tuesday night routine

for the second tuesday in a row, vij and i have gone through a bottle of wine while watching tv - last night it was CSI Miami and New York. Classmate T joined us too; we brought home some yummy lamb biryani, shemi kebabs and a spinach dish from a mom & pop shop on brick lane. this was followed by a healthy dose of belgian chocolate truffle cheesecake, washed down with the wine of course. good old yellow tail shiraz...

nothing much to report - things have calmed down a bit compared to last week which was pretty hellish. just trying to buckle down and get stuff done before flying home for the holidays.

CET :o)

moving on and glad for it

yes, it is indeed the pie house in greenwich.

cheap and good does not even begin to describe the place. it was an institution.

i found out some news today regarding office boy and i'm happy to say that i am SO OVER HIM. it's such a wonderful feeling when you realize someone is not worth your time or your tears, and that you can do SO MUCH BETTER.

i want a man that can handle being with a WOMAN.

gotta go!

CET :o)

lament for goddard's pie house

white tiles, wooden floor
long wooden tables with pew-like benches
pie and mash for £2.50
steak and kidney, chicken and mushroom, cheese and onion
eel liquor that i have yet to try
mash with enough gravy to fill a small swimming pool

best of all, piping hot rhurbarb crumble with custard
brought up the stairs to the table by the window on the second floor
custard overflowing the crumble dish into the bowl
savouring each spoonful while watching the street below
rain pouring down, people running for cover
me with my thoughts and my pie.

goddard's pie house, 1890 - 2006

you will be sorely missed. :o(

yellow tail and jerry

after yet another incident (which i can't get into here), vij and i cracked open our bottle of yellow tail shiraz (courtesy of marvin the martian - thanks!) and drank it all, while watching "jerry maguire" on tv. jerry's arrogance and personality kind of reminded me of office boy, so i was cursing at the tv in between big gulps of red wine :o) at the end of the movie though jerry finally realizes what a doofus he is and comes around - i couldn't help but sigh and wish that was office boy and that renee zellweger's character, dorothy, was me. and can i just say how ridiculously cute that little boy is in the movie?

went to the coffee shop today and a slight turn of events - no i didn't get his name but another guy that works there - that i've seen before but not often - spoke to me! he's american and, noticing my canadian accent, asked which part of canada i was from as i was getting up to leave. there was some slight confusion for some reason as he thought i was from the west coast, with a seattle/vancouver-type accent (which i've never gotten before); i should've made more small talk with him but he caught me a bit off-guard. as for CSH, i've graduated from just "hi" to "hi, how are you?" today!

wandered around spitalfields for a bit and am now at an internet cafe/photocopying/faxing/international calls/buffet indian restaurant place - yes, i am confused as well and yes, this place actually exists - off for home soon to get cracking on some much-neglected homework.

CET :o)

you will never know

dear office boy,

you will never know about my favourite coffee shop here, with it's floor-to-ceiling wood panelling and bar top counter, over a century of wear worn into each knot and fibre; you love old buildings and architectural details and i know you would've loved this place as much as i do;

you will never know that on one particular bus route i take i pass by an outdoor sculpture by an artist that we've talked about and discussed at length, and that seeing this piece reminds me of you;

you will never know how i saw a t-shirt at camden market that i know you'd love, as the design on it was the exact same as on the poster you showed me at your apartment that morning;

you will never know how i can't look at ties and cufflinks without thinking of you; i liked picking out your tie that day and remember how you mentioned that we should go tie shopping together;

you will never know the depths of my feelings for you, which surprised me most of all; despite these feelings, i knew from the start that everything was doomed to fail;

you never promised me anything nor i to you; we had nothing between us except those moments and yet i cried and felt loss when i found out you are currently seeing someone and that it's "serious".

i hate the fact that more and more i realize "timing is everything", and yet timing is something i don't seem to have.

i hate the fact that you couldn't even tell me yourself.

i hate the fact that i put myself out there time and time again, and yet time and time again i come away bruised and battered. i take solace in the fact that despite this, i have enough courage to make myself vulnerable to people and take chances, and because of this i have no regrets.

i hate the fact that even as i type this i miss you, and want to talk/e-mail/see you when i know i won't and will not.

i hate the fact that i've always known that you don't care for me as much as i care for you, and yet my feelings continued to grow.

i don't wish you any malice or ill-will; this is just life as it happens and right now i'm just getting the short end of the stick. as always time will heal; i look forward to the day where i can look back on this fondly.

sincerely,

CET

swearing and sliding

we got to the tate modern after 2pm; although going down the slides is free, you had to get a timed ticket on a first-come, first-serve basis. we weren't able to slide down the slides coming from the 4th and 5th floors, as the times for those were really late, but we managed a run on the 3rd floor slide.



i didn't realize the slide would be so steep and so bumpy! as i shot down i felt the effects of gravity on my chest, like the feeling you get when you're coming down a really steep incline on a roller coaster; i have a tendency to swear when angry, scared or exhilarated, so on the way down i screamed "HOLY SHIT MOTHERFUCKERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!"

i got to the bottom and my friends were there pissing themselves laughing - i didn't seem to realize that the slides were not sound-proof, and EVERYONE in the HUGE hall (including mothers and their impressionable young children) had heard me swearing like a sailor. oops. oh well, they all have to learn swear words at some point.

i can't wait to go back another day to do the 4th and 5th floor slides (see picture). imagine the filth coming out of my mouth while sliding down the 5th floor slide!?! i should issue a warning before going down...

CET :o)
p.s. that last sentence sounds really bad if you didn't know i what i was talking about...

lattes and drunken teddy bears

friday: hung out with T&A and their oh-so-drunken yet oh-so-fun friend, olivier. drunks can be stupid/violent/annoying, but olivier was very entertaining! his eyes couldn't focus, his speech completely incoherent but boy, did we have a good time. at one point he thought my name was lindsay and that i was from the province of quebec - in china. sounds stupid i know but i suppose you had to be there. he was so easy to take the piss out of and did i ever!

saturday: watched the lord mayor's show and the subsequent fireworks - really enjoyed it. there was this sweet little float celebrating the providers of seafood to london's markets; kids and adults were dressed up as fish, lobster and octopus and one particular little boy in a shiny, pink fish costume had everyone in stitches, as he wanted to wave to the crowd but couldn't, seeing as how his arms were packed into his tubular fish costume. so cute.

stayed in and watched an indian film with vij on saturday night, "woh lamhe" starring kangana ranaut and shiney ahuja. it's a love story between a top actress and an aspiring filmmaker. very good dramatic film and i really enjoyed the actors' performances; the only time i laughed out loud was when during one particularly dramatic scene in which the couple embrace, the male lead suddenly breaks into song. too funny.

sunday: spent the afternoon wandering around spitalfields with gabby and then going to the coffee shop to check out the hottie - gabby had never seen him before. gabby's verdict? "you weren't kidding when you said those eyes should be illegal!" amen sista.

another light week for me class-wise; will try to be studious however and get some studying done. i do want to take time though to check out this latest installation in the turbine hall of the tate modern - you get to slide through the tubes, how awesome! weeeeeeeeee!!!

CET :o)

hmmm...

i'm at the library where i should be studying and yet, surprise surprise, i'm e-mailing, chatting and blogging on the internet. why do i even bother to kid myself?

so...i've realized lately that i like someone a lot more than i thought i did...i don't like this fact at all, because i'm pretty sure it's not reciprocal. needless to say i'm a wee bummed out about it. i mean really though, what was i expecting, another long distance relationship? HELL no, not if i can help it! actually, i wasn't expecting anything at all, only now i feel like i do want something more. what? i don't know. more? yes. all very cryptic i know, but that's how i've been feeling as of late.

i think i need to make a trip to the coffee house, perhaps at the end of this week, to get my mind off this...

had lunch today with an old co-worker and got caught up on all the gossip. i had a chocolate bread and butter pudding with vanilla cream that was YUH-UH-UMM-MMY, oh yes...am definitely going back for some more at some point!

going to capoeira class tonight - have missed the last two due to business woman's visit - am looking forward to it very much as have desparately missed the exercise. my ankle is STILL slightly wonky from the fall during halloween weekend so must take it easy today. there's a big afro-dance/capoeira workshop going on this saturday that i might partake in, though the lord mayor's show is on the same day and time as well.

have recently discovered the wonders of facebook - good god i didn't know how popular it is! - is anyone else on it? i'm not so addicted to it yet but i know people who are. all this wall-to-wall messaging and photo-tagging, another highly-effective time-waster...

CET :o)

i am being good today...

...i'm only giving myself an hour at the computer before going home and studying for my test on friday on the central nervous system. i feel like this might be what med school is like, having to learn the full latin names for the most miniscule regions of grey matter, whose uses are not even fully known or understood.

not much to report today, just want to get studying so i feel like i've done something productive with myself. am hopefully looking forward to a good chat with sue tonight!

gotta go, have a great day everyone!

CET :o)

well that was awkward...

have spent the last three hours on the computer at school...holy, am i addicted or what? this is what i get for not having internet access at home.

had dinner on friday with a bunch of people i used to work with, including ex-T. except for ex-T, business woman and i, everyone was either:

a) engaged;
b) married; or
c) in a seriously committed relationship.

the evening was lovely although at times i felt like either bridget jones from "bridget jones' diary" or hugh grant from "four weddings and a funeral", when he was sat at a table filled with all his ex-girlfriends.

at one point in the evening the girl who's engaged was lamenting the fact that her fiance lives in the states and how the time difference is hard on them both; she asked ex-T and i "what was the time difference for you two? 5 hours? 8 hours? wasn't it hard?" ouch. ex-T promptly excused himself to the bathroom and i was left to fill the girl in. she knew we were broken up but didn't know the extent of the PAIN. pass the salt please!

in other weekend news, vij, her dad, business woman and i had high tea on saturday at the chancery court renaissance hotel - all was lovely except for the fact that they left out my order (and vij's) and then promptly RAN OUT OF FOOD. we had to wait for almost half an hour while they scrambled about (probably running to the grocery store next door to buy food); this is a PREMIERE hotel in london and they run out of food??? as if! no hotel, especially this one, should ever, EVER, EVER be caught out like that. disgraceful! five stars my ass!

sunday was another laidback afternoon listening to the musical stylings of local jazz musicians at the spice of life pub. ahhh, sweet, sweet music. the old man was there again and we had a good chat; he said to definitely keep in touch and he will show me all the different places in london to experience good jazz.

it was also guy fawkes day here in england - he planned to blow up the houses of parliament back in 1605 - and now people here celebrate this botched attempt at absolute anarchy by setting off fireworks! the people in our building had a little bbq/fireworks display of their own, and invited vij and i to sit and chat with them. such lovely, lovely people; so warm and friendly and immediately amicable. it makes me all the more grateful that we live where we live because it really feels like a community and a home!

CET :o)

baby steps...

business woman and i went to the coffee shop this morning for brekkie...coffee shop hottie wasn't working when we first ordered and sat down, but near the end of our meal he walked in, saw me and said hi! good sign: he recognizes me. conclusion: small victory won.

most of the feedback i've gotten from everyone has been "just ask him out!" i suppose i'm going to have to, as i'm sure you don't want to read about me going on and on about his gorgeous mocha eyes for the next few years - you'd probably want to slap me - heck, i'd want to slap myself!

so i will try to muster up the courage to a) strike up some semblance of a conversation with him which will b) lead to more conversations which will c) lead to me asking him out!

did you know:

- i live in an area of london that once had the highest population of women, almost all of which worked as prostitutes?
- i live in prime jack the ripper territory!

business woman and i did the "jack the ripper" walk last night, it was very good. our guide was excellent at describing the murders (most gruesome!), the characters involved and the history of the time. the houses in our area that once were "doss houses" to thousands of people who had no place to live now sell for millions of pounds. in these doss houses you'd pay about sixpence to sleep on a mattress on the floor, fourpence to share the mattress with someone, and twopence to sleep on a washing line! seriously, you literally hung your head and arms over a line strung across two posts and slept standing up! in the morning to kick you out the landlord would cut the washing line. and in the one square mile that was the city of london at that time, three million people lived! craziness.

CET :o)

my fancy gives a lecture

so the handsome prof b. gave a lecture to my class today...it's so funny because quite a few people now know i find him highly attractive, so throughout class i was subjected to many sly looks, giggles and snickers...i don't mind though, as it spices up my day! speaking of which...

vij proposed that in my last year of school, right before i leave england, i give coffee shop hottie a note to let him know that over the last 4 years, i have enjoyed coming to the coffee shop in large part due to him. would this be creepy or cute? please keep in mind:

a) i don't expect anything from him - i just want him to know i appreciate him (and his yummy mocha eyes of course)
b) point a) is proven by the fact that i would be about to leave town when the note would be given
c) wouldn't it brighten up your day immensely to know that you've had such a positive effect on someone?
d) doing this would let him know how i feel without sabotaging my coffee shop visiting rights

what do you think? i still have another 2.5 or so years to mull this idea over.

CET :o)