a story about a cake

Once upon a time in a land far, far away, two women talking deep into the night. Shoe Gal and CET were discussing the heady topic of the number of men they had each slept with.

Upon hearing Shoe Gal's "magic number", CET joked "If you reach number X I will bake you a cake to celebrate!", knowing full well that Shoe Gal wasn't too keen on increasing that number anymore than she had to. The two women laughed and continued chatting until the early hours.

Fast forward to present day - Shoe Gal has met the "Man of her Dreams" and CET couldn't be happier for her, though laments to Shoe Gal that "Now you'll never reach number X so I'll never get to bake you a cake! Oh for shame!" Upon hearing Shoe Gal's account of CET's cry of despair over the lack of baked goods, the knightly Man of Shoe Gal's Dreams decides to take matters into his own hands, unbeknownst to CET.

The day he is to meet CET for the first time (also known as the "Hallowed Meeting of the Friends"), the Knightly Knight hatches his plan. He uses the instrument known as the "World Wide Web", combined with the tool "Canada 411" to look up bakeries in the Toronto area. You must be thinking "Oh how sweet, Knightly Knight is going to buy a cake for CET" but oh no dear readers, he goes one step further: he is going to bake the cake himself, but he needs some help. Knightly Knight may be knightly and all, but he can't bake a cake to save his life.

(phone ringing)

Hippie Bakery Lady: "Hello?"

Knightly Knight: "Hello! I would like you to help me bake a cake."

HBL: "We have plenty of cakes here at our bakery, why don't you pop by and choose one?"

KK: "Oh no, I want to bake the cake myself but I need you to help me."

HBL: "Um sir, we don't allow customers into the kitchen to bake their own cake; I am sorry but I cannot allow it."

KK: "I understand dear Hippie Bakery Lady, but if you listen to me tell my tale and deem it a worthy one, will you relent and allow me to bake a cake with you?"

HBL: "Hmmm, well this story had better be a good one."

Knightly Knight proceeds to weave the tale of Shoe Gal's magic number and how she'll never reach number X now that she's found KK, because he will be her last. "A cake will be lost because of me, so I am determined to make it up to CET," he says. Hippie Bakery Lady is entranced by the tale and deems it a worthy one, so she agrees to allow Knightly Knight into her kitchen where they will bake a cake like no other.

A few hours later the deed is done; a cake emerges from the depths of the bakery - deep, rich chocolate covered in an oozing waterfall of caramel and coconut - the likes of which few have seen and few will ever see. Knightly Knight is pleased.

At the appointed time and place that evening, Shoe Gal brings Knightly Knight to have an audience with CET. Their greeting is warm and friendly; in his hands Knightly Knight is holding a big white box that puzzles both Shoe Gal and CET. With a flourish he presents the box to CET and recounts the events of the day, leading up to this glorious masterpiece. Both Shoe Gal and CET are shocked and overwhelmingly impressed; the cake is an edible aria that delights all the senses. With this simple act Knightly Knight has accomplished three things:

1) He has made an immediately grand and lasting impression on CET, which is of extreme importance in any relationship - the winning over of the significant other's friends;

2) He has gained a multitude of brownie points with Shoe Gal, resulting in lots of hot nooky that Knightly Knight has so richly deserved;

3) He has baked a cake that will go down in history not only for it's unbelieveable taste, but for the story attached to it that will be passed on through the ages.

They all sat down and thoroughly enjoyed the chocolate and caramel dream, and all was well in the Kingdom.



Moral of the story: If you're a dude dating a chick, bake her friends a cake.

THE END

CET :o)