (long pause, as at this point i have no idea who this is as we had actually met in spitalfields, not brick lane (it's a street over) and so his statement confused me.) OHHH, HI!

talk about being bloody surprised. i actually told him that i didn't think he'd call, as it's not everyday i give my number to a complete stranger expecting a reply. he said he was really impressed with how brave i was to approach him like that, and that i seemed kind. we had a quick chat and i told him i'd call him once i got home, as i didn't want to keep talking to him while still in the pub. practically flew back to my flat and gave him a quick ring - long story short, we have a date on thursday!!! woohoo!!!

he sounded slightly nervous on the phone which i thought was sweet; he has a lovely scottish accent, sing-songy and lilting, that i already like a lot. after my conversation with him i ran into the living room and told vij everything; she launched into 'first date planning mode' - what to wear, purse checklist, where to eat, what to eat, what not to eat, etc. - i honestly don't care about any of that stuff (although i will dress so as to look as cute and sexy as possible, of course); i'm just happy that i'm meeting someone so completely new and different, and i'm excited at all the possibilites that lie ahead, friendship or otherwise.

lesson for today: GIVE YOUR NUMBER TO A COMPLETE STRANGER!

giddy,
CET :o)

the hell begins

1) my luggage has made its way home! got delivered thursday night, thank goodness; nothing was missing though someone did rummage through it, hmmm...

2) vij got back thursday, yay! glad to have her back at the flat again, as i was going a bit stir-crazy staying in at night doing homework by myself.

3) studying for exams, which are exactly two weeks away, commenced this weekend. i'm already going a little loopy and there's still two weeks to go! i hate this part of school.

4) i've been doing a lot of thinking lately about a lot of things...will need to post some of this crap swirling around in my head soon...

5) jason: you just think my secret was lame because you're not in it! HA!

gotta go!
CET :o)

back...

...to a grey, wet and blustery londontown, not to mention impending, soul-killing exams. oh joy!

my luggage did not arrive with me alas, it is somewhere in the deep void known as LOST LUGGAGE HELL...i hope it finds its way home soon!

what can i say but that i NEEDED that winter break? i LOVED being home and it was great to see everyone again.

blogging might be light (as if it isn't already) because CET needs to study her ass off. i have a few things to talk about but it will have to wait until i'm a little less jet-lagged and my brain is fully functional once again. ahhh, a fully functional brain...

zoning out,
CET :o)

new beginnings...

HAPPY NEW YEAR DEAR READERS!

after a christmas hiatus from my blog i am back! i hope everyone had a lovely holiday/christmas/hanukkah/kwanzaa/etc. and a fantastic new year!

the end of another year always brings about a bit of personal reflection; looking back on 2006, i can say that it was a very good year. i finished my first year of pharmacy school, worked a summer job that allowed me to meet wonderful people, and it even provided a bit of excitement in the romance department, albeit short-lived :o). one of my best friends got married and another six (six!) couples i know got engaged; i continued with my dragonboat racing and have made many more happy memories. second year of pharmacy school started and i couldn't be happier living where i'm living in london and with who i'm living with; i truly feel blessed!

emotionally, 2006 was much better than 2005. my heart was slighty bruised by office boy, but nothing that couldn't be mended; i continued to drool into my coffee over coffee shop hottie - he has indeed provided me with much fun and fodder for my blog :o) - and i leaped outside my comfort zone by giving a random boy my number! oh, and we mustn't forget forging new limits with french canadian :o).

anyhoo, here's to a fresh new year and clean slate of 365 days to fill with LIVING LIFE TO THE FULLEST!

CET :o)

yes i know, it's been a while!

highlights since coming home:

- brought back fresh lobster from halifax - canuckian, our dad and i had a seafood feast! absolutely magnificent.

- skating at harbourfront centre with canuckian - right by lake ontario, lots of space, not too many people and best of all it's free! loved it.

- helped canuckian out at the harbourfront centre on wednesday, making paper masks with a bunch of grade schoolers - check out my paper mask! it's suppose to be a phoenix rising from the flames.

- was suppose to go skating again on thursday with two guy friends, but ended up spending the afternoon drinking at a pub. had some great laughs. one of the best feelings is to be laughing with friends.

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYBODY!!! HAVE A GOOD ONE!!!



the view of the lake from the skating rink.



huge christmas tree downtown, bay and wellington



my phoenix mask!



chili wearing my mask.

love CET :o)

the 'fax and peggy's cove

that's a boat called the "saucy sue" at the maritime museum in halifax.



halifax's clock tower is on same hill as the city's citadel, though you can't see the citadel from this angle.



point pleasant park. it used to be dense with trees until a hurricane a few years ago wiped most of them out!



that's me by the atlantic ocean!



peggy's cove, nova scotia. population: 40.



lighthouse!



we watched the waves crash against the shore for a long time. i love being by the sea.



that's me standing on a rock in the middle of a pool of water amongst all the rocks in peggy's cove. i seem to be fascinated by something in the water.

yes it was grey and yes it was cold, but it was a lovely day had by muttonface and i!

CET :o)

stars and ocean

i saw the stars last night! no, not the celebrity kind but the points-of-light-in-the-sky kind. it's funny/sad how i didn't even notice that i haven't seen them in a long time until i looked up last night and there they were in all their glory - the big dipper, little dipper, orion's belt - winking at me from way up high.

in halifax visiting muttonface this week - halifax, nova scotia, canada, not halifax, england for those who might be confused - walked to the park today after having a monster of a lunch (sweet potato poutine and seafood chowder, mmm) and dipped my hand into the atlantic ocean. c-c-c-c-cold. i realized that i've touched the atlantic ocean from both sides of the world, at four different locations: halifax, nova scotia; delaware, usa; cornwall, england and the algarve, portugal. i feel very blessed to have had the opportunity to do so!

today is my birthday (canuckian's too of course!). happy birthday canuckian!

muttonface's flatmate's cookin' up something good for dinner right now, it smells yummy. will be going to some reggae night thing that muttonface knows of afterwards, should be a good time!

CET :o)

nothing ventured nothing gained

i was also thinking of titling this post "i have balls."

so i went to the coffee shop just now, primed and ready to ask coffee shop hottie his name. yes, i am leaving the country tomorrow and yes, i have left it until the last possible moment but still, i have been a very busy girl this week so have not had time to go until today.

as per usual on a sunday afternoon the coffee shop was packed, filled with christmas shoppers taking a break from wandering around spitalfields across the street. the queue to order was tremendously long (and for a tiny coffee shop that's saying a lot!); i quickly scanned behind the counter and much to my dismay, coffee shop hottie was not there! doh, thwarted! don't worry however dear readers, CET did one better...

so this guy standing in front of me turns around and asks if i could hold his place in line while he gives his bag to his friend who's sitting outside at one of the tables. i say "sure, of course," and when he gets back we start chatting. he's a cute scottish guy from inverness with dark brown hair and blue eyes; we talk about scotland, canada, living in london, what i'm studying, etc., all the while getting closer to the front of the queue. he gives his order and is suddenly off with his two cappuccinos and slice of carrot cake, wishing me a happy holiday before disappearing. i order my wild mushroom soup and find an uninhabited corner to eat.

while eating i start thinking about going up to him after i'm done and giving him my number. i even take out a random scrap of paper from my purse, write my name and number down and put it back, at the ready for when i approach. obviously during this time my mind switches back and forth between fear of rejection and building enough courage to do something i've never done before - give a complete stranger my telephone number. just to prolong the internal debate i order a cup of tea and stew for a little while longer, hoping the courage will come soon and come fast.

i finally get up from the table and make my way outside; he's sitting with his friend a little distance from me. i start walking over, my heart going a mile a minute, when suddenly fear grips me and i veer across the street to spitalfields, stopping behind a white van! i quickly call kiwigirl for support and advice, as my biggest obstacle (besides my fear) is the fact that his friend is a GIRL, and so therefore might be his girlfriend! how would it look, giving him my number in front of his possible beloved?

kiwigirl says "nothing ventured, nothing gained" and i don't even know this guy and may never see him again, so i have nothing to lose. we debated the whole friend/girlfriend situation and well, it's not like i know for sure she's his girlfriend, so i might as well try!

i hang up and stand behind the van for a minute, trying to build up the courage once more. i set off back across the street and approach him from behind, taping him on the arm. i don't know what i said because i was so nervous and it probably came out all in a jumble but i think it was something along these lines:

"hi we spoke in the coffee shop i hope this isn't too forward of me but here's my name and number i'm leaving the country tomorrow but will be back in january so give me a call sometime if you want i hope this isn't too forward of me take care happy holidays bye."

then i practically flew down the street, so nervous and delirious and giddy i was! i think he looked kind of shocked and i did look at his friend/girlfriend for a moment and i hope my eyes told her "i'm sorry if this is your boyfriend and i'm trying to pick him up in front of you - i hope you'll forgive me but if he's not your boyfriend can you blame me for trying?" he did smile and wished me a happy holiday again, and that's all i saw and heard before turning around and running away.

so i didn't get coffee shop hottie's name (project for the new year) but i GAVE MY NUMBER TO A COMPLETE STRANGER! i think that more than makes up for it.

CET :o)

vacation starts NOW!

last day of classes was yesterday, though i didn't have any scheduled. finished my lab report thursday night at school and handed it in so i didn't have to go in on friday. that was a monster of a lab report; treated myself to some pie afterwards, courtesy of the square pie company.

YEAH, I'M FINISHED SCHOOL FOR THE YEAR, WOOHOO!!!

am in an internet cafe in greenwich at the moment, had a bit of a wander around the market. i totally did not need yet another t-shirt with a design on the front, but couldn't resist this one as i'm in pharmacy school: the front of the shirt reads, "study hard, DRUG SCHOOL." too perfect.

i have a hen night party to go to tonight, as well as three other birthday/christmas/end-of-term parties. think i'll only be able to do two. money is falling through my fingers like water!

flying off to halifax on monday to see muttonface for a week! cannot wait!

to everyone in the t-dot: see you from the 17th onwards!

i am very excited.

CET :o)

the final stretch

sorry fellow readers for being MIA for almost a week; end-of-term parties + early birthday party + christmas parties + HUGE lab report due friday = very busy CET :o)

themed parties: there is definitely something to be said about having a themed party. friday night saw some classmates and i at a party entitled "hoxton's next top model", as hoxton is the neighbourhood where the party was held. the organizers decorated the flat from top to bottom with magazine pictures and photo spreads; people were dressed up as models, from twiggy to zoolander! i was itching to get my groove on and thank goodness the music was pumping, with good tunes at that; CET shook her booty until 4am!

saturday saw CET on an outing with vij and her classmates, in and around brick lane. curry dinner at sweet and spicy, that mom & pop type shop i mentioned in an earlier post, followed by drinks at some random bar, then dancing (somewhat) at another bar in shoreditch.

running man gone bad: saw the most HEINOUS demonstration of the running man at the shoreditch bar - seriously, this woman was showing her male friend, step by god-awful step, how to do it. i wanted to go over and slap them both for such a shockingly appalling rendition of a classic 80's dance move. how dare they.

sunday was skating at somerset house in the morning. i absolutely LOVE LOVE LOVE skating and it was the best way to get into the christmas spirit. it was pissing down with rain up until the minute they opened the doors to the rink; as soon as we stepped out it was all glorious sunshine!

yes, being canadian and having skated since i was little, i was one of the better skaters out there, that is until i fell on my ass while showing off to my friends by doing a spin. :o)

early birthday celebration: dinner at sarastro's with some of my close friends here in london. classmate T bought me a dress for my birthday that i was keen to show off; i received many compliments! thanks T! the food was seriously overflowing - for real, dessert alone consisted of a huge fruit platter and five different desserts - as was the wine, the varied discussions and the good times. i feel very grateful to have such a friend base here in london.

off for home after spending the last 4 hours at the library - see, i can be quite studious when i want to be - am looking forward to some homecooked indian food courtesy of vij.

CET :o)

tuesday night routine

for the second tuesday in a row, vij and i have gone through a bottle of wine while watching tv - last night it was CSI Miami and New York. Classmate T joined us too; we brought home some yummy lamb biryani, shemi kebabs and a spinach dish from a mom & pop shop on brick lane. this was followed by a healthy dose of belgian chocolate truffle cheesecake, washed down with the wine of course. good old yellow tail shiraz...

nothing much to report - things have calmed down a bit compared to last week which was pretty hellish. just trying to buckle down and get stuff done before flying home for the holidays.

CET :o)

moving on and glad for it

yes, it is indeed the pie house in greenwich.

cheap and good does not even begin to describe the place. it was an institution.

i found out some news today regarding office boy and i'm happy to say that i am SO OVER HIM. it's such a wonderful feeling when you realize someone is not worth your time or your tears, and that you can do SO MUCH BETTER.

i want a man that can handle being with a WOMAN.

gotta go!

CET :o)

lament for goddard's pie house

white tiles, wooden floor
long wooden tables with pew-like benches
pie and mash for £2.50
steak and kidney, chicken and mushroom, cheese and onion
eel liquor that i have yet to try
mash with enough gravy to fill a small swimming pool

best of all, piping hot rhurbarb crumble with custard
brought up the stairs to the table by the window on the second floor
custard overflowing the crumble dish into the bowl
savouring each spoonful while watching the street below
rain pouring down, people running for cover
me with my thoughts and my pie.

goddard's pie house, 1890 - 2006

you will be sorely missed. :o(

yellow tail and jerry

after yet another incident (which i can't get into here), vij and i cracked open our bottle of yellow tail shiraz (courtesy of marvin the martian - thanks!) and drank it all, while watching "jerry maguire" on tv. jerry's arrogance and personality kind of reminded me of office boy, so i was cursing at the tv in between big gulps of red wine :o) at the end of the movie though jerry finally realizes what a doofus he is and comes around - i couldn't help but sigh and wish that was office boy and that renee zellweger's character, dorothy, was me. and can i just say how ridiculously cute that little boy is in the movie?

went to the coffee shop today and a slight turn of events - no i didn't get his name but another guy that works there - that i've seen before but not often - spoke to me! he's american and, noticing my canadian accent, asked which part of canada i was from as i was getting up to leave. there was some slight confusion for some reason as he thought i was from the west coast, with a seattle/vancouver-type accent (which i've never gotten before); i should've made more small talk with him but he caught me a bit off-guard. as for CSH, i've graduated from just "hi" to "hi, how are you?" today!

wandered around spitalfields for a bit and am now at an internet cafe/photocopying/faxing/international calls/buffet indian restaurant place - yes, i am confused as well and yes, this place actually exists - off for home soon to get cracking on some much-neglected homework.

CET :o)

you will never know

dear office boy,

you will never know about my favourite coffee shop here, with it's floor-to-ceiling wood panelling and bar top counter, over a century of wear worn into each knot and fibre; you love old buildings and architectural details and i know you would've loved this place as much as i do;

you will never know that on one particular bus route i take i pass by an outdoor sculpture by an artist that we've talked about and discussed at length, and that seeing this piece reminds me of you;

you will never know how i saw a t-shirt at camden market that i know you'd love, as the design on it was the exact same as on the poster you showed me at your apartment that morning;

you will never know how i can't look at ties and cufflinks without thinking of you; i liked picking out your tie that day and remember how you mentioned that we should go tie shopping together;

you will never know the depths of my feelings for you, which surprised me most of all; despite these feelings, i knew from the start that everything was doomed to fail;

you never promised me anything nor i to you; we had nothing between us except those moments and yet i cried and felt loss when i found out you are currently seeing someone and that it's "serious".

i hate the fact that more and more i realize "timing is everything", and yet timing is something i don't seem to have.

i hate the fact that you couldn't even tell me yourself.

i hate the fact that i put myself out there time and time again, and yet time and time again i come away bruised and battered. i take solace in the fact that despite this, i have enough courage to make myself vulnerable to people and take chances, and because of this i have no regrets.

i hate the fact that even as i type this i miss you, and want to talk/e-mail/see you when i know i won't and will not.

i hate the fact that i've always known that you don't care for me as much as i care for you, and yet my feelings continued to grow.

i don't wish you any malice or ill-will; this is just life as it happens and right now i'm just getting the short end of the stick. as always time will heal; i look forward to the day where i can look back on this fondly.

sincerely,

CET

swearing and sliding

we got to the tate modern after 2pm; although going down the slides is free, you had to get a timed ticket on a first-come, first-serve basis. we weren't able to slide down the slides coming from the 4th and 5th floors, as the times for those were really late, but we managed a run on the 3rd floor slide.



i didn't realize the slide would be so steep and so bumpy! as i shot down i felt the effects of gravity on my chest, like the feeling you get when you're coming down a really steep incline on a roller coaster; i have a tendency to swear when angry, scared or exhilarated, so on the way down i screamed "HOLY SHIT MOTHERFUCKERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!"

i got to the bottom and my friends were there pissing themselves laughing - i didn't seem to realize that the slides were not sound-proof, and EVERYONE in the HUGE hall (including mothers and their impressionable young children) had heard me swearing like a sailor. oops. oh well, they all have to learn swear words at some point.

i can't wait to go back another day to do the 4th and 5th floor slides (see picture). imagine the filth coming out of my mouth while sliding down the 5th floor slide!?! i should issue a warning before going down...

CET :o)
p.s. that last sentence sounds really bad if you didn't know i what i was talking about...

lattes and drunken teddy bears

friday: hung out with T&A and their oh-so-drunken yet oh-so-fun friend, olivier. drunks can be stupid/violent/annoying, but olivier was very entertaining! his eyes couldn't focus, his speech completely incoherent but boy, did we have a good time. at one point he thought my name was lindsay and that i was from the province of quebec - in china. sounds stupid i know but i suppose you had to be there. he was so easy to take the piss out of and did i ever!

saturday: watched the lord mayor's show and the subsequent fireworks - really enjoyed it. there was this sweet little float celebrating the providers of seafood to london's markets; kids and adults were dressed up as fish, lobster and octopus and one particular little boy in a shiny, pink fish costume had everyone in stitches, as he wanted to wave to the crowd but couldn't, seeing as how his arms were packed into his tubular fish costume. so cute.

stayed in and watched an indian film with vij on saturday night, "woh lamhe" starring kangana ranaut and shiney ahuja. it's a love story between a top actress and an aspiring filmmaker. very good dramatic film and i really enjoyed the actors' performances; the only time i laughed out loud was when during one particularly dramatic scene in which the couple embrace, the male lead suddenly breaks into song. too funny.

sunday: spent the afternoon wandering around spitalfields with gabby and then going to the coffee shop to check out the hottie - gabby had never seen him before. gabby's verdict? "you weren't kidding when you said those eyes should be illegal!" amen sista.

another light week for me class-wise; will try to be studious however and get some studying done. i do want to take time though to check out this latest installation in the turbine hall of the tate modern - you get to slide through the tubes, how awesome! weeeeeeeeee!!!

CET :o)

hmmm...

i'm at the library where i should be studying and yet, surprise surprise, i'm e-mailing, chatting and blogging on the internet. why do i even bother to kid myself?

so...i've realized lately that i like someone a lot more than i thought i did...i don't like this fact at all, because i'm pretty sure it's not reciprocal. needless to say i'm a wee bummed out about it. i mean really though, what was i expecting, another long distance relationship? HELL no, not if i can help it! actually, i wasn't expecting anything at all, only now i feel like i do want something more. what? i don't know. more? yes. all very cryptic i know, but that's how i've been feeling as of late.

i think i need to make a trip to the coffee house, perhaps at the end of this week, to get my mind off this...

had lunch today with an old co-worker and got caught up on all the gossip. i had a chocolate bread and butter pudding with vanilla cream that was YUH-UH-UMM-MMY, oh yes...am definitely going back for some more at some point!

going to capoeira class tonight - have missed the last two due to business woman's visit - am looking forward to it very much as have desparately missed the exercise. my ankle is STILL slightly wonky from the fall during halloween weekend so must take it easy today. there's a big afro-dance/capoeira workshop going on this saturday that i might partake in, though the lord mayor's show is on the same day and time as well.

have recently discovered the wonders of facebook - good god i didn't know how popular it is! - is anyone else on it? i'm not so addicted to it yet but i know people who are. all this wall-to-wall messaging and photo-tagging, another highly-effective time-waster...

CET :o)

i am being good today...

...i'm only giving myself an hour at the computer before going home and studying for my test on friday on the central nervous system. i feel like this might be what med school is like, having to learn the full latin names for the most miniscule regions of grey matter, whose uses are not even fully known or understood.

not much to report today, just want to get studying so i feel like i've done something productive with myself. am hopefully looking forward to a good chat with sue tonight!

gotta go, have a great day everyone!

CET :o)

well that was awkward...

have spent the last three hours on the computer at school...holy, am i addicted or what? this is what i get for not having internet access at home.

had dinner on friday with a bunch of people i used to work with, including ex-T. except for ex-T, business woman and i, everyone was either:

a) engaged;
b) married; or
c) in a seriously committed relationship.

the evening was lovely although at times i felt like either bridget jones from "bridget jones' diary" or hugh grant from "four weddings and a funeral", when he was sat at a table filled with all his ex-girlfriends.

at one point in the evening the girl who's engaged was lamenting the fact that her fiance lives in the states and how the time difference is hard on them both; she asked ex-T and i "what was the time difference for you two? 5 hours? 8 hours? wasn't it hard?" ouch. ex-T promptly excused himself to the bathroom and i was left to fill the girl in. she knew we were broken up but didn't know the extent of the PAIN. pass the salt please!

in other weekend news, vij, her dad, business woman and i had high tea on saturday at the chancery court renaissance hotel - all was lovely except for the fact that they left out my order (and vij's) and then promptly RAN OUT OF FOOD. we had to wait for almost half an hour while they scrambled about (probably running to the grocery store next door to buy food); this is a PREMIERE hotel in london and they run out of food??? as if! no hotel, especially this one, should ever, EVER, EVER be caught out like that. disgraceful! five stars my ass!

sunday was another laidback afternoon listening to the musical stylings of local jazz musicians at the spice of life pub. ahhh, sweet, sweet music. the old man was there again and we had a good chat; he said to definitely keep in touch and he will show me all the different places in london to experience good jazz.

it was also guy fawkes day here in england - he planned to blow up the houses of parliament back in 1605 - and now people here celebrate this botched attempt at absolute anarchy by setting off fireworks! the people in our building had a little bbq/fireworks display of their own, and invited vij and i to sit and chat with them. such lovely, lovely people; so warm and friendly and immediately amicable. it makes me all the more grateful that we live where we live because it really feels like a community and a home!

CET :o)

baby steps...

business woman and i went to the coffee shop this morning for brekkie...coffee shop hottie wasn't working when we first ordered and sat down, but near the end of our meal he walked in, saw me and said hi! good sign: he recognizes me. conclusion: small victory won.

most of the feedback i've gotten from everyone has been "just ask him out!" i suppose i'm going to have to, as i'm sure you don't want to read about me going on and on about his gorgeous mocha eyes for the next few years - you'd probably want to slap me - heck, i'd want to slap myself!

so i will try to muster up the courage to a) strike up some semblance of a conversation with him which will b) lead to more conversations which will c) lead to me asking him out!

did you know:

- i live in an area of london that once had the highest population of women, almost all of which worked as prostitutes?
- i live in prime jack the ripper territory!

business woman and i did the "jack the ripper" walk last night, it was very good. our guide was excellent at describing the murders (most gruesome!), the characters involved and the history of the time. the houses in our area that once were "doss houses" to thousands of people who had no place to live now sell for millions of pounds. in these doss houses you'd pay about sixpence to sleep on a mattress on the floor, fourpence to share the mattress with someone, and twopence to sleep on a washing line! seriously, you literally hung your head and arms over a line strung across two posts and slept standing up! in the morning to kick you out the landlord would cut the washing line. and in the one square mile that was the city of london at that time, three million people lived! craziness.

CET :o)

my fancy gives a lecture

so the handsome prof b. gave a lecture to my class today...it's so funny because quite a few people now know i find him highly attractive, so throughout class i was subjected to many sly looks, giggles and snickers...i don't mind though, as it spices up my day! speaking of which...

vij proposed that in my last year of school, right before i leave england, i give coffee shop hottie a note to let him know that over the last 4 years, i have enjoyed coming to the coffee shop in large part due to him. would this be creepy or cute? please keep in mind:

a) i don't expect anything from him - i just want him to know i appreciate him (and his yummy mocha eyes of course)
b) point a) is proven by the fact that i would be about to leave town when the note would be given
c) wouldn't it brighten up your day immensely to know that you've had such a positive effect on someone?
d) doing this would let him know how i feel without sabotaging my coffee shop visiting rights

what do you think? i still have another 2.5 or so years to mull this idea over.

CET :o)

i've found a new place...

...in london that i love. spice of life pub in soho is wonderful - it was where the the sunday jazz session was held. the venue was intimate, the musicians heart-achingly good...it was mostly improv jazz where if you wanted to play you'd sign up beforehand and then bring your instrument, an "open mic night" if you will. let me just say though, these "amateurs" had SKILL man, buckets of it.

i can't adequately describe how good the musicians were - i wish you all in canada/usa could fly over here and listen for yourself! - everyone who performed just picked up their instrument and the vibes just flowed; it was like listening and watching a river of sweet-ass music being created. VERY zen and VERY cool.

there was also one particular drummer that made my heart skip a little - a tall guy of mixed ethnic origin (asian and something else, mmm mmm good) - who was so good-looking and so talented (this is why musicians get so much play, on the stage and off!). alas, there was an equally tall, equally good-looking girl that he hung out with between sessions that looked as if she was his girlfriend.

the kindly old man was there albeit a bit late (we were about to leave when he showed up); we had a really good chat and he said to come again next sunday, which i will gladly do! apparently this sunday afternoon jazz event only occurs on the first and last sunday of every month, though the pub itself has jazz and other music performances throughout the week.

sillyhead, you would LOVE it! you and sweetiehead should get your butts over here soon.

halloween party: on saturday night vij, gabby, business woman and i got dressed up for gabby's co-worker's halloween house party. i wore a sweet, 60's vintage dress i found for only £7! gabby wore her flamenco dress while vij dressed up as a teacher.

the party was great - you paid a small fee but it was unlimited food and booze, shishas/hookahs too! - you can be sure i took FULL advantage of it! the house and backyard were beautiful and everyone was dressed up to the nines.

slight downer: i was chatting to this guy dressed up as a bloody butcher with a hockey/jason mask on; he mentioned he has a girlfriend (she was standing across the garden from us). i was pretty drunk by this point but still managed to notice that his hand was on my leg the entire time we were talking, though i was too drunk to do anything about it...then when i got up to join vij, he groped my ass! what a sleaze!

slight accident: i was well-boozed by the time the gaggle of us girls took the bus home. i wasn't stumbling around like a fool or anything, as i was really concentrating on stopping the world from spinning, but suddenly my ankle gave out and i hit the ground hard. scraped my knee good - i haven't had a scrape like that on my knee since i was little! - and ruined my sexy, white, thigh-high stockings with lace trim. argh! my right ankle smarted pretty badly too.

all in all a pretty damn good weekend.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!

CET :o)

kindness via mobile phone

okay, so my story involves a man...a seventy year-old man! i know you may be thinking "geez CET, you sure are bucking your current trend of younger men, eek!" but it's not like that at all. so...

...i was on the bus on tuesday heading down to chelsea to meet business woman for a wander. i fell asleep during the journey, knackered as i was; when i came to i looked at the seat beside me and saw a mobile phone - it must've fell out of someone's pocket as they sat next to me. i got off the bus as i saw a gentleman get off too who i thought was the one sat next to me. i ran after him and asked if it was his phone but he said no! hmmm, so what now?

i met up with business woman and we examined the phone; it had some phone numbers (probably important to the owner) taped to the back of the phone. it was also in a clear case with a slip of paper tucked inside; i opened it up and written in pencil were instructions on how to turn the phone on and off. clue: owner of phone is not a tech-savvy person.

i concluded from the various clues that this phone must belong to a man, and an older man at that; it looked like a mobile phone that an elderly person would have - like my grandma's phone! sure enough i was right, after calling one of the numbers and having the woman tell me that it was indeed an elderly man's phone. he called me later and we arranged to meet the next day.

i know there is definitely a level of suspicion when it comes to meeting a stranger who "says" it's their phone, so of course we met at king's cross train station in the middle of the afternoon. it was so funny because i was trying to describe to him the night before what i look like so that he could recognise me; he was very hard of hearing and so on a crowded bus while talking to him i'm screaming "i'm chinese! i'll be wearing glasses and a long coat! i'm CHINESE!!!"

i immediately spotted him and knew he was the one because he said he was a seventy year-old black man and he was the only one sitting there at the designated place. he looked so sweet and kind, and while he was a stranger i think your intuition tells you a lot; i came up to him and gave him a big hug. he was so so grateful and kept saying "god bless you; i had given up hope!" i gave him back his phone and we chatted a bit while walking out of the station; turns out he used to work as a promoter of jazz musicians. he didn't have time to tell me about all the places he's been to and the people he's met, but he did invite me to a jazz club this sunday afternoon! i thought it must be serendipity because business woman loves jazz and we had wanted to check a jazz club out.

for those worried about my safety it's okay - the club he told us about is on a major street and c'mon, he's my height and he's seventy, i can take him out if necessary. :o)

so there you go, talk about a funny way of meeting people! i am quite excited about this jazz club and getting to know him better - i'm sure he's got lots of cool stories to share. i mean, can you imagine if he's met and worked with the likes of miles davis and john coltrane??? wow...

CET :o)

i have a story...

but i'll have to blog about it later!

CET :o)

am i that bad?

so i was having a conversation in the kitchen last night with vij and business woman; we were talking about how apparently, my "man-radar" is completely non-existent.

vij says: when a man is attracted to me and sends out signals, i don't seem to pick up on them AT ALL; i automatically assume his signals are due to

a) him just being a friendly guy, and/or
b) he's just joking and doesn't mean it.

i just don't seem to know or aren't aware when someone fancies me. i always conclude that they don't. she says that marvin the martian and i aren't sexual twins because whereas he's completely aware of when girls like him (he just chooses not to do anything), i am completely unaware that men like me, and am actually surprised when i find out they do.

oh, and when a man jokes about marriage with you, is that an obvious sign of attraction? i want to know your opinion.

it's not like i think i'm not worthy of being fancied (on the contrary!), and there have been instances in the past where i knew pretty quickly that someone liked me...perhaps it's just lately? maybe my radar's out of sync and needs to be re-tuned? i don't know.

wow, talk about crap swirling around in your head.

CET :o)

nothing says a good weekend...

...like having to clean someone else's vomit off your flamenco dress the day after a housewarming costume party (the vomit came from some random girl on the bus on the way home, nice);

...like cooking a kick-ass dinner with vij for kiwigirl, her sis and marvin the martian (note: i can cook keema now, and i also share the same inseam measurement as marvin, in addition to being his sexual twin);

...like having business woman arrive in london for two weeks; picked her up and after a rest we went for sausages and mash at S&M cafe (as you do), followed by shopping at spitalfields. coffee shop hottie was working that day but i didn't go inside. it's really damn annoying being a poor student at your most favourite market in the world, but i guess there are worse things. note: had just about the most orgasmic (yes people, ORGASMIC) chocolate brownie in the world - not a word of a lie - rich as hell, moist as fuck, oh yes, OH YES (!!!), my eyes rolled back and CET was somewhere in heaven :o)

pet peeve: the "sprucing up" of camden and spitalfields markets, i.e. let's put all these glass and metal structures up around and in the existing marketspace, thereby killing any grunginess, grimey-ness, atmosphere and general CHARACTER that was what made these places beautiful. ARGH! modern architecture is nice but it has no place in markets over a hundred years old.

back to my lab write-up!

CET :o)

book, phone and beauty

book: so i ended up choosing option number 1 - girlwithaonetrackmind's book signing in angel. i got to the bookstore a bit early and so bought the book and read for a bit. in all honesty i must say i like her blog much better than the book so far, but i will hold off on judgement until i'm done. she read a few passages from her book and then answered some questions before signing; i thought it hilarious that they put her right beside the children's section of the bookstore - it is a sex memoir, after all - but she handled the evening with humour, grace and charm. and i must say, she is quite beautiful - not in the boring, skinny, archetype-of-beauty-thrust-in-your-face-by-the-media-way - but in a wonderfully curvaceous, real-woman way. she has really nice breasts!

i did speak to her when she signed my book; i have a tendency to clam up and come across like a total idiot in front of famous/semi-famous people, but i did manage to squeak out my name (which she thought was pretty) and congratulate her on her success and how she's managed being "outed" by the media very well. i hope i didn't sound too stupid!

went to kiwigirl's for a debrief afterwards, then headed home for dinner...

phone: after my dinner of a turkey ham and pickle sandwich along with some weetabix (dinner of champions), i thought i'd surpise a friend in t.o. by calling her out of the blue. she was at work (poor girl, spending every night this week at work until 10pm or later!) - she told me to hold on for a second and then suddenly, a deep, male voice came on the phone and said "hello?" it was office boy! my first reaction was to laugh and laugh and laugh - he was a tad bit confused, as he didn't recognize my laugh - so i said "it's me you idiot." we then had a pretty good chat, of which i'm very happy about.

beauty: i don't know what it is, but london seems very beautiful today. i woke up to clouds and rain, but it cleared by the time i left the house. the mottled clouds, in various shades of grey, against a background of emerging blue sky and sunshine, really struck me as i walked to my bus stop.

my bus route to school takes me through the heart of the financial district; a huge flock of pigeons flew by as i passed by the royal exchange. the arc of the birds' flight, to the top of the exchange with its victorian architecture, made for a dazzling sight.



CET :o)

realization

i spent the entire afternoon yesterday at the coffee shop admiring my hottie (discreetly of course - well at least i hope so). oh, and have a cuppa with my evil hypnotist.

when i first got there it was pretty quiet; i thought this would be the perfect opportunity to chat him up and perhaps ask him out. it then dawned on me (i'm not sure why i didn't realise it before) that if anything were to happen and if it all turned to shit, i wouldn't be able to go back to my favourite coffee shop anymore! the horror! i guess this means i will be but a distant admirer from now on.

i think it's illegal to have such gorgeous brown eyes as his. mmm, mocha sweetness...

so many things i could do today; girlwithaonetrackmind is having a booking signing and i really want to go...classmate T invited me to drinks with some of her old work colleagues...whitechapel art gallery is open late on thursdays with free admission too...forro night is tonight as well...what should CET do? it's like those old "choose your own adventure" books - what will happen next? only you can decide...

CET :o)

one lap, two lap...

marvin the martian bailed on running last night and kiwigirl wanted to run later than usual, so i ended up doing laps around the park in front of my school for about forty minutes last night! i must say i'm pretty proud of myself for having that much discipline :o). i alternated between running a few laps and walking a few laps - definitely more my pace and my style. and i didn't hurt so much today, yay!

okay, so i caved and e-mailed office boy again. he sent me an e-mail right before i left canada that kind of did my head in; i sent a reply and have not heard from him since. i e-mailed him yesterday just letting him know how i was and asking how he was doing, i mean, he did say he was looking forward to hearing about me and london, right? sigh. it's times like these that i wish i could bundle up all my emotions and throw them in the garbage can!

off for home as my landlord's coming by with my new curtains. no more changing in the living room!

CET :o)

wine, women (men too) and song

what a weekend!

friday: caught up with my lovely evil hypnotist before checking out his friend's band, pieces of mary. highlight: a rowdy rock n' roll rendition of marvin gaye's "i heard it through the grapevine". sweet.

saturday: afternoon exploration of brick lane (lamb keema, mmm) and a tea stop at my favourite coffee house in spitalfields. no coffee shop hottie that day. evening was spent at kiwigirl's; we had a classic girls' night in. watched "bridget jones' diary" (a perennial favourite) and "how to lose a guy in 10 days" (oh my god that sucked ass so large); much pizza was consumed and much girl talk was exchanged (you think?).

sunday: dinner and a song at sarastro restaurant, an absolutely gorgeous place where a violin quartet and opera singers entertain you while you eat. it was magical! my belly was full of food, my heart full of song, my spirit floating up in the rafters; words don't do it justice so here's a pic from their website:



beautiful, eh?

busy busy week ahead before the arrival of business woman to london on saturday. must get as much as i can done beforehand. am running with kiwigirl and marvin today too - hopefully today's run will be better than last week's!

CET :o)

your forro or mine?

so apparently i can pick up forro better than i can pick up capoeira.

it wasn't as raunchy like lambada as i thought it would be, though i'm sure you can take it that far. it was really fun learning and my instructor and his band played magnificently.

diss: so i was listening to the music and loving it, and really wanting someone to ask me to dance. i thought "what the hell, i'll just ask a stranger," and so asked a gentleman that i had seen dancing earlier that i thought would be nice enough to dance with a beginner like me. OH NO GIRLFRIEND, i got rejected!!! he mumbled something about not feeling well, though later on he was dancing happily with someone more experienced. WHATEVER YOU FORRO SNOB!

later on a guy asked me to dance, and we danced several times. he was a very good teacher and i picked it up easily after dancing with him for a while. it is good fun and the forro style itself is more laidback and relaxed compared to its salsa cousin.

comparison: CET gets rejected by Mr. Forro Snob; vij gets picked up by the best dancer in the room. sigh. she was in a trance watching him bust his moves - i guess it paid off because he soon crossed the room and asked her to dance!

anyhoo, it was a brilliant night filled with great music and fancy dance moves - i'm definitely going again next thursday.

CET :o)

tartar and forro

now that i have to blog from school, i wonder if the people sitting beside and around me in the computer lab will notice what i'm doing, and log onto my blog site after i've left...

had lunch today with old flatmate S - she's cool to hang out with now that i don't have to live with her boyfriend, ugh. we had fish and chips at a local cafe, with homemade tartar sauce, mmm...i think that's my favourite thing about eating fish and chips, the tartar sauce! i dip both the fish and the chips in it - i swear i eat more sauce than anything else.

i borrowed a can opener from a neighbour downstairs the other day, when i realised we don't have one at the flat; must get a can opener on the way home today.

my capoeira instructor's playing with his band (i think?) at a brazilian night at a bar on brick lane tonight; they have classes beforehand on a dance known as forro. apparently this dance is danced in pairs, so we shall see who i end up with as a partner! i just googled forro under "images" - it looks like some form of sexy dance, like lambada! eek!

CET :o)

resuming the fancy

my academic tutor gave a lecture to my class today - he is such an engaging lecturer, and i'm not saying this because i fancy him - and then i saw him for a brief chat afterwards. sigh. he has a framed photo on his wall of him playing sports back in the day when he was young and dapper - hot damn, he had a nice set of pipes - there were four gentlemen in the picture and i asked "which one is you?" to which he replied "isn't it obvious? the good-looking one." then i said "no, it's not obvious at all!" :o)

wednesdays are half-days at school; i've been out of class since 1pm. i have capoeira at 6pm so i stayed at school and did some homework (wow!). i'm getting my internet fix now as vij and i decided not to get internet at home until the new year.

hey, i took some pictures of our flat! check it out:



that's my room!



the kitchen (the lighting's a little dim and it looks a bit small, but i like it!)



the bathroom (great power shower although it doesn't look it)



the living room (along with my drying laundry - like the sushi pjs?)

CET :o)

pant pant

ran with marvin, kiwigirl and one of their colleagues yesterday. holy mother.

i think i did pretty well as i haven't ran like that in ages; we ran for about 35 minutes during which i stopped 4 times, each time for a couple of minutes. pretty good considering we were going at a pretty brisk pace (well, brisk for me). i'm quite proud of myself! thanks be to marvin and kiwigirl for letting a slow-poke like me run with them and for being so encouraging, even if i walked up the hill at the end instead of running up it. :o)

when i went back to my locker to get my stuff there was a guy standing there; he asked me how to use the lockers (coin deposit system) and so i showed him. i think he was trying to pick me up because he tried to make conversation, asking me if i was coming from aerobics class or something; i was looking so nasty, my face all red and my clothes all soaked from sweat, i just told him i went running with friends then grabbed my stuff and left. i know i should've been friendlier, and i think it's pretty cool that as gross as i was feeling and looking i was still being picked up, but i felt as though i was going to keel over and didn't have enough energy to form words that would make up a decent conversation. next time i'll be more prepared!

and i don't know if i've mentioned this in a previous post or not, but i love london the most when it's nighttime. we ran along the embankment by the river and the view was gorgeous, the buildings and trees all lit up, twinkling like thousands of stars on earth. riding the bus at night, you can fully appreciate the varied architecture in the city, and in general the feeling is more peaceful and calm. here are some pics:



see what i mean? i can see the rocket-like building (aka "the gherkin") from my bedroom window.



hungerford bridge near the southbank (imagine my sweaty self running along this bridge).

CET :o)

p.s. both images are courtesy of www.imagelondon.com.

gobble gobble run run

HAPPY THANKSGIVING CANADA!!!

i will be celebrating thanksgiving today by going on a run with kiwigirl and marvin the martian. yes i know, i'm CRRRRRAZY! all i have to say is "help me" - i'll be happy just keeping up with them half of the time.

the flamenco party i went to with gabby last night wasn't as good as i thought. we got there near the end - the musicians only performed two more songs (for sevillanas) and then they turned on the latin music - not flamenco at all! oh well, at least gabby and i got to dance a little bit of flamenco before it was all shakira and gypsy kings. we really miss our flamenco teacher, who moved back to spain last year.

okay, i should really get some studying done before going running. wish me luck!

CET :o)

p.s. check out this article forwarded to me by a friend - scientific study or not, i think it's leaning slightly on the bullcrap side...

sexual twin

so apparently i have more than one twin; it appears that i have a "sexual twin" in the form of marvin the martian!

vij and i had dinner last night with kiwigirl, her sister, and marvin. as always the topic of the evening was sex; marvin and i were recounting some of our respective stories and it seems as though we're pretty similar in many respects when it comes to relationships, dating and sex. i won't go into exactly what was said, but marvin made the "sexual twin" comment and it made me laugh.

thinking about it on the bus ride home, i didn't know whether having a "sexual twin" was a good thing or a bad thing. i guess it's not anything really, just an observation. he's my sexual doppleganger if you will.

at one point we went around the room and everyone had to state the most important physical feature they notice about someone (other than the eyes, because EVERYONE ALWAYS says eyes), and then state the most important non-physical feature they notice. here they are in no particular order - can you guess who said what?

1. smile; intelligence
2. broad chest; a touch of arrogance
3. butt; sense of humour
4. skinniness; geekiness
5. thigh-to-butt ratio; a touch of bitch

well, you can figure who said number 5... :o)

other notes: capoeira - holy mother i was in pain the next day but man, was it fun! i'm really rusty and will have to re-learn some of the moves, but i enjoy it very much! i'm already looking forward to this wednesday's class, plus the brazilian night down on brick lane on thursday that my instructor's a part of.

post-grad party at vij's school - it was good times! we were packed liked sardines in this tiny underground bar; there was dancing (which i was happy about) and although i was sore from capoeira, i did get my groove on pretty well, as evidenced by the fact that one of vij's new-found friends commented "you've got the moves, girl, you've got the moves!!!"

e-mail's brief stopover in london - it was sooooo good to see her, albeit briefly. we went to a breakfast place renowned for its bread (le pain quotidien), then stopped in a chocolate shop afterwards (rococo chocolates) and bought some truffles. particular favourites included the chili chocolate truffle, and the gin and lemon truffle. funny moment: we stopped in the middle of the street to savour the truffles, then realised we were standing in front of the london diabetes centre! e-mail took a picture of me gorging on truffles in front of the diabetes sign.

exhale...i feel a lot better now having blogged...all this stuff i wanted to get out but didn't have the time or the internet access to do so! ahhh...

CET

p.s. kiwigirl made an excellent roast last night - yes, she really can cook! :o)

happy 1st birthday!

it was a year today that i decided to start this blog. i hope it has provided some sort of humour/entertainment/insight to anyone who has stop by to read it, whether everyday (thanks loyal readers!) or just once. as always, i am open to suggestions/criticisms of any kind, as long as they're constructive!

oops, tutorial starts now! will try to blog more later!

THANK YOU!!!
CET :o)

the skies are gonna clear up...

hi ho, hi ho, it's off to job hunt i go...

in the computer lab at the moment...should be printing off my resume/CV but am blogging instead.

today i woke up and it felt like a good day; just feeling a bit more refreshed and ready to tackle the world. i hope this feeling lasts!

ran into my academic tutor today, prof b. still very good-looking, yet over-worked as usual. it's funny because everyone that knows about my crush doesn't think he's handsome at all...what does that say about my tastes??? oh well, we'll have to see what happens (if anything) this year! i think i'm destined to be only an admirer.

sue: ha ha ha, i'd like to know what kind of stripper names you'd come up with for me - what would be yours, hmmm???

jason: i'm not as good at capoeira as you are at your breakdancing, so i think our initial face-off you'd win hands down. give me time jason, give me time...

styxxx: capoeira (pronouced 'cap-oh-where-ah', sort of) is a form of brazilian dance/martial arts. it's kind of hard to explain, best to google it.

pretty busy the rest of the week - capoeira tonight, a party at vij's school thursday, e-mail's stopping over on her way to south africa on saturday, dinner on saturday night with kiwigirl and marvin the martian, then a flamenco party with gabby on sunday. where is there time to do homework?

CET :o)

everything's harder

folly after folly of errors, whether it be finding a flat, securing a flat, setting up a landline, even catching the bus to get to school on time...NOTHING has been easy so far, sheesh...oh, and i found out yesterday that the part-time pharmacy job i thought i had when i came back is no longer mine...long story...gotta find a job and find it STAT. i can understand why women turn to stripping to make rent... :o(

school's going well, though i'm already up to my neck in homework. i'm excited about this year though because the topics we're covering sound so interesting and it's just better than first year.

i'm going to try a capoeira class tomorrow - i used to do it a few years ago, and have been itching to take it up again - i'm excited!

CET

move in, moving up

holy shit. it's been a crazy three days.

flat: dealing with letting agents (i.e. real estate agents) suck. i went through enough stress and drama with ours on friday and saturday (i will not get into it here, too much bitching and typing required); moved in on sunday and that's all that matters. i love our new place! really feels like a home.

funny: i live near curry house central (brick lane) but guess who i have at home to make me the best indian food? vij! it's awesome - our first dinner at the flat was a yummy rice/lentil concoction and a potato dish - three helpings later i was a happy CET.

school: crazy first day, but that's to be expected. this year is about applying myself - for real this time! it was great to see everyone and get back into the swing of things.

matchmaking take two: didn't end up making it to the pharmacy to meet my elusive match, will do so today...

will blog more when i can!
CET :o)