no posts in forever, and now i'm a blogging machine!
update on the youngin': i think we have fallen into that clear-as-mud category known as "friends...with benefits". i think it's a combination of him not being able to make up his mind and my waves of strength and weakness. actually, i should give myself a little more credit because i'm going into this with my eyes open - i know exactly what the situation is and i control my part in it - it's just that i know that whether or not i sleep with him it's still going to hurt. obviously you might think it's stupid of me to get into all that, knowing i'm going to get hurt, and why hurt more when you can hurt less, but even if there were no "benefits" attached to our friendship, leaving the friendship in february (i'm coming back to toronto to do a research project) will still make me sad.
it's very strange because perhaps in a different time and a different place things might've worked out (for a least a while longer than it actually did); my flatmate asked me if i wondered what our relationship (in the general sense of the word) would have been like if it didn't start the way that it started, with all that flirting and kissing, but i say what's the point in thinking those things? youngin' and i have an intense attraction to each other that's fuelled by our respectively flirty natures - even if we had started out as "just friends" i'm pretty sure it would've become more than that pretty quickly. anyhoo...
basically, with or without the sex, youngin' and i get on like a house on fire - he is quite unlike any of my friends in london and strangely enough, i think that's what i gravitate to the most - he brings out a side of me that hasn't been brought out in a while. neuronal pathways, little used in that particular region of the brain, are firing again. he just makes me think and interact in a way that i find refreshing and fun. it just all depends on me as to whether this fun includes between the sheets.
CET :o)
Monday, December 17, 2007
holy crap, i'm 30
i have officially entered a new decade. my twenties are behind me. HOLY SHIT!
all year i've felt quite nonchalant about turning 30, but in the last couple of months leading up to my birthday i've been slightly stressed about it. perhaps i feel it more acutely as i go to school with people who are almost 10 years my junior. yikes.
when i received my first birthday card with the big "3-0" emblazoned on the front i had a mini panic attack! i woke up on my birthday grappling with the concept (now a reality) that i wasn't in my twenties anymore. after a succession of kick-ass birthday parties however (why have one when you can have three?), i think i am learning to be okay with it. it's no big deal really - i still look pretty young for my age and i certainly don't feel older - i think my anxiety was temporary. well, i hope so!
it's funny because while perhaps i don't want to be 30 just yet, i certainly don't want to go back to my early 20s or anything like that. i love everything that i've experienced, both good and bad, these last ten years of my life - i wouldn't change a thing - so why go back to it? i feel wiser, stronger, more sure of myself than i have ever felt before and i love the fact that i am where i am, doing what i am doing today. if feeling this way means putting a "3" where there once was a "2", then so be it!
CET :o)
all year i've felt quite nonchalant about turning 30, but in the last couple of months leading up to my birthday i've been slightly stressed about it. perhaps i feel it more acutely as i go to school with people who are almost 10 years my junior. yikes.
when i received my first birthday card with the big "3-0" emblazoned on the front i had a mini panic attack! i woke up on my birthday grappling with the concept (now a reality) that i wasn't in my twenties anymore. after a succession of kick-ass birthday parties however (why have one when you can have three?), i think i am learning to be okay with it. it's no big deal really - i still look pretty young for my age and i certainly don't feel older - i think my anxiety was temporary. well, i hope so!
it's funny because while perhaps i don't want to be 30 just yet, i certainly don't want to go back to my early 20s or anything like that. i love everything that i've experienced, both good and bad, these last ten years of my life - i wouldn't change a thing - so why go back to it? i feel wiser, stronger, more sure of myself than i have ever felt before and i love the fact that i am where i am, doing what i am doing today. if feeling this way means putting a "3" where there once was a "2", then so be it!
CET :o)
Thursday, November 29, 2007
it's all good (well, getting there)
things between youngin' and i are over. i am glad and relieved. i must say although the primary reason things pittered out was him, it was also his particular situation, and because of that there are no hard feelings between us and things will remain amicable. i am glad for that too.
things i will miss the most: his hands and lips. strong, experienced hands and big, full lips, the kind you can kiss/suck/gnaw on for hours, mmm...
CET :o)
things i will miss the most: his hands and lips. strong, experienced hands and big, full lips, the kind you can kiss/suck/gnaw on for hours, mmm...
CET :o)
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
i'm alive, i'm alive!
it's been a long month.
i'm sorry for my absence from the blogsphere - i'll state the usual about how school is crazy and absolutely hectic but it's true, in addition to my two part-time jobs - but let's just skip all that and get to the gossip:
i met a boy and boy oh boy, it's been up and it's been down (it's currently down). what shall i call him? hmmm, i've had a few suggestions from a friend that i will not repeat here...suffice it to say he is a few years younger than me (i seem to have a knack for attracting the younger man)...let's call this one "the youngin'".
i met him while working at the bar, about a three weeks ago...yup, he was successful in picking up the bartender. the first two weeks were great - he's funny, teases me relentlessly, is straightforward and doesn't play games (well, until recently). all that changed last week.
i don't want to get into the details (i want to be somewhat respectful and not spill his beans, only mine) but basically the youngin' has certain issues to deal with and it's a case of "it's not you, it's me". it's also a case of his idea of "casual dating" being very different from mine.
i don't know how to write this without spilling everything, so instead i'll just tell you how i'm feeling. i feel sad. frustrated. angry. everything was going so well, and now he just leaves me feeling upset all the time. things are complicated by the fact that i see him pretty much everyday (it's slightly scandalous because he works at my school! don't worry, there's absolutely no conflict of interest here, promise), not to mention that he's a regular at the bar. and whatever happens between us (currently what's happening is shitsville), i'll have to see him until i'm done my degree in over a year and a half's time. great.
why do things have to be so complicated? why do boys always leave me feeling upset and empty, and even lonelier than when i was alone? perhaps this is what i get for letting myself go with people too quickly, and i don't even mean physically but emotionally. i don't know how else to be though, and i'm not sure if i want to change that aspect of myself.
it's only a week and a half before i fly home for christmas. i will be glad for it.
CET :o(
i'm sorry for my absence from the blogsphere - i'll state the usual about how school is crazy and absolutely hectic but it's true, in addition to my two part-time jobs - but let's just skip all that and get to the gossip:
i met a boy and boy oh boy, it's been up and it's been down (it's currently down). what shall i call him? hmmm, i've had a few suggestions from a friend that i will not repeat here...suffice it to say he is a few years younger than me (i seem to have a knack for attracting the younger man)...let's call this one "the youngin'".
i met him while working at the bar, about a three weeks ago...yup, he was successful in picking up the bartender. the first two weeks were great - he's funny, teases me relentlessly, is straightforward and doesn't play games (well, until recently). all that changed last week.
i don't want to get into the details (i want to be somewhat respectful and not spill his beans, only mine) but basically the youngin' has certain issues to deal with and it's a case of "it's not you, it's me". it's also a case of his idea of "casual dating" being very different from mine.
i don't know how to write this without spilling everything, so instead i'll just tell you how i'm feeling. i feel sad. frustrated. angry. everything was going so well, and now he just leaves me feeling upset all the time. things are complicated by the fact that i see him pretty much everyday (it's slightly scandalous because he works at my school! don't worry, there's absolutely no conflict of interest here, promise), not to mention that he's a regular at the bar. and whatever happens between us (currently what's happening is shitsville), i'll have to see him until i'm done my degree in over a year and a half's time. great.
why do things have to be so complicated? why do boys always leave me feeling upset and empty, and even lonelier than when i was alone? perhaps this is what i get for letting myself go with people too quickly, and i don't even mean physically but emotionally. i don't know how else to be though, and i'm not sure if i want to change that aspect of myself.
it's only a week and a half before i fly home for christmas. i will be glad for it.
CET :o(
Saturday, October 27, 2007
high road? what high road?
discussing the latest news on londoner with T&A late thursday night, A jokingly/half-seriously suggested i e-mail londoner back, calling him a loser. A's comment made for a good laugh but you know what? the next day i actually did it! londoner IS a loser, especially for expecting me to forgive him because he's honestly a "good" guy. so this is what i wrote:
loser.
when you "finally" get this e-mail in another four months' time...still a loser.
HA! :o)
the reference to receiving my e-mail in four months' time refers to his "claim" that he hardly checks his e-mail and that he "just" received my e-mail from the summer only recently, although for some reason he replies to something i sent two days ago in a matter of hours. mmmhmmm.
i must say i always pride myself in taking the high road (well, most of the time) but writing that to him was so cathartic for me! woohoo! in yer face loser!
CET :o)
loser.
when you "finally" get this e-mail in another four months' time...still a loser.
HA! :o)
the reference to receiving my e-mail in four months' time refers to his "claim" that he hardly checks his e-mail and that he "just" received my e-mail from the summer only recently, although for some reason he replies to something i sent two days ago in a matter of hours. mmmhmmm.
i must say i always pride myself in taking the high road (well, most of the time) but writing that to him was so cathartic for me! woohoo! in yer face loser!
CET :o)
Thursday, October 25, 2007
life and school - happy co-existence or no?
ten days since my last post and there's lots to tell!
school is KICKING MY ASS. the pace and workload are relentless! i keep up with the coursework which is fine, but all the extra notes you're suppose to take/keep up with outside of class, all the readings, holy shit, there is just so much to do! in first and second year you could kind of get away with not doing too much until exam time (as evidenced by my frequent trips to the coffee shop, spitalfields market, kinetica, brick lane, etc.) but not this year - if you don't start now you are seriously screwed. i sometimes wonder if my brain has the holding capacity for all this information? seriously!
last wednesday i was in the studio audience during a taping of the GRAHAM NORTON SHOW!!! for those who don't know who he is, click on this link. he was sooo funny and the whole experience was great; best part was the fact that i was pretty close to the front, so everytime the camera was pointed to the audience you could see me! ha ha ha, my few milliseconds of fame. gabriel byrne was a guest and he was pretty cool, though it took him forever to tell one story, even if they were good. they cut out a lot of what he said just for that fact alone. and the second best part - the musical act on were THE BACKSTREET BOYS! hahahahahahaha - they were so bad, i was laughing throughout their entire performance. and yes, they really are that short in real life. oh, and for my friends in canada, i taped the show so if you want to see me on it i'll bring it back to toronto over christmas. :o)
i've gotten a second job that i started last week - i am officially a bar wench! yes that's right, CET got a job at her university bar. last friday was training day and i must say i'm liking it very much; it's a great way to meet people and there is something slightly cool about being a bartender. tomorrow's my first shift on my own - wish me luck! oh, that reminds me, i need to e-mail prof b and personally invite him down for a drink. :o)
the last couple of times i've been to the coffee shop i haven't seen the hottie; instead, i have discovered another POTENTIAL coffee shop hottie, all in the same shop! it started when i walked in one day wearing one of my t-shirts from threadless; this one is entitled "diabolical hot dog":
how awesome is that t-shirt? anyhoo, potential CSH looked up and immediately commented on it. today i wore another threadless t-shirt, this time it was "rock how to":
and again i caught him looking my way, checking out my tee, though this time he didn't say anything. we looked at each other a few times, smiled at each other a bit and i thought to myself "hmmm, he is quite cute." the only thing is that i am NOT going to ask him out, NO WAY IN HELL - how would that look if i systematically went through all the male workers at that coffee shop, asking each one out in turn? BAD, BAD, BAD. so all i'm saying is that there's something else to keep me occupied when i'm there, besides drinking my tea...
ooo, and a little bit more boy gossip: londoner has returned (well, sort of). so i haven't heard from him since the end of june/beginning of july. on the advice of a friend, i texted him when i got back to london letting him know i was back in town. nada. nothing. so yes, of course i get the hint - i got the hint even before the summer was over. anyhoo, what bugged me about the whole thing was that this was the same person who was so "open and honest", who confided in me about personal things that you just don't tell people you've just met; someone who waxed poetic about life, philosophy, true love, blah, blah, blah...he seemed so sincere, so for it to end like this...if anything, i was upset at the lack of respect he showed me by not contacting me, even if it's just to let me know that he's no longer interested or that he's met someone else. french canadian had the good sense to let me know he was dating someone new when i got back from DC last year, so why not londoner? i don't expect much from anyone except they be up front and honest with me - apparently that's a tall order.
okay, so a couple of evenings ago i e-mailed him, letting him know what i thought. it wasn't a bitchy e-mail or anything like that, it was simple and to the point, and if anything, writing that e-mail was more for me than for him, as at least i got to say what i wanted to say and be done with it. i sent it to him not expecting a reply (would i really expect an e-mail at this point? ha!) and lo and behold, less than 48 hours after sending it off i get a reply. what the fuck? as soon as i call you out on your shit you contact me? in his reply he basically said he procrastinated in contacting me back; that he really is open and honest but that he is also very weak. he also told me that he met someone new over the summer but that he still really likes me, so if i can forgive him then perhaps we can be friends "somewhat". right.
i'm pretty certain i will not be replying to that. what's the point? what semblance of a friendship would we have? i frankly do not want to be friends with someone who does shit like that. friends of mine have said "oh, but he had the best of intentions" - bollocks i say. i want someone who does what he says and says what he does, plain and simple. i want someone to like me so much that he will ACTUALLY call when he wants to call, and WANTS to hang out with me and makes it so! are these basic wants so far-fetched and unattainable? seriously!
thoughts, people, opinions? what say you?
CET :o)
school is KICKING MY ASS. the pace and workload are relentless! i keep up with the coursework which is fine, but all the extra notes you're suppose to take/keep up with outside of class, all the readings, holy shit, there is just so much to do! in first and second year you could kind of get away with not doing too much until exam time (as evidenced by my frequent trips to the coffee shop, spitalfields market, kinetica, brick lane, etc.) but not this year - if you don't start now you are seriously screwed. i sometimes wonder if my brain has the holding capacity for all this information? seriously!
last wednesday i was in the studio audience during a taping of the GRAHAM NORTON SHOW!!! for those who don't know who he is, click on this link. he was sooo funny and the whole experience was great; best part was the fact that i was pretty close to the front, so everytime the camera was pointed to the audience you could see me! ha ha ha, my few milliseconds of fame. gabriel byrne was a guest and he was pretty cool, though it took him forever to tell one story, even if they were good. they cut out a lot of what he said just for that fact alone. and the second best part - the musical act on were THE BACKSTREET BOYS! hahahahahahaha - they were so bad, i was laughing throughout their entire performance. and yes, they really are that short in real life. oh, and for my friends in canada, i taped the show so if you want to see me on it i'll bring it back to toronto over christmas. :o)
i've gotten a second job that i started last week - i am officially a bar wench! yes that's right, CET got a job at her university bar. last friday was training day and i must say i'm liking it very much; it's a great way to meet people and there is something slightly cool about being a bartender. tomorrow's my first shift on my own - wish me luck! oh, that reminds me, i need to e-mail prof b and personally invite him down for a drink. :o)
the last couple of times i've been to the coffee shop i haven't seen the hottie; instead, i have discovered another POTENTIAL coffee shop hottie, all in the same shop! it started when i walked in one day wearing one of my t-shirts from threadless; this one is entitled "diabolical hot dog":
how awesome is that t-shirt? anyhoo, potential CSH looked up and immediately commented on it. today i wore another threadless t-shirt, this time it was "rock how to":
and again i caught him looking my way, checking out my tee, though this time he didn't say anything. we looked at each other a few times, smiled at each other a bit and i thought to myself "hmmm, he is quite cute." the only thing is that i am NOT going to ask him out, NO WAY IN HELL - how would that look if i systematically went through all the male workers at that coffee shop, asking each one out in turn? BAD, BAD, BAD. so all i'm saying is that there's something else to keep me occupied when i'm there, besides drinking my tea...
ooo, and a little bit more boy gossip: londoner has returned (well, sort of). so i haven't heard from him since the end of june/beginning of july. on the advice of a friend, i texted him when i got back to london letting him know i was back in town. nada. nothing. so yes, of course i get the hint - i got the hint even before the summer was over. anyhoo, what bugged me about the whole thing was that this was the same person who was so "open and honest", who confided in me about personal things that you just don't tell people you've just met; someone who waxed poetic about life, philosophy, true love, blah, blah, blah...he seemed so sincere, so for it to end like this...if anything, i was upset at the lack of respect he showed me by not contacting me, even if it's just to let me know that he's no longer interested or that he's met someone else. french canadian had the good sense to let me know he was dating someone new when i got back from DC last year, so why not londoner? i don't expect much from anyone except they be up front and honest with me - apparently that's a tall order.
okay, so a couple of evenings ago i e-mailed him, letting him know what i thought. it wasn't a bitchy e-mail or anything like that, it was simple and to the point, and if anything, writing that e-mail was more for me than for him, as at least i got to say what i wanted to say and be done with it. i sent it to him not expecting a reply (would i really expect an e-mail at this point? ha!) and lo and behold, less than 48 hours after sending it off i get a reply. what the fuck? as soon as i call you out on your shit you contact me? in his reply he basically said he procrastinated in contacting me back; that he really is open and honest but that he is also very weak. he also told me that he met someone new over the summer but that he still really likes me, so if i can forgive him then perhaps we can be friends "somewhat". right.
i'm pretty certain i will not be replying to that. what's the point? what semblance of a friendship would we have? i frankly do not want to be friends with someone who does shit like that. friends of mine have said "oh, but he had the best of intentions" - bollocks i say. i want someone who does what he says and says what he does, plain and simple. i want someone to like me so much that he will ACTUALLY call when he wants to call, and WANTS to hang out with me and makes it so! are these basic wants so far-fetched and unattainable? seriously!
thoughts, people, opinions? what say you?
CET :o)
Monday, October 15, 2007
almost forgot!
walked into the coffee shop on friday afternoon and to my utter delight, saw the beautiful mocha eyes of my lovely coffee shop hottie. he asked me how my summer in canada was and i asked about his; we spoke a bit about the miserable summer weather-wise that england experienced, and that's about it.
may not seem like much of an exchange and perhaps it wasn't, but it made me smile.
mmm, he's a part of my routine, my life here in londontown and i'm happy to resume it again.
CET :o)
may not seem like much of an exchange and perhaps it wasn't, but it made me smile.
mmm, he's a part of my routine, my life here in londontown and i'm happy to resume it again.
CET :o)
dresses and weddings, oh my!
walked by coast today, a store that specializes in beautiful dresses for special occasions. it's one of those stores you walk by where you wistfully gaze at the window, wishing your wallet was just that much bigger. they were having a mid-season sale so i thought i'd "pop" in just to see what was on offer. ended up buying a chocolate and cream strapless number that i absolutely love, and for half price! score!
i justify it in my brain because i have FIVE weddings already in the books to attend next summer (one in may, two in june, one in august and one in september) - a girl's gotta have a kick-ass dress, right?
that's what i keep telling myself.
a bit of a quiet weekend i suppose. went out with t&a on friday for drinks and dinner - ended up getting drunk on a concoction that was suppose to be a long island ice tea but tasted like pure tequila. fell asleep on the coach. classy.
saturday was a morning of homework followed by an afternoon wandering around greenwich park and market. had a freshly shucked french oyster for about a pound. mmm, delicieux! :o) spent the evening watching NCSI, CSI las vegas, law and order: special victims unit, and criminal minds. if that's not an exciting, party-filled saturday night then i don't know what is. :o)
sunday was spent wandering around camden with nunuk. great weather, lots of cute eye candy, good food and good company - a lovely way to spend a very rare, lovely fall day in londontown.
CET :o)
i justify it in my brain because i have FIVE weddings already in the books to attend next summer (one in may, two in june, one in august and one in september) - a girl's gotta have a kick-ass dress, right?
that's what i keep telling myself.
a bit of a quiet weekend i suppose. went out with t&a on friday for drinks and dinner - ended up getting drunk on a concoction that was suppose to be a long island ice tea but tasted like pure tequila. fell asleep on the coach. classy.
saturday was a morning of homework followed by an afternoon wandering around greenwich park and market. had a freshly shucked french oyster for about a pound. mmm, delicieux! :o) spent the evening watching NCSI, CSI las vegas, law and order: special victims unit, and criminal minds. if that's not an exciting, party-filled saturday night then i don't know what is. :o)
sunday was spent wandering around camden with nunuk. great weather, lots of cute eye candy, good food and good company - a lovely way to spend a very rare, lovely fall day in londontown.
CET :o)
Friday, October 12, 2007
on my way to school this morning...
hungerford bridge in the morning light:
getting off the train at charing cross station:
this is the park by my school. it looks like the branch is about to tap the man on the head!
my feet in the leaves. i like taking pictures of my feet in different locations. weird, i know.
the soccer/football field across from the park:
CET :o)
getting off the train at charing cross station:
this is the park by my school. it looks like the branch is about to tap the man on the head!
my feet in the leaves. i like taking pictures of my feet in different locations. weird, i know.
the soccer/football field across from the park:
CET :o)
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
the view from my window
this is the view from my window now:
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compared to last year:
what a difference, eh? i'm obviously living in a part of london now that is a little quieter, more suburban than the hustle and bustle of east london. i do miss the organized chaos and the grittiness (not to mention being within walking distance to spitalfields, brick lane, and my favourite coffee shop), but i am starting to appreciate the space, the green and the trees, as well as breathing in (relatively) cleaner air when i step outside on my way to school, compared to the sludge they call air in the central part of the city.
coffee shop: i went last friday with my evil hypnotist and coffee shop hottie wasn't there. two new people were there instead. hmmm. this was the first time i stepped in since i've been back here so i'm not panicking just yet; i plan to pop by tomorrow so we shall see if i'm lucky enough to run into him...
it's so funny because tonight classmate T and her fiance A and i were talking about potential suitors for me amongst their friends. i honestly don't know what i want at the moment, or whether i'm even actively looking; perhaps it's a lull brought on by lack of action in that department, or indifference, i don't know, but i feel like my life's too full at the moment with other things to concentrate on finding a mate. perhaps that's a cop out, i don't know, but it just doesn't feel like one of my priorities at the moment. maybe i just haven't been "swept up" by anyone yet.
CET :o)
.jpg)
compared to last year:
what a difference, eh? i'm obviously living in a part of london now that is a little quieter, more suburban than the hustle and bustle of east london. i do miss the organized chaos and the grittiness (not to mention being within walking distance to spitalfields, brick lane, and my favourite coffee shop), but i am starting to appreciate the space, the green and the trees, as well as breathing in (relatively) cleaner air when i step outside on my way to school, compared to the sludge they call air in the central part of the city.
coffee shop: i went last friday with my evil hypnotist and coffee shop hottie wasn't there. two new people were there instead. hmmm. this was the first time i stepped in since i've been back here so i'm not panicking just yet; i plan to pop by tomorrow so we shall see if i'm lucky enough to run into him...
it's so funny because tonight classmate T and her fiance A and i were talking about potential suitors for me amongst their friends. i honestly don't know what i want at the moment, or whether i'm even actively looking; perhaps it's a lull brought on by lack of action in that department, or indifference, i don't know, but i feel like my life's too full at the moment with other things to concentrate on finding a mate. perhaps that's a cop out, i don't know, but it just doesn't feel like one of my priorities at the moment. maybe i just haven't been "swept up" by anyone yet.
CET :o)
Monday, October 08, 2007
finally
hello everyone!
big apologies for the hiatus from the blogsphere, as per usual my life consisted of a whirlwind of activity in toronto right up to my flight back to london, and as per usual my time in london has consisted of settling into my new digs, catching up with old friends and yeah, school. this term is going to be a doozy.
right before i left for the uk i took a short break outside of toronto to visit with friends. it was a trip that was both amazing and frustrating at the same time. i'll try to make this short, because although you perhaps haven't heard the story, i have recounted it to various friends numerous times, and at this point i'm just sick of the whole thing. here we go...
one of the friends on this trip, let's call her squiggle, is a very difficult person to like, let alone travel with. she's young, immature, self-righteous, snobby, self-absorbed and frankly annoying. my other friend, let's call him muscle, his generally a good guy but a little on the intense side; he gets riled up easily.
basically, these two friends on a trip together made for some serious head-butting and guess who was caught in the middle? yup, me. muscle would rant at me about squiggle, squiggle would be completely oblivious to her annoying effect on people, and i had to put up with this for the entire trip. thank god for our tour guide and new-found friend, a local named guppy. he was cute, funny as hell and was what basically kept me sane for the entire time. we hit it off right away - there was some definite flirting between us - so at least when i wasn't getting pissed off at the other two i was laughing and flirting it up with him.
i thought the flirting was going somewhere, but during my one off day when i really couldn't take anyone anymore (and walked off), squiggle proceeded to move in on guppy and pretty much flirted with him shamelessly for the rest of the trip.
thanks, squiggle, thanks. that's called being a friend.
so while the vistas were amazing along with most of the people i met on this trip, it was definitely tainted by this whole squiggle/muscle/guppy fiasco. i was quite gutted about guppy, only because he made me laugh like no one else in a long time, and i thought i would at least get a snog out of it! "the way to a man's heart is through his stomach" - i would say that the way to my heart is through my funny bone, and guppy sure knew how to hit it.
CET :o)
big apologies for the hiatus from the blogsphere, as per usual my life consisted of a whirlwind of activity in toronto right up to my flight back to london, and as per usual my time in london has consisted of settling into my new digs, catching up with old friends and yeah, school. this term is going to be a doozy.
right before i left for the uk i took a short break outside of toronto to visit with friends. it was a trip that was both amazing and frustrating at the same time. i'll try to make this short, because although you perhaps haven't heard the story, i have recounted it to various friends numerous times, and at this point i'm just sick of the whole thing. here we go...
one of the friends on this trip, let's call her squiggle, is a very difficult person to like, let alone travel with. she's young, immature, self-righteous, snobby, self-absorbed and frankly annoying. my other friend, let's call him muscle, his generally a good guy but a little on the intense side; he gets riled up easily.
basically, these two friends on a trip together made for some serious head-butting and guess who was caught in the middle? yup, me. muscle would rant at me about squiggle, squiggle would be completely oblivious to her annoying effect on people, and i had to put up with this for the entire trip. thank god for our tour guide and new-found friend, a local named guppy. he was cute, funny as hell and was what basically kept me sane for the entire time. we hit it off right away - there was some definite flirting between us - so at least when i wasn't getting pissed off at the other two i was laughing and flirting it up with him.
i thought the flirting was going somewhere, but during my one off day when i really couldn't take anyone anymore (and walked off), squiggle proceeded to move in on guppy and pretty much flirted with him shamelessly for the rest of the trip.
thanks, squiggle, thanks. that's called being a friend.
so while the vistas were amazing along with most of the people i met on this trip, it was definitely tainted by this whole squiggle/muscle/guppy fiasco. i was quite gutted about guppy, only because he made me laugh like no one else in a long time, and i thought i would at least get a snog out of it! "the way to a man's heart is through his stomach" - i would say that the way to my heart is through my funny bone, and guppy sure knew how to hit it.
CET :o)
Sunday, September 02, 2007
summer's end
it's been a while since i blogged but the truth is i don't really have much to blog about at the moment...correction, i have lots of thoughts i'd like to put down but there just isn't any time at the moment...i still haven't written my post about why i don't believe in "the one", or my thoughts surrounding turning thirty soon (in response to karen cheng's call for submissions).
work (both full-time and part-time jobs) are ending soon, classmate T and her now-fiance A (congrats to you both!) are coming to visit next week, after that i'm taking a week-long trip for some much-needed R&R, then as soon as i'm home from that i'm packing and leaving for london again!
my summer here at home has been as great as always. even though we grow older and some of us create new families, and even though we're all so busy with life, i love the fact that the people i consider my good friends will always make time to meet up, even if it's just for a coffee. perhaps it's kind of sad that it has to be this way (indicative of our fast-paced society perhaps), but friendships (not just relationships) require effort and i'm glad that everyone still makes the effort to see each other. i think friendships are just as big a priority as work, marriage, etc., and it's good to see my friends think so too, married or otherwise!
CET :o)
work (both full-time and part-time jobs) are ending soon, classmate T and her now-fiance A (congrats to you both!) are coming to visit next week, after that i'm taking a week-long trip for some much-needed R&R, then as soon as i'm home from that i'm packing and leaving for london again!
my summer here at home has been as great as always. even though we grow older and some of us create new families, and even though we're all so busy with life, i love the fact that the people i consider my good friends will always make time to meet up, even if it's just for a coffee. perhaps it's kind of sad that it has to be this way (indicative of our fast-paced society perhaps), but friendships (not just relationships) require effort and i'm glad that everyone still makes the effort to see each other. i think friendships are just as big a priority as work, marriage, etc., and it's good to see my friends think so too, married or otherwise!
CET :o)
Monday, August 20, 2007
young playas - holla!
i was visiting a friend at her new home on friday night; i was sitting on the porch while she was watering the lawn.
three young boys wheeled by on their bikes - they couldn't have been more than twelve years old - one of them shouted at us, "hey sexy, lemme holla at cha!" or something to that effect.
CET, yelling this down the street as they wheeled away: "WHY DON'T YOU GROW SOME PUBES FIRST?"
then i spent the rest of the time laughing my ass off, especially when one of them rode back to do a wheelie in front of us, just to impress us. i turned to my friend and asked "is that the twelve year old equivalent of a man driving a porsche?" too funny.
CET :o)
three young boys wheeled by on their bikes - they couldn't have been more than twelve years old - one of them shouted at us, "hey sexy, lemme holla at cha!" or something to that effect.
CET, yelling this down the street as they wheeled away: "WHY DON'T YOU GROW SOME PUBES FIRST?"
then i spent the rest of the time laughing my ass off, especially when one of them rode back to do a wheelie in front of us, just to impress us. i turned to my friend and asked "is that the twelve year old equivalent of a man driving a porsche?" too funny.
CET :o)
Monday, August 13, 2007
and see what i mean?
i finally watched "pirates of the caribbean III" on friday and it proves my point about society's take on marriage - elizabeth swann (keira knightly) and will turner (orlando bloom) get married first before they have sex at the end of the film - obviously disney couldn't show them getting it on without a set of marriage vows exchanged first. sure, it was back in the day when sex before marriage was a HUGE no no (compared to it being a small no no, relatively speaking, now) and notice how calypso and davy jones got it on in the past but their relationship ended horribly - perhaps this is a snide reference/commentary to having sex before marriage? perhaps i'm reading too much into this and need to get a life? i think it's a little of both.
CET :o)
CET :o)
Thursday, August 09, 2007
CET fans
oh and i'd also like to say how happy it makes me when i find i still (after almost two years) have fans of my blog! i don't expect or necessarily want huge numbers of readers, i just want those who do read my blog to enjoy it. i also hope that my writing style continues to improve. there are definitely better/more interesting blogs out there, so i appreciate those who take the time to click on mine and have a read.
and as always, comments are more than welcome, even if it's just to say hello!
CET :o)
and as always, comments are more than welcome, even if it's just to say hello!
CET :o)
thursday afternoon musings
spent this past long weekend at mr. bing's family cottage. every year we go and every year it's fantastic - swimming in the warm water, jumping off the dock playing silly water games, lazing about in the hot tub or taking a nap in the sun room, roasting marshmallows by the fire at night, covered up to the nines to keep the mosquitoes at bay...the days seem endless and the memories made are forever!
had dinner last night with some old friends from my university days (first degree, not current!). i find lately that the talk invariably shifts to men, marriage and babies. the three of us are similar in age but at very different stages in our lives; one is in a long-term relationship, and is practically engaged, one is recovering from a bad break-up, and then there's me, actively dating (well, trying to anyway) and just enjoying the scene for a while.
men: where exactly are these "good" men? that always seems to be the universal complaint from all my single girlfriends. i'm actually starting to get really sick and tired of that phrase everytime i hear it - it's like you have more of a chance of getting struck by lightning than finding a "good" man. i do have my moments of frustration with men, obviously, and i'm sure there are times where i'm the one screaming that phrase at the top of my lungs, but for the most part i think that finding a "good" man requires being pro-active about it but also being in the right place at the right time, which is something you really can't control. most importantly, i believe working on yourself and enjoying your own life should take precedence over "the search for a good man". i hope that wasn't too preachy!
marriage: all this marriage talk is annoying me too. i'm completely happy for those who are married, who are about to get married, and those who want to get married, but listening/talking about it in every single conversation can be quite tiring. it still bothers me to no end how society expects it of you, like you've failed if you end up unmarried (especially for women, how unmarried = spinster = sad, lonely, forgettable woman). i don't like these expectations because people, for the most part, want to be in love with the person they marry and frankly, i think love is very hard to come by/cultivate with someone. i've been in love twice and i do wonder sometimes if i'll ever be lucky enough to experience it again.
babies: for some reason my ovaries aren't bursting every time i see a baby, whether on tv or on the laps of friends/new mothers. i think it's just the stage i'm at, as i'm still in school and the stage of motherhood, let alone being a certified pharmacist, seems light years away.
i guess what i'm trying to say is that i feel like i'm entering a "second puberty". have i talked about this in a previous blog post before? i think so. it's like when you first got your period and first started junior high; you felt different, your friends changed, your environment changed and you didn't like it. you knew it was inevitable but there was definitely an adjustment period. i think i'm going through the same thing only instead of adjusting to periods and junior high it's now adjusting to friends growing up, getting married and having families.
conclusion? being an adult is over-rated. :o)
had dinner last night with some old friends from my university days (first degree, not current!). i find lately that the talk invariably shifts to men, marriage and babies. the three of us are similar in age but at very different stages in our lives; one is in a long-term relationship, and is practically engaged, one is recovering from a bad break-up, and then there's me, actively dating (well, trying to anyway) and just enjoying the scene for a while.
men: where exactly are these "good" men? that always seems to be the universal complaint from all my single girlfriends. i'm actually starting to get really sick and tired of that phrase everytime i hear it - it's like you have more of a chance of getting struck by lightning than finding a "good" man. i do have my moments of frustration with men, obviously, and i'm sure there are times where i'm the one screaming that phrase at the top of my lungs, but for the most part i think that finding a "good" man requires being pro-active about it but also being in the right place at the right time, which is something you really can't control. most importantly, i believe working on yourself and enjoying your own life should take precedence over "the search for a good man". i hope that wasn't too preachy!
marriage: all this marriage talk is annoying me too. i'm completely happy for those who are married, who are about to get married, and those who want to get married, but listening/talking about it in every single conversation can be quite tiring. it still bothers me to no end how society expects it of you, like you've failed if you end up unmarried (especially for women, how unmarried = spinster = sad, lonely, forgettable woman). i don't like these expectations because people, for the most part, want to be in love with the person they marry and frankly, i think love is very hard to come by/cultivate with someone. i've been in love twice and i do wonder sometimes if i'll ever be lucky enough to experience it again.
babies: for some reason my ovaries aren't bursting every time i see a baby, whether on tv or on the laps of friends/new mothers. i think it's just the stage i'm at, as i'm still in school and the stage of motherhood, let alone being a certified pharmacist, seems light years away.
i guess what i'm trying to say is that i feel like i'm entering a "second puberty". have i talked about this in a previous blog post before? i think so. it's like when you first got your period and first started junior high; you felt different, your friends changed, your environment changed and you didn't like it. you knew it was inevitable but there was definitely an adjustment period. i think i'm going through the same thing only instead of adjusting to periods and junior high it's now adjusting to friends growing up, getting married and having families.
conclusion? being an adult is over-rated. :o)
Wednesday, August 01, 2007
definitive proof...
...that women will never understand men and men will never understand women.
i went to see the simpsons movie on friday. it was so good! full of what felt like the best of the best simpsons jokes. i won't say much more than that because i don't want to give anything away but yeah, i enjoyed it very much.
the movie theatre was a couple of blocks away from my friend's party, the one that office boy was attending. she called me that afternoon before i went to the movies and we had a good chat; basically we agreed to hell with office boy and his insecurities; she said to come over to her place after the movie.
when i arrived i could see him in my peripheral vision but delibrately chose to acknowledge his presence only at the last possible moment. he comes up to me and gives me a hug and i'm thinking "what the fuck? don't touch me you bastard!" he was his usual arrogant, hypocritical and snarky self, chatting to me and making jokes like he wasn't revolted at seeing me at this party, the way he was just a few days earlier.
i only stayed for about an hour as i was meeting up with my sister; when i left and was walking past him, on my way out the door do you know what he does? he takes my hand and holds it for a moment before letting go. what the FUCK? what the hell is he playing at? i don't get it, i just don't get it. anyhoo, when he did that i didn't look at him and just kept on walking until he let go.
that's enough about him, ugh. time for bed.
CET :o)
i went to see the simpsons movie on friday. it was so good! full of what felt like the best of the best simpsons jokes. i won't say much more than that because i don't want to give anything away but yeah, i enjoyed it very much.
the movie theatre was a couple of blocks away from my friend's party, the one that office boy was attending. she called me that afternoon before i went to the movies and we had a good chat; basically we agreed to hell with office boy and his insecurities; she said to come over to her place after the movie.
when i arrived i could see him in my peripheral vision but delibrately chose to acknowledge his presence only at the last possible moment. he comes up to me and gives me a hug and i'm thinking "what the fuck? don't touch me you bastard!" he was his usual arrogant, hypocritical and snarky self, chatting to me and making jokes like he wasn't revolted at seeing me at this party, the way he was just a few days earlier.
i only stayed for about an hour as i was meeting up with my sister; when i left and was walking past him, on my way out the door do you know what he does? he takes my hand and holds it for a moment before letting go. what the FUCK? what the hell is he playing at? i don't get it, i just don't get it. anyhoo, when he did that i didn't look at him and just kept on walking until he let go.
that's enough about him, ugh. time for bed.
CET :o)
Friday, July 27, 2007
khota
Dear Office Boy,
You are a dickless wonder. Yes, you.
We slept together on two separate occasions over the span of a week, almost a year ago, and you feel the need to act like this?
I will not be attending our mutual friend's party as a favour to her; she is the hostess and I do not want to add worry and discomfort to her other duties, however fun it would have been to see you squirm.
Whatever it was that I found attractive about you back then clearly does not exist.
I know they say you should never burn your bridges, but consider this one burnt to the ground beyond recognition.
Adios.
Yours very sincerely,
CET
NOTE: no i did not send this to him, however much i would have liked to; he wouldn't have understood anyway. i did however remove him from my facebook friends list, and that feels oh so good! :o)
You are a dickless wonder. Yes, you.
We slept together on two separate occasions over the span of a week, almost a year ago, and you feel the need to act like this?
I will not be attending our mutual friend's party as a favour to her; she is the hostess and I do not want to add worry and discomfort to her other duties, however fun it would have been to see you squirm.
Whatever it was that I found attractive about you back then clearly does not exist.
I know they say you should never burn your bridges, but consider this one burnt to the ground beyond recognition.
Adios.
Yours very sincerely,
CET
NOTE: no i did not send this to him, however much i would have liked to; he wouldn't have understood anyway. i did however remove him from my facebook friends list, and that feels oh so good! :o)
Thursday, July 26, 2007
what the fuck?
it's my lunch hour at the moment but instead of feeding my rumbling belly i am blogging because i am just slightly upset.
so i was suppose to go to a friend's housewarming tomorrow and i knew that office boy was going to be there. no big deal as it's SO in the past and he has a girlfriend anyway and i'd like to think we're both adults but i guess he proved me wrong. i spoke to my friend today and apparently when she mentioned i would be at the party he got all "weirded out" and basically made it obvious that he was not comfortable with me being there. WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH THAT? how old are we office boy, TWO?
i know you might think "well, what about your friend, she should've told him to suck it up as you're her friend as well". i forgive her because it's not so much about choosing which friend's side but more of "i don't want there to be an uncomfortable atmosphere in the room". besides, i kind of did that to her once so i suppose we are now even. there's karma for you, eh?
i just can't help shaking my head and laughing at this whole debaucle. i honestly wonder what's going through his head and why after all this time he is acting the way he's acting. he has a girlfriend, for christ's sake! oh yeah, they got back together after he shattered her ice-cold heart. whatever.
does he still think i like him? do boys think girls, once they admit their crush, will always like them - will like the boy to the end of the girl's daying days? i mean, for real? he is so full of himself if he thinks i still want him. my god, if anything now he just makes me want to puke. oh, and punch him in his stupid-ass face.
ah, feel a bit better now. off to forage for some food.
CET :o/
so i was suppose to go to a friend's housewarming tomorrow and i knew that office boy was going to be there. no big deal as it's SO in the past and he has a girlfriend anyway and i'd like to think we're both adults but i guess he proved me wrong. i spoke to my friend today and apparently when she mentioned i would be at the party he got all "weirded out" and basically made it obvious that he was not comfortable with me being there. WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH THAT? how old are we office boy, TWO?
i know you might think "well, what about your friend, she should've told him to suck it up as you're her friend as well". i forgive her because it's not so much about choosing which friend's side but more of "i don't want there to be an uncomfortable atmosphere in the room". besides, i kind of did that to her once so i suppose we are now even. there's karma for you, eh?
i just can't help shaking my head and laughing at this whole debaucle. i honestly wonder what's going through his head and why after all this time he is acting the way he's acting. he has a girlfriend, for christ's sake! oh yeah, they got back together after he shattered her ice-cold heart. whatever.
does he still think i like him? do boys think girls, once they admit their crush, will always like them - will like the boy to the end of the girl's daying days? i mean, for real? he is so full of himself if he thinks i still want him. my god, if anything now he just makes me want to puke. oh, and punch him in his stupid-ass face.
ah, feel a bit better now. off to forage for some food.
CET :o/
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