moray, anyone?

wow, a lot has happened in two weeks.

school started last week and i was thrown into that whirlwind, then an email from scotland came inviting me for a pre-registration (pharmacy training) interview at a pharmacy in a wee town along the moray firth coast. if you're reading this and don't know where that is, google it. heck, i had to when i first read the name of the town - i was like "where the heck is that?" anyhoo, a phone call and flights booked later, i was touching down in inverness for a quick jaunt along the coast to see about a job.

the place was beautiful but i knew that even before i went - it is bonnie scotland after all! i fell in love with the country years ago when canuckian and i toured the highlands together. the interview went well and by the end of it i was offered the job. i said i needed to think about it and they understood as it would require a least a year's commitment and the town where i'd be working is pretty isolated.

long story short: i turned down the job. if anything, spending time in scotland made me realize that i want to be home. i want to see my friends' kids grow up, i want to be a member of my hospital league softball team for many years; i want to spend time with family and friends and be an active part of their lives, heck, i want them to be an active part of mine. i told the pharmacist that perhaps if i was a few years younger (i am a "mature" student after all) and didn't feel somewhat of a time pressure, i would definitely say yes to a few years in scotland. and i must say that while the town and surrounds were beautiful, scenery alone should not be the only reason keeping me there; i honestly don't think i could've coped with the isolation. and i would also be the ONLY chinese person within a 20 mile radius - seriously! i met a little boy in town whose grandmother told me that he cried when he first saw an indian man because he had never seen a person with such dark skin before! bloomin' heck! i think i was only the second visible minority he had ever seen in his life.

anyhoo, i am grateful for this experience because i met a pile of lovely people and saw a part of scotland i had never seen before. i actually got a little verklempt when i spoke to the pharmacist as well as the pre-reg tutor on the phone tonight - i don't know why but maybe it was a mixture of guilt at turning them down, realizing how much i miss my family and friends and never allow myself to feel it, leaving a chance to live in scotland behind, a whole host of reasons really that i can't quite articulate...i just know that making this decision has been hard but in the end i've made the right choice for me.

CET